One Angry Judge
by darkclocks
Summary: Alex and Olivia reconnect after being locked in the courthouse one night with some familiar faces and revelations. Funny and Angsty. Olivia & Alex pairing.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing by my own characters.

A/N: I hope for this to be a fun story more than anything. Takes place in and around present day. Let me know what you think.

* * *

CHAPTER 1

Lt. Olivia Benson was on the phone in her office and let out a loud sigh. Even after all of these years, these cases never got any easier, but this one was going to be more than difficult to prove. Had it not been for a pleading phone call from her old friend Rebecca Hendrix, she would have recommended to ADA Barba that they just suggest counseling for everyone involved.

"Olivia, it's a third degree criminal sexual act," Rebecca said when Olivia gave a silent protest to the case. Olivia rolled her eyes at the former police officer's knowledge of the laws.

"Rebecca, we're looking at sexual misconduct at most, a misdemeanor. And you and I both know these cases are nearly impossible to prove. I'm not saying it's not worth it; I 'm just saying sometimes the process can be traumatic, as well."

"Liv, please, just talk to her. If you and your ADA don't find her credible, then you can drop it. Of course, you can be the one to tell Judge Ramsey that his daughter's sexual assault isn't worth the time of the SVU."

"Judge Ramsey?" Olivia's tone changed from supportive to angry. "You're just now telling me this?" Olivia was pissed that Rebecca kept this information from her until now.

"So, you'll meet with her?" Olivia could hear Rebecca smirking through the phone.

"Yes. Barba and I will meet with her. But no promises," Olivia finally compromised.

Olivia hung up the phone and sighed. _He said she said_ cases were hard to prove in general and often turned complicated for everyone involved.

Of course, this case didn't involve just anyone; it involved the 16-year-old daughter of a judge, who also happened to be a patient of Rebecca. Barba was not going to be happy.

#

"No." Barba's reply was simple and exactly what Olivia expected.

"Listen, I wouldn't normally ask, but it's Judge Ramsey's daughter. I'm just afraid if we blow this off..." Olivia didn't need to finish her sentence because Barba knew exactly where it was going and rolled his eyes.

"If we don't at least investigate, we're going to have a Judge questioning why. Fine. But, seriously, Liv, two 16-year-olds having sex? I mean, if we started locking up everyone who's ever done that, we may as well turn the schools into jails."

"I know. But, if there was any coercion, hopefully, we'll find out."

"And we have reason to believe there may have been?" Barba asked.

"Her therapist called me after the Judge and his wife talked to her. She met with Jessica again and got her to open up. She didn't specifically say it, but Dr. Hendrix believes she may be holding something back."

"Wait, her doctor called you? Not her parents?" Barba was confused.

"Yes. We went through academy together. She said to expect a call from Judge Ramsey today."

"And you trust Dr. Hendrix?" Olivia did, mostly. She and Hendrix often disagreed and butted heads over the years, but she did believe she wanted what was best for victims.

Olivia nodded. "I do."

"Okay, well, call Judge Ramsey before he calls you, as a sign of good faith, and get them in here."

#

After meeting with Jessica Ramsey and her parents, Barba followed Olivia back to her office.

"Well?" Olivia asked.

Barba sighed and shook his head. "It's not ideal, but she seems credible. There was definitely sexual contact, that may or may not have been consensual, but by the letter of the law, it may not matter. Have your detectives go talk to Jacob and let's hear his side of the story."

They walked out of the office.

"Carisi. Rollins. Go talk to Jacob Blackley and see what he has to say," Olivia told her detectives.

"We're on it, Lieutenant. " Carisi and Rollins grabbed their jackets and headed out the door.

"Let me know if you get anything," Barba said before leaving the squad room.

#

Two hours later, Carisi and Rollins returned from talking to Jacob and headed into Olivia's office.

"How did it go?"

"He didn't deny they were in a relationship, but his version is a lot more PG-13 than R-rated," Carisi explained. "He claims _she_ was the one always coming on to him and that the few times there was any sexual, uh, touching, it was Jessica who instigated it. Maybe it's just me, but I'm not sure where the harm is in two teenagers feeling each other up every now and then."

Carisi's last comment got an eye roll out of both Olivia and Rollins.

"Well, according to the law, for a third degree criminal sexual act, or even sexual misconduct, if they are under 17, it doesn't matter their age or if it's consensual," Olivia explained. "Don't get me wrong; I agree with what you're saying, but her parents and doctor believe she was forced. We need to find out if there is any validity to that."

Olivia paused, thinking of their next move. "Go back to Jessica and see if we can get any proof of a sexual relationship. See if the Judge will give you access to her phone and computer without a warrant and see what you can dig up. I'll talk to Barba, but we're probably not going to be able to get a warrant for his phone or computer until we have at least something to back up her story."

Carisi and Rollins nodded and headed back out. Olivia had just sat back down when she heard a knock on her door and Fin came in.

"You got a visitor, Liv." Olivia looked up to see Fin standing there with Casey Novak.

"Good to see you, Casey," Fin said before leaving the two women alone.

"Casey!" Olivia was surprised to see their old ADA. She got up to give her a hug before sitting back down. "To what do I owe the pleasure? You miss SVU? I thought you left the DA's office."

"I did. Started working at a law firm downtown. Mostly corporate bullshit."

Olivia laughed, still not sure why her old friend was in her office.

"It's funny you mention SVU though, Olivia. I am actually here about an SVU case." Olivia gave her a confused look.

"Jacob Blackley's dad has retained me as his attorney. I understand your detectives talked to him today?"

"Wow. You work quick. I don't understand, though. Why exactly are you representing Jacob? I mean, nevermind the fact that he may have raped our victim, what does this have to do with _corporate bullshit_?"

"His dad is a client of mine. He knows I used to work SVU, so when Jacob called him..."

"...he called you for help." Olivia finished Casey's sentence.

Casey nodded. "Listen, Liv, I don't want to be here doing this any more than you want me here doing this. But, he's my client, and honestly, Jacob is a good kid."

"Casey, how many times have we heard someone is a _good kid_? You know as well as I do that teenagers keep things from their parents."

"Don't I ever," Casey grinned. "The fact of the matter is, his father is a good client, and I will be making sure Jacob has the best possible defense."

"Okay, well, you know where to find Barba."

"Yes, I called him on my way over. I just wanted to stop in and see you first. It's been a while," Casey smiled and picked up a picture of Noah on her desk. "He's getting so big, Olivia. How is he?"

"He's really good, Case. We both are."

"Good." Casey got up to leave. "I guess I'll see you in court. Oh, and from now on, no one talks to Jacob without me present." They both smiled as Casey left the squad room.

 _Yep, this case definitely just got more difficult_ , Olivia thought. Casey was not only a good attorney, one of the best Olivia had worked with, but she knew her way inside and out of how the SVU squad worked. If there was ever an unfair advantage, Casey Novak sure had it.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

"What do you mean Judge Ramsey wouldn't let us search his daughter's phone and computer without a warrant? He's the only reason we're looking at this case." Barba was pacing his office and unhappy with the information Olivia and Fin had brought him.

"He didn't give a reason. He's a judge, though. Having his family's personal laundry aired may not be something he wants. I mean, we all have things, no matter how innocent, that we don't want to get out," Fin said.

"You don't think I know that. I'm just frustrated because I'll have to do a hell of a convincing job a judge to sign off on a warrant now, for either of them." Barba finally stopped pacing. "They're still in the process of getting someone in here to replace Judge Jackson. Based on the caseload, I'll probably have to ask Judge Petrovsky."

Fin and Olivia rolled their eyes. "Who is the new judge coming?" Olivia asked.

"I have no idea. Judge Jackson died so suddenly that I think everyone is scrambling. I'll find someone and call you when I have something. It's late today, so it'll probably be tomorrow. In the meantime, keep digging," Barba said.

Olivia exhaled, and she and Fin headed back to the squad room.

#

Olivia was glad to be home. Her day hadn't been any longer or more stressful than any other day in SVU, but there was something about coming home to a glass of wine and playing with Noah.

"Hey, baby, did you and Lucy have fun today? How about a movie?" Olivia asked Noah after she had fed and bathed him.

Noah looked at the DVDs in front of the TV. He couldn't say too much yet, but he definitely understood the words 'movie' and 'park.' He reached for _Finding Nemo_.

"Again?" Olivia asked as she looked into the big brown, sparkling eyes of her son. "Okay, _Nemo_ it is."

Olivia didn't actually mind. She knew Noah would be sleep before the movie was half over, and truth be told, she kind of enjoyed it.

Once Noah was out, she carried him to his room and put him to bed. After she was certain he would stay asleep, she went back to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine before settling on the couch and turning off the movie. As much as she loved her job and Noah, she appreciated these quiet times at night. In fact, it was the only time during the day that someone wasn't calling her name or some version of it. _Lieutenant. Momma. Olivia. Ms. Benson._ Between her detectives, Noah, Barba, Lucy, and the pre-school teachers, she felt like her attention was constantly being demanded...and she wouldn't change one bit of it.

She began to relax when thoughts of the case entered her mind. Actually, it was less of the details of the case and more of the random call from Rebecca and Casey showing up in her squad room. It was nice to see old friends and it made her miss some of her old SVU days. Life had gotten so busy that it was far too easy for everyone to fall out of contact.

She thought of all the people who had come and gone through the years. _Elliot. Cragen. Munch. Alex. Casey. Nick. Cassidy._ She would have never imagined the day when they would only be a faint memory; people she only saw when they happened in her squad room. Of course, years ago, even considering calling it _her squad room_ never crossed her mind, either. She guessed it was all part of moving forward in life, even if she had enjoyed reconnecting with her old friends today.

Olivia finally decided she needed to go to bed, as she figured for a long day ahead of her trying to get a break in their case. She reached for her cell phone, and as she walked in the bedroom, she noticed a text message she didn't hear come through.

When she saw who it was from, she laughed.

 _Liv - Would you like to have dinner tomorrow night? We need to talk about something. - Alex_

Of all the people, on all the days, it had to be Alex and it had to be today. Olivia smiled. She realized it was late and decided she would wait until tomorrow to text Alex back. It would be good to see her as well, although she had no idea what Alex Cabot needed to talk to her about.

#

"Hey, welcome back," Olivia said to Sgt. Dodds as she walked into the office. "How was the conference?"

"It was good. I'd tell you all about it, but Barba just called and asked you to meet him at Judge Jackson's office as soon as you got here. Something about a warrant and a new judge."

Olivia nodded.

"Do you need anything?" He asked.

"Not right now. The team can get you up to speed and hopefully I'll be back with a warrant." Olivia went to her office long enough to put her bag there and headed over to meet Barba.

Olivia caught Barba out in the hallway leading down to Judge Jackson's office.

"New judge?" Olivia asked.

Barba nodded. "I did enough complaining that they decided to send someone here a day early."

Olivia laughed. "Well, I bet they are going to love you then."

Olivia and Barba kept walking and finally reached the Judge's door.

"Yeah, well, that's why I brought you," he smirked before pushing the door open. Olivia followed Barba into the office, not sure what he meant.

Barba didn't waste any time letting her know exactly what he meant. "Judge Cabot, thanks for meeting with us."

Olivia snapped her head up at those words and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she laid eyes on Alex Cabot, who was now, Judge Alexandra Cabot.

"Alex," Olivia said, more as a question than an acknowledgment, her mouth hanging open.

Alex looked directly at Olivia, acknowledging her with a slight nod, before taking a breath and shifting her gaze back to Barba. "This better be good, Counselor," Alex said.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So, I hope you all are enjoying. As for everything in this being accurate, I have no idea. I know judges are elected in NY, but as to was cases they hear, I have no idea. I just wrote what seemed feasible; Afterall, it is fiction :)

We'll get into some of their backstory soon, as will we see Casey, Barba, Liv, and Alex all in the courtroom...and probably Judge's Chambers.

* * *

CHAPTER 3

"So both teenagers confirm the relationship?" Alex asked while she was mulling over whether to sign a warrant for electronic communication

"Yes, as well as the girl's parents," Olivia answered.

"Judge Ramsey, correct?" Alex asked. Both Olivia and Barba nodded. "Why doesn't he just give you permission to search his daughter's phone? Then you wouldn't need me to sign your flimsy request for a warrant," Alex smirked.

"Because he won't agree to it," Barba explained. "Cabot, we need this, and I know it's not much to go on, but I need you to trust the good faith of these detectives."

Alex looked up at Olivia, who was avoiding her eye contact.

"Fine, I'll sign it, _but_ it's just limited to cell phone communication between Jessica and Jacob; nothing else. Don't make this a fishing expedition. Got it, Lt. Benson?"

Olivia nodded. "Thank you."

Olivia and Barba left Cabot's office.

"What the hell was that?" She asked.

"What was what?" Barba pretended like he didn't know what she was asking.

"You could have given me a heads up our old ADA was the judge," she said, letting him know just how irritated she was.

"What, and spoil the surprised look on your face of asking your ex-lover for a warrant?"

Olivia looked at him curiously, mouth wide open for the second time this morning.

"Oh, please, Olivia. I heard the rumors. Everyone did. I didn't know until you just now confirmed it, but I figured it was worth a shot because we're going to need all the help we can get on this case."

She smirked at him. "I hate you sometimes, you know that?"

"No, you don't." They reached the exit of the building. "Now, take your warrant and find out what is going on with these teenagers."

#

Casey stormed in the SVU squad room while Carisi and Dodds were waiting to interview Jacob. The search warrant had proved to be enough to get him in for questioning and potentially arraignment.

"Where's Jacob?" Casey asked Olivia and Barba, who were getting ready to watch the interview.

"Interview room one. And don't worry, our detectives haven't said a word to him," Barba quipped.

"How did you even get a judge to sign off on this warrant?" She demanded. "You have nothing."

"Well, we had two minors disclose a sexual relationship to us. Under the law, that's all we needed to know a crime had taken place," Barba wasn't backing down.

"It's weak, and I'll get it thrown out. Who's the judge anyway?" Casey asked.

"Cabot," Barba said.

"Alex Cabot?" She groaned and shot a look at Olivia, who could only stare at the floor, desperately wanting to avoid Casey's glare.

Casey rolled her eyes before turning back to Barba. "Clever move, Barba."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure, you don't," Casey said before heading into the interview room with her client.

Olivia looked at Barba. "Is this going to be a problem? I mean, we could ask to get Alex taken off."

"It's not even a case yet, Olivia. It's one warrant, and who knows when we go to trial what judge will be assigned. Besides, you and Alex were forever ago, right? I mean, she's the judge here, if she thinks it's a conflict of interest, she should have told them that before she came to SVU."

"You're right. It's ancient history."

#

 _We should talk tonight. Can I bring dinner to your place around 7 pm? That way I can see Noah? - A_

Olivia got the text from Alex shortly after she and Barba left her office this morning. Last night, she had been looking forward to seeing Alex. Today, however, was a different story. She wasn't sure if this case could complicate her life anymore. Of course, she didn't say it out loud for fear it would find a way.

Alex arrived at Olivia's apartment right at 7 pm with dinner as promised.

"Thanks for bringing dinner, Alex. Although, I could have gotten a babysitter, and we could have gone out somewhere."

"And pass up a chance to see this handsome fellow?" Alex smiled as she kneeled down to say hello to Noah. "Hi, Noah."

"Noah, can you tell Alex hello?"

"Hewo," Noah said before going and giving Alex a hug. Alex's face lit up with a smile. So did Olivia's, watching the two of them interact.

"If you want to get some plates out, Alex, I need to be taking this guy to bed. Someone missed their nap today."

"Aww, well, if it makes you feel better, Noah, I missed mine, too." Alex smiled as Olivia carried him down the hall.

When she came back, Alex had prepared their plates and glasses of wine.

"Thanks for dinner, Alex. It's good to see you."

"Was it good to see me this morning?" Alex laughed, thinking back to the look on Olivia's face. Of course, she was just as surprised that Barba brought her along, but at least, she knew she was likely going to be seeing Olivia soon enough in that capacity.

Olivia laughed in return. "That, well, that was just more of a surprise. But your message from last night makes a lot more sense now."

"I take it Barba didn't give you the heads up this morning."

"Nope, he didn't. I'm sorry if he put you on the spot like that."

"Don't mention it, Olivia. It's fine. You know I wouldn't have signed the warrant if it wouldn't hold up anyway. Of course, those big brown eyes can be persuasive." Alex took another drink of wine while Olivia blushed recalling all the times she had use them to her advantage, both at work and at home.

"Yeah, well, unlike Barba, I will give you a heads up that you may have a pissed off defense attorney in your office tomorrow."

"What else is new?" Alex smirked. "Who is it anyway? Please tell me it's not Langdon."

"Oh, you may be wishing it was." Olivia smiled, and Alex gave her a worried look.

"It's Casey," Olivia said, watching for the shock on Alex's face.

"Seriously?!" Alex couldn't help but laugh. "So she went over to the dark side?"

"Something like that."

"Sounds like you've got your hands full with this case."

"Just another day in SVU," Olivia said and finished her glass of wine before pouring both her and Alex more.

She hadn't seen Alex very often in the past couple of years, since Alex had told her she wanted to seek election for a vacant judge seat. Of course, Alex had come by a couple times to meet and see Noah. Olivia had congratulated her when she won the election and was sworn in. But as much as they had hoped it wouldn't, their friendship had faded. Olivia missed it. Of course, just being "friends" had always been tough for Olivia and Alex. When Alex wanted to become a judge, Olivia had supported her knowing that their back and forth game they had played for years would have to end. Since then, things had just become awkward.

"So, how do you like being a judge?" Olivia finally asked after they had cleared their dinner plates.

"It's great, Olivia. I really enjoy it, and I'm happy now that I've moved to hearing criminal cases," she paused for a moment before continuing. "Of course, SVU wasn't supposed to be part of that mix. I was clear I didn't want these cases. I told them I spent too much time here as a prosecutor. And I was told it wouldn't be an issue since SVU had special judges as it was. But when Judge Jackson died..."

"...they recruited you since you had the experience."

"Yeah, you can blame Donnelly for that. She suggested it," Alex rolled her eyes. "But, it's only temporary, just until they can find a permanent replacement."

The two sat quietly for a bit.

"How's Noah? He's gotten so big since the last time I saw him."

"He's great, Alex. I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love him, and I can't imagine life without him now."

"I'm glad you're happy, Liv." Alex really was. She had never seen Olivia so relaxed.

"So, how long do you think they'll keep you in SVU?"

"Hopefully not long," Alex said, but then saw the disappointed look on Olivia's face. "Oh, no, Liv, I don't mean anything bad about SVU. It's just, I don't know, this, tonight, is nice, and I'd like to be able to do more of it."

Olivia took a deep breath. She wasn't sure if Alex meant as friends or something more, but she wasn't sure how to respond all the same.

"I mean if you wanted to. As friends. I know when things ended they weren't ideal."

"No, Alex, that's not it. It was fine. You had an opportunity to be a judge and I wanted you to take that. I would never have wanted to stand in your way. And it would have complicated things. We both know that."

"Speaking of complicated, I should probably get going. I'd hate for the defense attorney to get wind of an SVU judge spending late nights with the SVU Lieutenant." Alex smiled and got up.

Olivia laughed and walked Alex to the door. "Goodnight, Alex."

"Goodnight, Liv."


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

 _ **Three and a half years ago.**_

" _Mmmm, Liv?" Alex moaned as Olivia sat next to her on the couch, working her magic tongue around Alex's neck._

" _Mhm?" Olivia said, never removing her mouth from Alex._

" _We need to talk," Alex barely got out. She was turned on, and the last thing she wanted to do was talk, but she knew they needed to._

" _Don't worry, Alex, I won't leave any marks. I know you have court tomorrow," Olivia mumbled before laying Alex down on the couch and pressing their lips together, edging her tongue into Alex's mouth. Olivia figured that was the best way for them to have less talking and more of what they both wanted._

 _Alex relented for a minute. She was enjoying their make-out session. It had been about a week since they saw each other due to their busy schedules. Alex was now working as an Assistant US Attorney and had been for a couple of years. It had allowed Olivia and Alex to be less careful about their relationship, although it was still more of an occasional fling when they had the time, rather than dating._

 _Olivia straddled Alex, putting pressure on Alex's center, and slipped her hand underneath Alex's shirt. "You know, we could take this to the bedroom?" Olivia whispered in Alex's ear._

 _Alex whimpered but was able to get enough strength to speak again. "That sounds good, Liv, but we still need to talk."_

 _Olivia didn't stop what she was doing. "Talking" for them usually ended with one or both of them in tears. It was always the same, too. 'What are we doing?' 'Should we try dating again?' 'What if someone found out?' 'What does our future look like?' Olivia was tired of the same questions that they both asked each other anytime their fooling around became more of a habit. Lately, it had become a habit, and Olivia had been waiting for the other shoe to drop._

 _She did love, Alex. And wanted to be with her more than anything, but at the same time, a relationship had never worked out for them. Timing was always wrong. Olivia figured the best way she could hang on to Alex was by avoiding the conversation that always had the same inevitable outcome - that they shouldn't be doing this._

" _Did you hear me, Liv?" Alex whispered._

 _Olivia slipped her hand down Alex's pants and began to lightly rub between Alex's legs, slowly pulling her panties back. Alex moaned when Olivia made contact with her core. She was already wet._

" _Still want to talk, Alex?" Olivia teased and slipped in finger inside Alex._

" _Fuck, Liv! Please," she begged._

" _Please, what? Please, more? Tell me what it is, Alex?" Olivia assumed Alex was begging for more contact._

 _Alex wasn't. She was pleading to talk._

" _I'm planning to run for the open judge seat at the Manhattan courthouse," Alex just blurted it out._

 _Olivia froze, finger still inside Alex as she hovered mere centimeters away from Alex's lips._

" _You're what?!"_

" _I said, I'm planning to run for a judgeship," Alex said again more slowly than the first time._

 _Olivia immediately pulled her hands from Alex and moved off of her, sitting at the end of the couch. Alex sat up._

" _Well? Are you going to say anything? What do you think" Alex's voice was scared and quiet._

" _Well, I think I wish you would have told me that over dinner." Olivia wasn't sure what to think. She knew Alex being back working for the city, and in her borough at that, definitely meant they couldn't, or, at least, shouldn't, be doing what they were just doing - especially if Alex was a judge!_

" _I know. I'm sorry. I couldn't figure out the best time to tell you."_

" _And you thought_ _ **that**_ _was the best time to tell me, Alex? Jesus Christ! I'm pretty sure you couldn't have picked a worse time."_

 _Tears started forming in Alex's eyes. She knew Liv was right. She did pick a terrible time to tell her, but Olivia was also the person she trusted and loved the most in the world. She had hoped to get more support from her._

" _I'm sorry. You're right. I should have told you sooner when it first came up."_

" _What do you mean, 'when it first came up?' How long have been considering this, Alex?" Olivia was hurt now. Sure, she was surprised by Alex blurting it out, but more because of the inopportune time than because she was surprised Alex wanted to be a judge. She knew Alex always had political aspirations; they had often talked about them. That's why it hurt her that Alex had been keeping something so important from her. Even if they weren't dating and were just fooling around, she still considered Alex her best friend._

 _Alex looked away before answering. "About a month." She immediately saw the look of hurt and perhaps even a hint of betrayal in Olivia's face and felt the need to explain. "Listen, Liv. I wanted to tell you, I did, but at first, it just seemed like a crazy idea, a pipe dream. It wasn't until I spent the last couple of weeks talking to Uncle Bill about it that it seemed like something I could do."_

 _That explained why Alex had been busier than normal lately, Olivia thought._

" _And, maybe it still is a crazy idea, I don't know," Olivia realized Alex was still talking and trying to explain. She was kind of cute when she got flustered. "I mean, I'm not a spring chicken anymore, but I would still be one of the younger judges in the city, and I've only been with my job at the US Attorney's office a couple of years. So, I mean, the likelihood of me actually winning would be small. And, of course, going through the campaigning process would just be a nightmare."_

" _Stop, Alex," Olivia said quite loud. Alex stared at her afraid of what Olivia was about to say. Of course, Olivia only stopped her because she saw the wheels of doubt and insecurity spinning in Alex's head like she was trying to talk herself out of it or convince herself it wasn't important to her. Olivia knew damn well that it was._

" _Alex, don't do that to yourself. You are ready," Olivia said before taking Alex's hands in hers to reassure her. "I mean, you're one of the best attorney's this city has had, and you're one of the best at the US Attorney's office now. Of course, you're doing this because you will win, and you will do great."_

" _You're not mad?" Alex asked._

" _Mad? Of course not, Alex. This is important to you, and I am here to support you in that because I love you." The words brought silence and a slight blush to both of them for a moment. They did love each other, but they avoided the expression because of fear the other would think they wanted to be serious again. Which, of course, they did, but as wise as they had gotten with age, they were still complete chicken shit when it came to each other._

" _I mean, you've definitely got my vote," Olivia teased as a way to lighten the mood from her slip of words._

" _You're just saying that because you're trying to get in my pants." Alex welcomed the teasing from Olivia and bantered back with her._

" _Uh, Alex, I don't know if you know this or not, but," Olivia put her arms around Alex and lightly ran her tongue over Alex's ear. "I usually don't need to say much of anything to get in your pants." She then lightly bit Alex's neck._

 _Alex groaned and pushed Olivia away before teasing her back. "Just for that, you're definitely not getting in them tonight!"_

 _Alex got up and sauntered off to the bedroom shutting the door. They both knew she was joking, but putting the moment of space in between them before Olivia eventually joined her in the bedroom was something they both needed._

 _Olivia sat back on the couch and sighed. "Talking...always leads to heartbreak," she whispered to herself._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This is a pretty long chapter, but it's rewarding. We get some more backstory, via a drunk Olivia and Barba.

I love the reviews. Keeping letting me know what you think. Glad you are enjoying!

* * *

CHAPTER 5

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Come in," Alex said from her desk, not looking up from her work.

"Judge Cabot? May I get just a moment of your time?" Casey carefully came through the door and gave Alex a smile.

"Please, Casey. We're in my office, not court, and hopefully about to have a _friendly_ conversation. You don't need to call me Judge; Alex will suffice," Alex told her.

"Well, you never know. Sometimes moving up the political ladder can change people," she grinned, and the two ladies shared a laugh. Alex and Casey weren't _close_ friends, but they still considered the other a friend all the same. They had done girls nights out with Olivia and others before but didn't generally spend a lot of time together.

"I take it you're here about the Blackley case? Casey, I've already signed off on the warrant. They had enough to justify it."

"Barely," Casey mumbled.

"Well, either way, it was my decision, and I limited it in scope," Alex explained.

"Fine. It was worth a shot." Casey started to leave.

"That's it?" Alex expected more of an argument from Casey. "I got the impression you were going to be a little more upset today. I hope you haven't lost your touch, Casey, because I was looking forward to seeing you go up against Barba in court."

"No, I haven't lost my touch. I've just learned when to pick my battles," Casey turned back to leave, before stopping at the door. "By the way, what, or should I say, _**who**_ , gave you the impression that I was going to be upset about it?"

Casey smirked at Alex, who's eyes widened realizing what she had inadvertently revealed.

Alex regained her composure and put her serious face back on. "I may have run into Lt. Benson in the courthouse yesterday. She just mentioned to expect a visit."

"Lt. Benson, huh? Yeah, whatever you say, Alex," Casey chuckled and finally left Alex's office.

Alex leaned back in her chair and let out a loud sigh before turning back to her work. She was not looking forward to presiding over this case.

Casey, on the other hand, had a mischievous smirk on her face. She was definitely going to enjoy this case.

#

"Look; it wasn't like that!" Jacob Blackley exclaimed from inside the interrogation room.

"Jacob, I'll do the talking," Casey warned.

"Well, he's going to have to start answering some questions. This is no longer a courtesy interview," Barba said. "I mean, you've already admitted to having sex with her."

"Consensual sex between two minors. She's just as guilty as he is, and we're prepared to file a countersuit," Casey jumped in with a bluff.

"Well, you're free to do that, but that doesn't get your client off the hook," Barba said looking at Casey before turning back to Jacob. "Jessica has a different story, Jacob. She says you pressured her, threatened her, and forced her to perform sexual acts on you."

"That's not true!" Jacob yelled again. He looked at Casey. "Why is she doing this to me? I love her."

"Jacob...," Casey warned again. She was getting nervous at his outbursts, even though she truly did believe in his innocence.

"So, what's your side of the story then, Jacob? Tell me about what led to the last encounter," Barba prodded.

Casey nodded, giving permission for her client to tell his side of the story that they had talked about.

"She came to my house because my parents weren't home. She told me she had a surprise for me," Jacob said slowly.

"What day was this?" Barba asked, taking notes.

"The 13th," Jacob said. "It was my birthday."

"You're birthday? How old are you now, Jacob?" Barba questioned.

"Jacob, don't say another word," Casey interrupted forcefully.

"Are you telling me your client is 17 now, and not 16?" Barba looked at Casey.

"This interview is over. Come on, Jacob," Casey said and pulled Jacob up.

"I wasn't done," Barba said.

"Well, unless you're charging my client with something, we're leaving," Casey said, pulling Jacob again toward the door. "Now!"

"Well, there goes your counterclaim, Counselor," Barba smirked at Casey on the way out.

Olivia watched Casey and Jacob walk out of the squad room before Barba walked over to her.

"What was that about? I thought he was going to cooperate," Olivia questioned.

"Turns out, he's 17, which is to our advantage here seeing as how he can't file a counterclaim against Jessica. However, I want to know how the hell your detectives missed this?" Barba asked, raising his eyebrows at what had just happened.

Olivia shot a look over to Rollins and Fin. "We're on it, LT," Rollins said as they headed for the door.

#

Jacob had indeed turned 17, a detail that Casey realized SVU had overlooked early on but felt no need to specifically state since they had access to that information. It definitely added more pressure to the defense, and Olivia was feeling good about having taken on the case, even though she still felt like Jessica was holding something back.

"Hey, Barba, here's that report you were looking for." Olivia had gone over to Barba's office to drop off some paperwork and find out if he needed any loose ends tied up before getting a court date set.

"Thanks, Liv. SVU did good work this week. I was certain this was headed for disaster," he said.

Olivia nodded, "Yeah, me, too."

"I was just heading out for dinner and a drink. Care to join me? I mean, unless you have to get home right away to Noah," Barba asked. They didn't go out for drinks often, especially with Olivia's schedule, but it had been a while. Olivia enjoyed seeing Barba away from work, where he relaxed a bit, if only slightly. She enjoyed how simple their friendship was and the trust they placed in each other. Even though they sparred at times, it was certainly less contentious than her relationship with some of their previous ADAs, especially Casey and Alex.

"Sure, let me just call Lucy and have her take Noah to Mrs. Peters," Olivia said pulling out her cell phone. Mrs. Peters lived across the hall and was always offering to watch Noah. She kept encouraging Olivia to go out and get a life. Olivia was certain she wouldn't mind.

Mrs. Peters didn't mind and was overjoyed that Olivia was taking an evening to herself.

#

"So, we're set to go to trial next week on the Blackley case," Barba said as they took their drinks and found a bar table.

Olivia nodded. "That's good, but I thought we were here to forget about work," she teased.

"You're right, you're right. Let's talk about some non-work things then. Tell me about Alex," he gave her a teasing smile.

"Ugh, really, Barba?" She rolled her eyes. She had a good idea now exactly why he wanted to go out for drinks.

"Oh, come on, Liv, we're friends. I mean, unless you've done something illegal. Then I don't want to know about it," he laughed as the server brought their appetizers out.

"Can I get you all anything else? Your food will be out shortly," the server asked.

"Another round?" Barba looked to Olivia. She nodded.

"I haven't had enough to drink to talk about, Alex," she told him while finishing off her glass of scotch.

"That bad, huh?"

Olivia sighed. She would never characterize her relationship with Alex as 'bad,' however, it wasn't exactly a pleasant memory for her. It wasn't a bad memory either; it just still hurt sometimes.

"I wouldn't call it bad. The only thing that was ever bad about us was our timing," she said and nodded thanks to the server when he returned with their drinks.

Barba just sat and listened. Olivia hadn't had much of a love life, to his knowledge, since he had known her, but he had heard enough rumors. He knew that in the past she had been quite the lady-killer and that the same charms had worked on men, too. He was enjoying watching her squirm like this.

"We obviously met when she was assigned to SVU. And, as inappropriate as it was, we had a near immediate attraction," Olivia continued.

"Near?"

"Well, of course, we hated her at first," she smirked.

"Of course," Barba chuckled.

"We got into a particularly bad argument during a case, Eric Plummer. It was the first time that our attacks on each other had turned somewhat personal. She pissed me off, and I stormed out. After the case, when I was proven right, mind you, she came to my apartment to apologize."

"How did that go?"

"Well, she woke up in my bed the next morning, so I'd say it went pretty well. I mean, you've never apologized to me like that," Olivia joked, and Barba laughed. She wasn't flirting, and he knew that, too. Their relationship was as platonic as any relationship could be, which is why it made it even more funny to think about.

"HA! Well, first, I would need to have something to apologize for. Haven't you figured out by now that I'm always right?" He smirked, and Olivia rolled her eyes. "So, how did you two get from an apology to bed?"

"Alex's apologies are never quite apologies. They're more of her doing the lawyer thing to make her case and justify her actions; I called her out on it," she paused for another drink. "That also didn't go over so well. We ended up in each other's face, again, and in a moment of weakness, I think we both realized the tension between us and kissed."

"So, it was just sex then?"

"At first. I mean, of course, we tried to pretend it never happened," Olivia explained. "That didn't work long, though. The more we ignored it, the more the tension grew, until we gave in again...and again. We rationed it out that if it were just sex, no relationship or feelings, then it wouldn't affect work."

Barba nodded and rolled his eyes.

"Eventually, we grew to care about each other. Well, I mean, we already did, but it wasn't until after a particularly bad case for Alex that we acknowledged it. Sam Cavanaugh. She got suspended for a month over that one. I saw how much she was hurting and how much guilt she felt over the boy. She had been out of control, and it created a lot of strain at work leading up to the trial. But when it was over, despite her actions that could have got me and Elliot fired, I knew I cared deeply for her because I didn't care about what she had done; I was only concerned about how she was doing. So, I went to her and told her how I felt."

"And she felt the same?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, she did. I stayed with her that night and comforted her. It was the first time we ever slept together without have sex. Over the next month, while she was suspended, we actually took the time to explore a relationship. It worked well because we didn't have the immediate pressures of work on us."

Their server brought their food and another round of drinks.

"Long story, short - we began dating, secretly of course. We wanted to make sure it was the real thing before making any disclosures since we knew one of us would have to be transferred. And it was real," Olivia said.

"So, I don't understand. Why didn't you eventually disclose, or did you break up?"

Olivia took a deep breath and another drink. Before she could speak, Barba spoke up again.

"Oh, Velez happened," Barba said apologetically. Olivia nodded. "So, you weren't allowed to go in Witness Protection with Alex, or you didn't want to?"

Olivia opened her mouth to speak before realizing she didn't have any words. She sighed. "It was Alex's decision. I understood it, and I know it was to protect me, but..." She trailed off.

"It sucked," Barba said. It was possibly the only time Olivia had ever heard Barba use a word like sucks. She nodded.

"She came back for the Connors trial and subtly let me know she had moved on with someone else. Or at least, was trying to tell me to move on. At the time, I thought naively that once Conners was put away, she would be able to leave the program. She wasn't. In fact, they moved her to a new identity, and she left without even saying goodbye."

"That had to hurt," Barba said, and Olivia nodded. "I remember that case. Actually, what I mostly remember was how pissed off Casey was at you and Stabler for arresting Connors for murder when you knew Alex was alive."

Olivia chuckled. "Yeah, not our best moment. But we had our reasons."

"No, I get it. You did it to protect Alex. Did Stabler know?"

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, he was the only one. It was hard to keep it from him once we started actually dating. He was a good detective."

"How did that affect your relationship with Casey after that? Not trusting her and all," Barba asked.

Olivia laughed again and smirked. "Oh, Casey. Well, it definitely made it more uh, complicated, that's for sure."

"I get a feeling there is a story there?" Barba questioned.

"Let's finish talking about Alex. I'll need more to drink before we talk about Casey."

Olivia proceeded to tell Barba the rest of her Alex story. How Alex returned from Witness Protection only to avoid her and Stabler for three years. How she never returned calls. How she got engaged to some man named Robert, but apparently never married. How when she finally returned to SVU, she didn't have a good explanation for her absence. How she and Olivia somehow ended up back in bed together for a few months before she suddenly decided to leave for the Congo...again without telling Olivia before she found out from a witness.

Things were never the same after Alex returned from Witness Protection. Olivia had been angry. Not that she left; Olivia understood that. But that when she returned, she didn't reach out, even if just as a friend. By the time Alex left the second time, for the Congo, Olivia had been devastated. She had been careful with her feeling with Alex while they were sleeping together this go round but was blindsided by Alex leaving again.

"So when she returned..." Barba said, but it was more of a question for Olivia to fill in.

"She returned as Stabler left. So, as angry as I was with her for leaving, I needed her to some degree. When she returned, we fell back into our old habits, with the exception of the fact that I put up a wall that I would never let her come through again," Olivia paused. "That went on, off and on, until she decided to run for a judgeship."

"So, you had no problems sleeping together while she was your ADA, but not when she became a judge?" Barba asked in an amused tone.

"I know, it doesn't make sense. I think we just both grew up and matured enough to realize that if we were just having sex, then our careers weren't worth the risk. We struggled with what we were doing a lot over the years. That seemed to be the final line that we weren't willing to cross."

The server came to get pick up their empty plates. "Another round of drinks?" He asked.

"I really should get going," Olivia protested.

"Oh, but you still owe me a Casey story," Barba teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled. "I guess we're having another round." Neither of them could remember the last time they had this much to drink. Olivia was suddenly grateful that Mrs. Peters had insisted on taking Noah all night since he had an early bedtime. They agreed it would be best to let him sleep through the night.

"Okay, before you start, I have to ask, do you sleep with all the SVU ADAs? Obviously, excluding myself since you're not my type, and I'm obviously not yours," Barba laughed.

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "Not all of them."

"But, Casey?"

Olivia hesitated but only for a moment. "Once. No, wait, maybe twice. There was one time in her office when we got interrupted."

"Her what?! You mean like, MY office?"

"No, it was a different office then, Counselor," Olivia assured him.

"Thank, God, or I'd never be able to look at you the same, Olivia Benson."

"We were drunk," Olivia said after a few moments.

"No, I think we are drunk," Barba corrected her.

"No, I mean Casey and me. When we slept together, not in her office," Olivia explained herself.

"Okay, first, I need you to never ever mention you and Casey and her office again. That also goes for Alex, too," he warned. Olivia got a big grin on her face when he mentioned Alex and office sex. Barba noticed. "Gross. Okay, so how did Casey come about and why just the uh, one uninterrupted time."

"We had a hard case, and she invited me over for drinks and a movie like we had done a number of times. Except this time, was after the Connors trial, and we had just got back on decent terms after the 'Alex not really being dead' thing. She got pretty drunk, we both did actually, but not enough that we weren't aware of what was happening."

Barba nodded. He knew Olivia was trying to explain away drunk sex to him because of their jobs.

"Anyway, Casey sometimes is an angry drunk. She was going on about how I didn't trust her, and how she always felt like she was competing with Alex's ghost, only to find out Alex wasn't even dead. She made some comment about how if she didn't know any better, she'd think me and Alex had been sleeping together, which caused me to blush. Even in her drunk state, she realized something was up. She proceeded to tell me how when we first met, she had been attracted to me, thought maybe there was something between us, and so on, but that now she understood why it never worked."

"And was there something between you?"

Oliva thought for a minute. "Yes and no. I mean, I found her attractive and I enjoyed time with her, but again, she was our ADA, and of course, there was Alex, who I was still hoping every day would return. So, yes, there was a chemistry there, but not like with Alex."

"Got it. Then what happened."

"I tried to reason with her, told her I was also attracted to her. Apologized for Alex. Told her I also had wondered if there was something there, even if I had still been hung up on Alex. Of course, at that particular time, I was angry with Alex for leaving without saying goodbye," Olivia sighed and continued.

"All the while, we had moved closer to each other on the couch. Finally, she mentioned the day in her office that had recently happened," Olivia said, and Barba grimaced. "Sorry, part of the story. Anyway, we had never talked about it after it um, almost, happened. She suggested maybe we finish what we started and see if anything was there. I agreed by kissing her."

"So, it was bad sex or what?" Barba asked. Olivia wasn't sure if she liked his bluntness or not after a few drinks. Not that he wasn't already blunt while sober.

"Oh, no. It was great sex. Even better than my first time with Alex. But, it was just sex...for both of us."

"So, that's it? You didn't try again?"

"Well, the next morning we started to, but I accidently said Alex's name when she was kissing me, and I was half asleep."

"Oh. Yeah, I'm sure that killed the mood," Barba said in amusement.

"Yep. She wasn't mad, though. I think she just realized that for her, as well as me, it was just a physical thing. We enjoyed the other's company, but it wouldn't go anywhere," Olivia said.

"And the fact that you were still in love with Alex?" He asked.

"Yeah, that, too," Olivia said, finishing off her drink and giving him a half-hearted smile before they paid the bill and went outside to hail a taxi home.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: We're going to jump ahead to the trial here.

* * *

CHAPTER 6

"Objection!" Casey yelled in the courtroom.

"On what grounds?" Barba turned around and looked at Casey. He had been questioning Dr. Hendrix on the stand.

"On the grounds that...," Casey started and thought better. "Approach, your honor?"

Judge Cabot motioned for Barba and Casey to come forward.

Casey began whispering. "Your honor, I object to this witness's testimony on the ground that it may be, um, biased toward the prosecution."

Rebecca Hendrix could overhear the conversation and took a breath.

"That's ridiculous, Your Honor. I'd never even met Dr. Hendrix before this case. For Ms. Novak to suggest otherwise...," Barba was making his case.

"I'm not talking about you; I'm talking about Lt. Benson," Casey's voice got even quieter.

"They went to Police Academy together, Casey. So what?" Barba said.

"He's right, Casey. I don't see how Lt. Benson and Dr. Hendrix having gone through academy together affects this. Hendrix has consulted on a number of cases for NYPD and SVU, even for you," Alex said.

"They were lovers," Casey said, again even quieter, as she looked Alex in the eyes. She was certain Alex had to know this piece of information from Olivia's life. She was wrong.

Barba jerked his head toward Casey and Alex's mouth dropped open. Dr. Hendrix put her head down in her hands.

"My chambers, now!" Alex yelled. "Bailiff, instruct everyone we'll resume tomorrow. And someone find me Lt. Benson!"

Olivia was just outside the courtroom, waiting for a break so she could check-in on the trial. She had a bad feeling about the trial. Over the past couple of weeks, she had grown to distrust their victim, Jessica, and believe Casey's assertion that her client was a pawn in something bigger. Of course, they didn't have any proof of that, and Barba had a lot of pressure to get this to trial because it was Judge Ramsey's daughter.

She heard Alex yell in the courtroom and knew that something bad had to be happening. Of course, she had no idea just what she was about to walk into.

"Lt. Benson, your presence is requested in Judge Cabot's chambers," a court officer came out and told Olivia.

Olivia walked into Alex's chambers to see Alex, Casey, Barba, and Rebecca. Alex was at her desk, and Casey and Barba were standing in front of it. Rebecca sat on the couch with her head in her hands.

"What kind of sideshow have you two brought into my courtroom?!" Alex was yelling at Casey and Barba.

Everyone turned their head to Olivia when she shut the door behind her. Alex shot her an icy look.

"What happened in there?" Olivia asked.

"Perhaps you and Dr. Hendrix can explain to me the nature of your relationship?" Alex said. Her tone was extremely short. Olivia's eyes widened as she looked over to Rebecca. Rebecca shrugged, telling Olivia to say what she needed to say.

"We have a professional relationship. I've known her since academy," Olivia began.

"Let me get to the point, _Lieutenant_ _Benson_. Have you and Dr. Hendrix at any point ever had a romantic or sexual relationship?" The tone of Alex's voice was familiar. Olivia had heard it thousands of time when Alex was in court, and also during many of their arguments over the years.

The guilty expression on Olivia's face gave her away. She was going to kill Casey Novak as soon as they got out of here, if they ever got out of here, that is.

"Olivia!" Barba yelled. "How did you not think this wasn't relevant?"

"Because it's not!" Olivia protested.

"I would say that you sleeping with our top witness is relevant," Barba snapped back.

"Counselor, we're not sleeping together. Olivia's right. It's in the past," Rebecca finally jumped in. "I reached out to her in a professional capacity, and I can assure you, I kept my code of ethics."

"Like you kept you professional ethics when you lost your privileges at Bellvue when you gave us medical information on Lindsay?" Casey interjected.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, Casey. You didn't seem to have any problems with it when you were prosecuting the case," Rebecca snapped back.

"Stop it, or I will hold you all in contempt!" Alex had had enough. "We just need to determine if Lt. Benson's um, _sex life_ , compromised the integrity of this witness." Alex was still giving the cold stare to Olivia.

"Alex, you know it didn't. And I don't see how this is anyone's business," Olivia was angry at what was taking place. She was upset with Casey for revealing her secret. She was upset with Barba for not having her back, and she was upset with Alex for acting like a jealous girlfriend.

"It's _Judge Cabot_ when we're in chambers, _Lt. Benson_ ," Alex snapped.

"I'm sorry, _Judge Cabot_. I don't like what you are implying." Now the cold stare was coming from Olivia.

"Listen, Judge Cabot. It's been at over three years since Olivia and I have been together. And even then was just a time or two. Before that was just after we graduated from police academy." Rebecca was trying to bring reason to the conversation.

 _Over three years?_ Alex thought. _So, Olivia must have run straight to Rebecca when they ended it. Or perhaps she was already in the picture_.

"She's right, Judge. There is nothing about the conversation and what was reported that was privileged that wasn't waived by Jessica's parents. Lt. Benson should have disclosed this information, but I can assure you, it didn't affect the investigation," Barba knew he needed Rebecca's testimony, even if he was pissed at Olivia for not telling him. He could tell Alex still was hesitating, though.

"Besides, if we really want to discuss conflicts of interest, Judge Cabot..." Barba stopped there because he knew Alex knew exactly where he was going.

"Another word like that from you, Mr. Barba, and I will throw your ass in jail for contempt!" Alex snapped at him.

Casey gave a small chuckle and a smirk and suddenly Rebecca realized what was going on.

"Oh my God, Olivia. How many people in this room _have_ you slept with?" Rebecca blurted out. She didn't mean to say it out loud, but it still came out.

Olivia froze as her face turned seven shades of red.

"Well, for the record, not me!" Barba piped up really quick.

Everyone else looked around to Olivia, then to Barba, then to Casey, who was sitting quiet and had also turned red.

"Un-fucking-believable," Alex said slowly.

Casey and Olivia dropped their heads while Barba was having a hard time containing his laughter due to the ridiculousness of the situation.

"When?" Alex finally asked after several quiet moments in the room.

"Al-, eh, Judge Cabot, I hardly think this conversation is appropriate for chambers," Olivia said.

"Oh, I think we're far beyond appropriate, _Olivia_ ," Alex shot back.

Suddenly, Alex's office phone rang. Alex answered it on speaker phone.

"What?" She snapped.

"We have a situation. We've evacuated most people from the courthouse, but those remaining are on lockdown," the voice on the phone said.

"Excuse me?" They all said in unison.

"The electronic sensors on the door are activated. Which means you won't be able to leave your office and the connecting room until we've secured the scene. Please don't try as there may be an active shooter in the building. There is no reason to believe he's on this floor or that you're in danger, but you need not to attempt to leave the room."

"How long?"

"We don't have an estimated time right now. We'll keep you updated," the voice said and then hung up.

Everyone let out a sigh. Casey and Barba sat in the chairs near them, while Olivia slumped down on the floor in the corner.

"So, Casey, since Olivia doesn't want to tell me, maybe you care to share when the two of you started fucking. Was it before or after I came back for the Connors case to save your asses?" Alex glanced at Olivia.

"I take it we're out of 'court-mode'? Casey asked. Alex nodded. "Fine. It was after. And it was only once. No, wait, twice."

"It was so memorable you forgot?" Alex spat.

"No. We were uh, interrupted," Casey said shyly.

"Interrupted? How were you interrupted?" Rebecca asked.

Casey and Olivia blushed, and Barba looked down at the floor, remembering his conversation with Olivia about it.

"You were in your office, weren't you? Oh, god, my old office. Good grief, Olivia, still can't keep it in your pants at work?" Alex said. She remembered the time or two when she and Olivia had taken advantage of some late evenings on her desk. The thought of Olivia and Casey on the same desk made her sick.

Barba got up and motioned toward the side room door.

"I think we'll give you two some privacy," he said, and Rebecca and Casey followed him out of the room.

Once they were gone, Olivia spoke.

"Alex, I can explain."

"Don't. Just don't."

#


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This one is a bit more sappy than funny. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this. Loving the reviews.

* * *

CHAPTER 7

In the adjacent room, Barba, Casey, and Rebecca plopped down on the couch and chairs.

"I can't believe the ridiculousness of this situation," Barba said.

"I can't believe that everyone in the NYPD and DA's office sleeps together," Rebecca said cheekily.

"Well, not all of us." Barba shot a smirk in Casey's direction.

"You didn't seem so surprised, Barba," Casey asked.

"Well, obviously, I didn't know about Rebecca, but Liv told me about your, eh, whatever it was."

"It wasn't anything. I mean, it was a one-night stand, as much as I would have liked more," Casey admitted.

"Why just the one night then? Olivia not want more?" Rebecca asked.

"We were drunk, and while we did have a certain chemistry, I wasn't Alex, and I was never going to be Alex," Casey looked toward Barba. "Did Olivia tell you exactly why it didn't work?"

"That she mumbled Alex's name?" Barba laughed. Casey nodded and laughed, too.

"Oh my god, that happened to me, too. Except I didn't realize it at the time...and well, it was during sex," Rebecca said.

"Seriously?!" Casey and Rebecca said.

"Yeah, it was last time we were together, although that wasn't the reason. I mean, it was casual for us, and it had been years. I had no room to be jealous. She made some excuse that it was an ex-boyfriend, and I never put it together, even though I'd met Cabot before," Rebecca explained.

"So, wait a minute, if Olivia is so hung up on Alex, and clearly Alex is hung up on her, why the hell aren't they together?" Barba asked.

"They're both stubborn as fuck," Casey said. She had gotten up and started digging through a cabinet, prying a locked cabinet open. "I mean, you've met them, right."

"I guess you're right," Barba said, and Rebecca nodded.

Casey reached into the cabinet and pulled out a bottle of bourbon and some glasses.

"What the?" Barba asked. "How did you know?"

"Judge Jackson had a drinking problem, and I may have used that knowledge to my advantage a few times," Casey smirked as she poured them all a glass. She then got up and walked back toward Alex's chambers.

"Where are you going?" Rebecca asked.

"Well, I figured if any of us need a drink, it's those two," Casey said before exiting.

#

Back in the other room, Alex and Olivia had sat in silence for a long time before they heard a light knock.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I thought you two could use a drink," Casey said, handing over a couple of glasses and a new bottle.

"Do I even want to know?" Alex asked, looking strangely at the booze being handed to her.

"Everyone has secrets, Alex, even Judges," Casey said before leaving the room again.

Alex took the bottle and poured her and Olivia a drink.

"So, where do you want me to start, Alex? Casey or Rebecca?"

Alex drank her glass of bourbon is two quick drinks before pouring herself some more.

"Casey. When did it start? I mean, I know both of you, and you didn't just decided to have sex one night," Alex said.

"You're right, kind of. I mean, when it happened, we were both drunk and that played a role," Olivia said before finishing her drink and pushing it toward Alex to refill. "After you left for Witness Protection, I was devastated. I mean, I knew you were alive, and I spent months just waiting for you to walk through the squad room. But you didn't. I was such a bitch to Casey when she arrived. She worked so hard in an impossible situation. Everything she did, I compared to you."

Olivia paused before continuing. "Eventually, I realized she was being a really good friend to me. She cared about me, and I finally relented enough to let her in. Spending time with Casey was the first time I had felt like a human being since you left, but I couldn't allow myself to acknowledge I may care for her, too."

"Did you?"

"I did. I mean, I think she had stronger feelings for me, but I did care about her," Olivia answered.

"What changed?"

"Honestly, you happened...again," Olivia said. Alex looked at her intently. "When you came back, first I realized that we had fucked with Casey by not telling her before arresting Connors. I felt guilty about that, but it was for you. So, I was torn. Anyway, that night we spent together..." Olivia trailed off.

Alex smiled. She remembered that night. She cherished that night. It felt so good to be with Olivia and touch her again.

"You told me about the guy you - well, Emily - was dating. I heard you telling me to move on," Olivia said.

"I was. I felt guilty because I could see you were putting your life on hold, and I had no idea when we could be together again," Alex told her.

Olivia nodded. "I understood that, but I didn't understand when you left again without saying goodbye. I was hurt, so I reacted. In my mind, you had sent a clear message. You had moved on, and you wanted me to move on."

Alex nodded. "I hadn't really moved on, but I knew it wasn't fair to you."

"So after Connors, I tried to push you out of my mind. To stop waiting for you, because I thought you obviously weren't waiting for me. So I allowed myself to begin feeling, and that happened to be with Casey. It was so much easier with Casey than it was with you."

Alex put her head down with a hurt look on her face.

"No, Alex, it's not what you think. It was easier because I didn't love Casey. I didn't care as much, and I didn't feel as much. She never affected me the same way you did. I mean, sure we had our moments, but it was different. She was good for me, though; so we became friends."

Alex smiled.

"I guess the tension was building because we were fighting in her -your- office one day. I guess we got a little too close, and she kissed me. I pulled away at first, but it felt good, and I kissed her back. I kissed her hard, and I liked it. We made out on her desk until there was a knock at the door. After that, the tension was just hard to avoid. We went out for drinks one night, and ended up in bed. I'm sorry, Alex."

"It's okay. I mean, well, I'm not okay, but I understand it. You had every right to move on. I just didn't expect it to be with the woman who took over my life at work. I mean, hearing that, knowing that I already was jealous when I returned of what Casey had here and I didn't, and know to know that she had _everything_ I had, it just hurt," Alex explained. "Why didn't it work out with Casey?"

"She wasn't you."

"Olivia, come on."

"I'm serious, Alex. I think maybe I wanted her to be, and expected that, but it wasn't the same," Olivia said and then finished another glass. She then smiled.'

"What's so funny?" Alex asked.

"The exact moment both of us knew it wouldn't work was the morning after."

"That soon?"

"I called her Alex in bed," Olivia said as Alex's mouth dropped open.

#


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Yep, more talking.

* * *

CHAPTER 8

" _I called her Alex in bed," Olivia said as Alex's mouth dropped open._

"You what?!" Alex exclaimed.

"Oh, don't act so shocked, Alex," Olivia smirked. "It's not like you weren't good at making me scream it."

Alex blushed. "Fine. I can accept Casey. I don't like it, but I guess I don't have any room to complain," Alex sighed. "But Rebecca? How did I not know about her and Casey did? And did you just run straight to her after our, um, last time together?"

Alex's voice was rising when she got to asking about Rebecca. Olivia didn't have a really good answer for her either.

"Like I said, we met in academy, we dated, we broke up, and she left the force to become a psychiatrist," Olivia explained.

"And you never thought to mention once to me that you all dated?" Alex snapped.

"Alllex," Olivia whined. "We never talked specifically about everyone we'd dated. I mean, I never asked you to give me your list."

"Yeah, but we never worked with any of them. I mean, God, Olivia, we went to dinner with Rebecca a time or two when we were dating. You didn't think maybe it was important?"

"NO, I didn't. I mean, it wasn't just us. It's not like she knew we were dating. And besides, it was ancient history," Olivia defended herself.

"Ancient history? So ancient history that you apparently jumped into her bed as soon as you left me?"

Olivia lost it when Alex said that and yelled. "What do you mean _**I left you**_? You're the one that is the expert at leaving, Alex, or did you forget?! I simply gave you the option, and once again, you chose the job over me!"

"How dare you?!"

#

"Oh, shit," Casey said. "This was not part of the plan. No, no, no."

In the next room, Barba, Casey, and Rebecca got quiet as they could hear the screaming coming from the other room.

"What do you mean part of the plan?" Barba asked suspiciously. Casey didn't say anything.

"Oh my god, you set this up, didn't you?" Barba said.

"No, not entirely. But yes, I did provoke it."

"Why did you draw me into this then?" Rebecca asked.

"Sorry, collateral damage?" Casey said apologetically.

"So, I've heard about these fights? Are we going to need to go into break this up?" Barba asked. Casey and Rebecca laughed.

"No, they'd be more likely to go at it on the floor in there before they'd actually hurt each other," Casey said.

"Well, I'd say that's comforting, but I can't say it makes me feel any better to have to hear what comes out of _that_ ," Barba smirked.

The three of them, already pretty buzzed, began giggling.

"You're kind of evil, Casey," Rebecca said.

"I know, but listen, I had to deal with the aftermath of Alex leaving the first time, and second time. Then I had to work with them both for a while. Trust me when I say that nothing short of something like this would get them to wake up."

"Please tell me you didn't have anything to do with the lockdown?" Barba said.

"No. That was just a happy accident. Except of course the part about us being trapped in here, too," Casey laughed.

#

"How dare I? You need to get over yourself, Alex. So I ran out and had a short fling with someone else after _you_ left me? So what? It's not like we were even dating, and haven't dated since WitSec," Olivia yelled back at Alex.

"You think I wanted to leave you for Witness Protection? I didn't have a choice!"

"No, you didn't. I understood that, and I waited for you...until you left again. And even then, Alex, I still hoped for the day you walked back into my life. But you didn't, did you? No, you got out of Witness Protection, moved back to the city and just disappeared. No even one single fucking phone call. I had to read about your engagement in the newspaper. That was a _real_ treat," Olivia shot back at Alex. "Never mind the rumor mill of you fucking around with the attorneys under you."

Alex took a deep breath. She was angry, but she also knew Olivia was right about her not calling after she returned to the city.

#

"Alex was engaged?! To who?" Barba asked.

"Some wall street tycoon named Robert something or other. It was while she was Bureau Chief of Homicide. When she came back, she was a very different Alex Cabot than when she left," Casey explained. "It's the only way she would even be with a douche-nozzle like Robert. Or Jim Steele for that matter."

"Jim Steele?" Barba was surprised.

"Yep. Someone saw them getting it on on her desk one night, right before she got engaged," Casey laughed. "Seems like Olivia isn't the only one who likes getting frisky on office desks."

They all giggled again.

#

"You're right, Olivia. I've not been perfect. I should have called you. It's just, I wasn't me. I don't know who I was," Alex's tone was defeated.

"And I would have understood that Alex. You were always my friend first. I would have been there for you and helped you," Olivia said.

"I know that, Olivia, but you know, you weren't the only devastated one when I had to leave...both times. I lost my entire life. My family. My friends. My job. The person I was in love with," Alex sighed. "I had to compartmentalize everything. Part of Alex Cabot died on that street. I wasn't the same, and I didn't think you could possibly love the new Alex Cabot."

"How can you say that? I mean, we've been together since then. A lot."

"Yes, and it's never been the same, has it, Liv? I mean, for once, we had the opportunity to be together openly, and neither of us could commit to it."

Olivia looked down. She knew Alex was right. It hadn't been the same.

"And I get it, Liv. I left you, multiple times. I left you for WitSec, twice. I left you for the Congo. But how long do I have to be punished for that? I mean, it's not like I just up and left you."

"WitSec, I understood. I even understood the Congo to some degree, except not talking to me. It's just every time you come back; we have to start all over. And then, there's this - you being a judge."

"Liv, we did talk about that one, though! You told me to go for it! You're the one that even brought up the fact that we couldn't keep doing what we were doing."

"You're right. I encouraged you because I loved you, Alex."

"Loved?" Alex immediately caught the past tense of the word and tears began to form in her eyes.

"Alex, I didn't mean...," Olivia sighed. "I don't know what I meant. I guess, I just wanted you to choose me for once - to fight for us. To ignore the 10,000 reason why we shouldn't be together, and focus on the one that we should."

"And what about you, Olivia? When did you ever tell me you wanted more?"

Olivia hung her head in guilt.

"Liv, I assumed by the way you acted that I had hurt you so badly that you'd never want more from me, and when you never pushed the issue, I just went along with it."

"And I assumed if you wanted more from me, you would make me a priority. I was afraid, Alex."

"So was I, but I never stopped loving you, Olivia. I still love you."

Olivia took a deep breath.

"I still love you, too, Alex."


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

 _In the adjacent room._

"Yes!"

"Dammit, Liv!"

"57 minutes. Pay up, bitches!" Casey said to Barba and Rebecca.

"Ugh, I hate you," Barba said.

"Well, Liv is better than I thought she was, but I still figured she'd, at least, hold out longer," Rebeca said.

 _In Alex's Chambers._

"What the heck was that?" Liv said. "You don't think?"

Olivia and Alex got up and went to the room where the others were.

"Did you guys?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, I think they did," Alex quipped.

Casey, Barba, and Rebecca all had guilty looks on their face. They were busted for their drunken bet over how long it would take both Alex and Olivia to tell each other they loved them.

"Hey, it worked didn't it?" Casey smirked. "Although, I admit that I was a little worried during all the screaming."

Olivia and Alex looked down, embarrassed. "Yeah, we're sorry about that," Olivia said.

"Oh, come on. As it turns out, I'm not the only one who has heard you scream Alex's name before," Casey teased.

"Again, not me!" Barba interjected.

Alex's mouth dropped open. She moved closer to Olivia and whispered. "Rebecca, too?"

Olivia nodded and smirked at Alex.

"So, you've all been over here making drunken bets on us?" Alex said.

"Pretty much," Barba told her.

"Yes, and as you heard, Casey won," Rebecca said.

"That I did. Though, if it hadn't been for my victory outburst, I probably could have won the second bet," Casey grinned.

"Second bet?" Alex asked.

"Whether or not you all would just go at it in there," Casey teased.

"Oh my God, Casey!" Alex yelled.

"Apparently I missed out on all the fun by leaving the NYPD," Rebecca laughed.

"Apparently I wasn't invited to the fun," Barba said sarcastically.

"Well, Barba, if you'd also like a chance to hear me scream Alex's name, we can always go next door," Olivia teased and gave him a wink.

"Olivia!" Alex yelled and hit her.

The room burst out in laughter.

After another half hour, several glasses of alcohol, and too many stories later, the phone finally rang.

"Cabot."

"Your honor, the building is clear. You are all free to leave."

On the way out, Alex pulled Olivia to the side.

"Come back to my place?" Alex whispered.

"Oh, I'd like to, but Noah," Olivia said and saw Alex's face drop. "But, you can come with me."

Alex nodded, and they walked out of the courthouse, barely brushing hands.

#

"So, now that we're less drunk, how are you feeling?" Alex asked after Olivia had put Noah down for bed.

"Besides the headache?" Olivia joked and then reached into the fridge to grab them both some bottled water.

"In all seriousness, I'm feeling like I wished we'd have gotten locked in your office years ago," Olivia said with a soft smile.

"What do we do?" Alex asked.

"What do you want?" Olivia deflected. She was afraid.

"I want you," Alex said, moving closer to where Olivia was sitting on the couch.

"I want you, too, Alex. But how do we do this - us? I mean, how do we do it the right way?" Olivia put her hand on Alex's hand.

"We disclose. After this trial, that is," Alex said quickly.

"Will you have to leave criminal court, Alex? You just got transferred there. I don't want you to have to give up -" Olivia started before Alex cut her off.

"Liv, stop. Don't keep doing this. I don't care what they do with me. Yes, they could move me, but as long as I'm not presiding over SVU cases, there shouldn't be any justifiable conflict of interest. As long as our bosses know, and I don't sign off on any of your warrants, we can make it work, Olivia," Alex was pleading.

"Okay, that sounds, um, reasonable," Olivia said. "Why didn't we think of this before?"

"Because neither of us was being honest about what we wanted?" Alex replied.

"Are you sure, Al? That this is what you want?" Olivia asked. "I mean, things are different. I'm different. And there is Noah."

"I've never been more sure of anything, Liv. And I've wasted too much of my life, of our life, to second guess it or let fear control me," Alex said before pausing. "Are you sure this is what you want? For you and for Noah?"

"More than anything, Alex. I do love you. I never stopped, as much as I tried. I'm so sorry I hurt you with my actions. But yes, I want this. I want us. I want us to be for real this time. No leaving. No fears. Just you, me, and Noah, together."

Alex leaned forward and kissed Olivia before whispering.

"Come to bed? I haven't heard you scream my name in far too long," Alex said.

"Well, we should do something about that, Judge Cabot," Olivia teased.

"Call me that again, and I'll hold you in contempt!" Alex shot her a look.

"Oh, I'm counting on it," Olivia smirked as she pulled Alex into her bedroom.

* * *

A/N: So, I'm coming to the end. Right now I have one more chapter planned...unless you would like it to keep going, and I feel like I can. Let me know. Thanks so much for the reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Wow, thanks for the feedback on the status and reviews. I will continue with this. I have some places in mind to take it, and for the most part, keep it light and funny.

* * *

CHAPTER 10

Alex jolted awake to the sound of screaming. She reached for Olivia.

"Liv?"

"Shh, Alex. It's okay," Olivia said as she was moving from the bed. "It's just Noah. I'll be back in a bit." Olivia smiled at Alex and placed a kiss on her head before going to calm her son.

Alex laid in bed, still startled. She had forgotten completely about Noah. Olivia had the ability to make her forget anything and anyone else. A few moments later, though, she could hear sounds from the baby monitor near the bed.

" _Shhh, Noah. It's okay. Mamma is here. I got you."_

Alex smiled at how gentle Olivia was. She remembered the times Olivia had comforted from bad dreams after the Velez case, especially when she came home to testify at the Connors trial.

Over several minutes, the crying stopped, and Alex waited for Olivia to return to bed.

"I'm sorry, Alex," Olivia said.

"Sorry? Don't be sorry. He's your son. What were you going to do, let him cry?" Alex said. "I love you, and that includes Noah."

"I love you, too, Alex. But we better get back to sleep fast because who knows how long he'll stay asleep."

Noah did wake up; three more times to be exact. Each time, Olivia reminding Alex it was just Noah, before going to calm him.

"How did you sleep?" Olivia asked Alex the next morning.

"With you, I always sleep wonderfully," Alex smiled. She was lying. She knew it, and Olivia knew it but didn't say anything. Olivia knew Alex wasn't used to the sounds of babies waking up at night, but she appreciated Alex trying anyway.

Olivia smirked and raised her eyebrows to Alex, before kissing her on the head and getting out of bed. "I'll get the coffee on."

"Thanks, Liv. I need to go home after that to shower and change. Ugh, I completely forgot we have to finish this trial, too," Alex said.

Olivia nodded. "Well, Barba and Casey did text about potentially working out a deal on the two sides. Hopefully, that happens sooner rather than later."

"God, if they could do that, I would even think about forgiving them for yesterday," Alex quipped.

"Even Casey?" Olivia smirked.

"Well, Casey did sleep with my girlfriend, so she may need to do a little more work," Alex teased.

Olivia moved in and kissed Alex, before going to make the coffee.

#

At the courthouse later that morning, Olivia scanned the hall to find Barba.

"Please tell me you worked out a deal?" Olivia said as she walked up to them.

"We were just able to finalize it when everyone gets here. We'll meet in conference room #1 in 10 minutes," Barba said. "So, what about you? How did the rest of your night go? Did you and Alex work out a _deal_?"

Olivia rolled her eyes at Barba's lame attempt at a joke. She just smirked at him.

"I'll take that as a yes," Barba teased. "It's too bad we're working out a deal since I guess Judge Cabot may have actually been in a good mood today."

"Stop it. You're terrible," Olivia said. "There's Casey. Let's go finish this case out."

#

"And all parties have agreed to this?" Alex asked in her chambers. Barba and Casey nodded in agreement.

"Okay, well, I guess we're done," Alex replied. "Except you, Casey."

"Uh oh, Red. I'm out of here," Barba said.

"No, stay, Barba. I want you to hear this too, just in case," Alex said.

Barba and Casey took a deep breath.

"I hopefully won't be trying SVU cases much longer, but I could see some of your clients, Casey. That said, if either of you _ever_ uses mine or Olivia's personal life against me in court again, I will hold you in contempt without warning, and I will put you in jail. Understood?" Alex was serious, and they knew both knew it.

Casey and Barba just nodded.

"You're excused now," Alex said.

Casey and Barba got up to leave and headed to the door.

"Oh, and Casey," Alex said as Casey was about to exit. "Thank you,"

Both women gave a knowing smile. Alex knew Casey had gotten under her skin on purpose, and she knew why. It didn't make it okay, but Alex would be lying if she didn't admit she was grateful for the outcome of yesterday.

"Everything go okay in there?" Olivia asked when Barba came out.

"Yeah, except I have a feeling your girlfriend be a judge is going to make you even more obnoxious," he laughed and walked off.

Olivia was confused but figured Alex must have said something to them about her. She smiled.

#

Staying at Olivia's quickly became a habit for Alex. They both knew they were new in the relationship again, but they had wasted so much time that neither of them ever wanted to be apart again. They couldn't stay at Alex's because of Noah, and Alex was okay with that. She liked Olivia's apartment, and she liked spending time with Noah as well.

"Can you believe this, Liv? I mean, we're finally together, and it doesn't matter who knows," Alex said as they went to bed.

"I know," she placed a light kiss on Alex's head. "And, neither of us had to sacrifice too much, aside from you hearing SVU cases."

"Mmmmhmmm," Alex nodded. She was nuzzled to Olivia's neck and attempting to kiss it, but Olivia knew Alex was about to fall asleep.

"Alex, it's okay. Just get some sleep tonight. I know you haven't been sleeping much," Olivia said. Before she could finish, Alex was already asleep. Olivia got up and moved the baby monitor closer to her, turning down the volume to just loud enough that she would be able to hear of Noah cried, but hopefully not so loud it would wake Alex again.

After the third time Noah woke up that night, Olivia found Alex on the couch reading a book.

"Alex, what are you doing?"

"It's okay. I couldn't go back to sleep, and we have to be up in a couple of hours. I decided to take advantage of the time," Alex replied.

"You know, I wouldn't be offended if wanted to stay at your place some of the time. I know you're exhausted Alex, and I know it's because of Noah," Olivia said. She felt bad because she knew Alex wasn't used to this still.

"Liv, I said I wanted you, and that includes Noah. And yes, I am exhausted, but I'll get used to it."

"Suit yourself, Alex, but don't think I didn't hear about you nodding off in court the other day," Olivia teased, although the story was true.

"You did not hear about that?!"

"I did, Alex. Listen, go home tonight. Get a good night's sleep, and we'll figure this out, I promise," Olivia said.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Short chapter I wanted to get out tonight. More tomorrow night.

* * *

CHAPTER 11

Alex took Olivia's advice and went home. Noah had a play date with another kid and mom, so Alex decided to invite Casey over for dinner.

"So what's up, Alex? You didn't just invite me over for a social call. Listen, I'm really sorry about all of that stuff -" Alex cut Casey off.

"It's forgotten, Casey. That's not it at all. I was never angry at you. I mean, I may have been annoyed at your devious tricks, but it all worked out."

"So, you just invited me over for dinner?" Casey asked suspiciously.

"Well, yes and no. I just, I'm having a hard time adjusting," Alex admitted.

"Adjusting? To what? Being back with Liv?"

"Yes and no. It's all so much, so fast. I'm not sleeping at all," Alex said.

"Yeah, Liv has that effect on women," Casey teased assuming Alex meant sex.

"Ew, stop, Casey. No, not that. It's Noah," Alex looked down as she said.

"Ohhhh," Casey said suddenly realizing what Alex was getting at. "I guess that explains why you fell asleep in court."

"You heard that, too?!"

"Relax, Alex. It's normal," Casey said. "So, are you having second thoughts? I mean, you're no longer the most important person in Liv's life anymore."

"I'm okay with that. I mean, Noah is adorable, and I love him, but Liv is a mom, and being with Liv means at some point..."

"That you'll be Noah's mom, too, if you stay together?" Casey finished her sentence.

"Yeah. And I've never really thought about that. I mean, What if I'm horrible at it? I can't even deal with the lack of sleep from staying over there," Alex confessed. "I mean, you've met me. The SVU didn't call me the Ice Queen for nothing."

Casey snickered and thought about making a joke, but reconsidered.

"Listen, Alex. That was a long time ago. You are a different person. Olivia is a different person. She's a mother now. You're both older, more mature, and I think you've gotten softer with your age. But you need to talk to Liv about this, not me. Trust me on this, she does not need you in and out of her life like before, not with Noah. If you're there, you have to be there and fight to make it work."

"It's that a warning, Casey?" Alex smiled.

"Yeah, it is. Don't get me wrong, I want you all together, but I want Noah happy and safe more than anything. You affect Liv in ways no one else ever has, and that's not always been a good thing for either of you."

Alex nodded as they finished their dinner.

#

 _Can I bring over dinner tonight? We should talk. - Alex_

Olivia looked at the text from Alex. Anytime Alex wanted to talk it made her nervous, but this time, she wasn't sure what to expect. She couldn't think of anything that could be wrong except Alex hadn't been sleeping because of... _Oh crap, Noah! What if Alex doesn't want to be with her because she can't handle a toddler?_

Obviously, for Olivia, it wasn't a question of what she would do. She was Noah's mother, and that was her top priority. It was a question of what to expect from their talk. She prepared herself for the worst, which was easy to do when it came to Alex.

"Where's Noah?" Alex asked when she arrived at Olivia's place with dinner.

"Oh, the neighbor across the hall took him tonight until bed. I thought it would be nice to have an uninterrupted dinner," Olivia smiled. "And, since you wanted to talk, I find it goes much easier when there isn't a toddler running around."

"Yeah, about that, Liv," Alex started. "I feel -" Olivia cut her off.

"It's okay, Alex. I get it. It's a big commitment being with someone with a kid, and a lot of people aren't ready for it. So, I completely understand if -" Alex stopped Olivia this time.

"Oh, God, no, Liv! No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I want to be with you, Noah and all. I told you that," Alex said, and Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, I'll admit that it's been an adjustment sleeping with a baby in the apartment. And watching my swear words, and shutting doors, and all the things that have to be toddler proofed. I'm just worried that I'm terrible at it, Liv. I don't know how to be a parent."

"Alex, you're great with kids. You've interviewed hundreds of kids," Olivia pointed out.

"Yes, but that's different, and you know it," Alex challenged. "I mean, if we stay together, and I hope we do, eventually I'll be responsible for Noah. And I've never been responsible for anyone other than myself my entire life, Liv."

"Alex, relax. It's not like I knew what I was doing. You figure it out," Olivia told her.

"Yeah, but you knew you wanted to have kids and be a mom," Alex said and then paused. "I'm not sure if I do, or at least, I've never thought much about it."

Olivia stopped for a moment. She hadn't considered whether or not Alex wanted to be a parent. She hadn't considered much, actually. She was asking Alex for a huge commitment and knew it wasn't entirely fair.

"Oh. Well, that certainly changes things," was all Olivia could say.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Alex and Olivia were finishing up putting dinner dishes away, unsure of what to say to each other. Olivia didn't want Alex to feel pressured into being with her. Alex, on the other hand, was willing to do what she needed, she just was afraid she wouldn't be good enough for Olivia and Noah.

As they were finishing the dishes, Mrs. Peterson came to drop off Noah, who was falling asleep.

"Thank you for taking him tonight," Olivia said, taking Noah from her.

"It's my pleasure, and I'm glad you ladies had some time together tonight," Mrs. Peterson smiled before leaving.

"I'm going to put Noah down, and we can get ready for bed, I mean, unless you want to go back to your place," Olivia said sincerely.

"Liv, let me," Alex said. "Let me put Noah to bed."

Olivia looked at her with a confused face. "I thought -" Alex cut her off.

"I know, but you're right. Maybe I'll figure it out," Alex smiled. "Come on, give me Noah to put down to bed. You know, unless you're afraid to leave me with him."

Olivia laughed. "Okay, suit yourself." She handed Noah over to Alex and watched as she walked down the hall to put him to bed. Olivia appreciated the gesture that Alex was making because she could tell she was still uncomfortable.

When Alex returned, Olivia was sitting on the bed waiting.

"I figured you'd be spying on me," Alex teased.

"Nope. No need. Like I said, Alex, you're great with kids, and I completely trust you," Olivia said. "I mean, I don't want to pressure you into something that you don't want. But, with Noah, I don't want to bring a lot of people in and out, so..." Olivia trailed off.

"I know. Casey already gave me a 'friendly warning,'" Alex said. Olivia laughed. "Liv, I want to be here. I just never imagined I'd have kids, so I never spent a lot of time thinking about it. But, I do want to be part of your life, and Noah's, no matter what that means."

"Hey, Noah has a birthday coming up in two weeks, and I was thinking of having a small get together here. I mean, he's not quite old enough to fully enjoy a party, but he does like cake and gifts," Olivia told Alex.

"I think that's a great idea, Liv. In fact, why don't you let me plan it? That's one thing I do know how to do," Alex said.

"Okay, but you have to promise not to overdo it. You plan the party, and I'll invite everyone," Olivia said.

"Deal," Alex said and snuggled in next to Olivia.

"Oh, wait, I forgot something." Olivia rolled over to her nightstand and pulled something out. "Earplugs."

Alex smiled and took them. "I love you, Olivia Benson."

#

"Liv, to what do I owe this visit? Please tell me it's not bad news, I can't handle anymore today," Barba said when Olivia walked in his office one afternoon.

"No, nothing like that. I actually have a personal favor to ask," Olivia said. "Noah's party is this weekend and Lucy, his sitter, was supposed to watch him in the morning while Alex and I get the apartment ready and go shopping."

Barba nodded,

"The problem is that her parents are coming to town, and it's kind of a big deal for her. It was a surprise for her. Mrs. Peterson just had surgery so I can't ask her to watch Noah, so, I was wondering..." Olivia gave him an encouraging smile.

"Ah, you need a babysitter. I'd love to, Liv, but I'm doing a guest lecturer spot at Columbia that morning. What about someone from the squad?"

"Amanda has her hands full with the new baby, and I generally try to avoid asking them since I'm their boss and all," Olivia said.

"Makes sense. What about Alex and maybe you can get someone else to help decorate?"

"She's really into planning this party, so I don't want to take that away from her, and she hasn't really ever been alone with Noah," Olivia explained.

"Ah, so not sure if she can handle it?" Barba laughed.

"Less of that and more of I don't want to scare her off," Olivia told him. "Well, thanks anyway. I'll figure something out. Maybe I can call Casey."

"Heh, you must really be desperate," Barba snorted.

"I know. It's just, I don't like leaving Noah alone with strangers and at least, Casey has been around him enough, and alone, that he would be comfortable. At any rate, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it!" Barba said, and Olivia left his office to come up with a new plan of who to get to watch Noah.

Casey pulled out her phone to text Casey. Casey also had plans in the morning, but she did offer to cancel them. Olivia declined and said she'd find an alternative, but would let her know if she couldn't. While her phone was still in her hand, she got a text from Barba.

 _What about Tucker? I know it's not ideal, but..._

 _It's not, but Noah would love it. Thanks for the suggestion._

#

Olivia hadn't mentioned to Alex that Lucy was unable to watch Noah. She didn't want Alex to stress because she had put so much work in the part. Of course, she made a plan, so it didn't matter. However, she didn't bother to share the plan with Alex.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock._

"I'll get it, Liv!" Alex yelled from the living room. Olivia was still just finishing getting Noah dressed for the day.

Alex opened the door and was shocked to see Ed Tucker from IAB standing at the door.

"Tucker?"

"Cabot."

"Whatever you and the rat squad are up to, it can wait until Monday," Alex told him. She had no idea why he was there and hadn't noticed he was in more casual clothing.

"Nice to see you too, Alex," Tucker said smiling.

From the hallway, Olivia and Noah came out. "Ed! You're right on time."

Noah took off running toward Tucker to give him a hug while Alex stood there in disbelief looking at Olivia and Tucker.

"You ready to go to the part, little man?" Tucker asked Noah and took his hand. He took Noah's bag from Olivia.

"Everything he should need is in there. If you need anything -" Tucker cut Olivia off.

"I know, Liv. I remember, and I have your number," He said and then turned to Noah. "Ready to go?"

Noah nodded and walked out the door with Tucker.

Alex's mouth was still open, and she was just staring at Olivia as the door shut behind them.

"What the fuck, Liv? Tucker? Why on earth would you let Tucker watch Noah? Where is Lucy?" Alex had a lot of questions.

"Relax, Alex. Lucy's parents surprised her by coming into town, and I knew we would be too busy to get things done with him here. Mrs. Peterson just had surgery, so I had to call someone," Olivia explained.

"So you called Tucker? I don't even understand what world I'm in right now."

"We'll talk about it later, Alex," Olivia took her hand. "Now, let's get this place party ready."

#


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I know I threw you for a loop with Tucker. Don't worry, this isn't about #Tuckson, but we do mention it here. I wanted to incorporate some current events. And for what it's worth, I don't hate the Tucker / Olivia pairing on the show. I mean, it's not Alex, but...at least it's not Elliot :)

* * *

CHAPTER 13

Olivia and Alex continued getting everything ready for the party. Olivia could tell Alex was being cold to her, and she understood that Alex was probably confused. She should have told her Tucker was picking up Noah, and she probably should have told her a lot of other things about Tucker, too. But talking about Tucker meant going back to some of the most painful and emotional times in her life because he had been there. It's more than she could say for Alex, actually.

What was going to push Alex over the edge was that she and Tucker had been involved, romantically. At the time, it just made sense for them. She had come to rely on him, and he was safe for her. But after 6 months of dating, it was clear to both of them that it wasn't working. She wasn't in love with him, and he knew it. They parted amicably and remained friends. Olivia was grateful for that, and for him.

About 45 minutes before guests were supposed to arrive, Tucker showed back up with Noah.

"Hey, I know we're a little early, but Noah scraped his knee. Don't worry, I cleaned it up and put a bandage on it, but he wanted his Mom," Tucker explained while handing Noah over to Olivia.

"Thanks, Ed. You really were a lifesaver today," Olivia smiled.

"Always here, Liv. You know that," he replied.

Alex still didn't understand this relationship but knew she needed to keep her confusion and anger under wraps, at least until the party was over.

"Can I offer drinks to everyone?" Alex said. She figured, at the very least, she could distract herself by being a hostess. "Wine?"

Olivia's eyes darted to Tucker, who was also looking at her. He had expressed concern when they were dating at her frequent drinking. He didn't believe she had a problem, but he also knew her past with her mother, and knew it was something Olivia was conscious of as well.

"Uh, I think we'll just have water, Alex. That okay with you, Ed?" Olivia said. Tucker nodded.

"Okay, suit yourself. I'm having wine," Alex said and proceeded to get everyone something to drink. She didn't understand what the look was about, but she knew even if they didn't, she certainly needed a drink, at least until other people arrived to distract her.

"Oh, hey, Liv, I forgot to tell you. Elliot called, and he's going to make it," Alex said as she handed their drinks to them.

"Elliot? I didn't even invite him. I mean, It's okay of course, but how did he know?" Olivia was nervous, and could tell Tucker was as well.

"I called him. I had just assumed you invited him. I'm sorry if that was wrong," Alex explained.

"No, not at all. I just haven't talked to him in a while, so I forgot about it," Olivia said. She was lying. She had a good reason for not inviting him and the reason was sitting right next to her. Alex wasn't the only person who didn't know about her newfound friendship with Ed Tucker, and as worried as she was about Alex, she was even more worried about how Elliot would react.

The three of them finished up getting things in place while Noah took a short nap. Before long, the rest of the guests were arriving. Everyone from the squad was there, as well as Barba, Casey, Munch, and Melinda. Finally Elliot arrived and everyone was excited to see him.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Liv. Eli had soccer practice, and you know how that goes, or at least you will soon enough," Elliot smiled and pulled Olivia in for a big hug. As he looked over his shoulder, he saw Tucker. "Tucker?"

"Things are different, El. He's a good friend. We can talk about it some other time, catch up," Olivia explained. She didn't need Elliot going all, well, Elliot here.

Elliot smiled. "Catching up would be good. I've missed you."

After Noah opened gifts and everyone had cake, the adults at the party enjoyed their time to spend off the clock and with each other. They had lucked out that the rapist had seemingly taken the afternoon off.

Alex was in the kitchen, keeping herself busy when Elliot came in behind her.

"So, you and Liv, again," he smiled.

"Yeah, me and Liv," she replied.

"I'm happy for you all, and that you're doing it the right way this time," he said and Alex nodded and smiled. "So, what's the deal with Tucker being here? I hate that guy."

"Your guess is as good as mine," she said.

"She hadn't mentioned him?"

"I had forgotten he existed until he showed up this morning to take Noah to the park," she explained.

"What the -," was all Elliot could say. Alex took a breath and rolled her eyes. They were her thoughts exactly.

In the living room, Barba cornered Olivia.

"So, I'm guessing by the reaction of Alex and Elliot, they didn't know about you and Tucker," he asked her. Olivia just sighed.

"I understand not telling Elliot, as you rarely see him, but Alex? I mean, I never would have suggested..." Barba continued.

"I know. And I meant to tell her, but it's complicated," she said.

"It's really not, Liv. Regardless of what any of us think of him on the job, he supported you and had your back during the Lewis stuff, and with Noah. He's not my favorite person, but he's a good friend, and I can see why you two became involved. There's nothing wrong with that, and honestly, if Alex has a problem with it, she's being ridiculous. But...you should have told her."

Olivia rolled her eyes at him. "I know. It's just the history with Tucker has been complicated, not our relationship."

"I know, but I have a feeling you may be sleeping on the couch tonight, your place or not," he grinned and patted her on the arm. "And you know better than I do that Angry Cabot is not something for the faint of heart."

The party began winding down and everyone had started saying their goodbyes and leaving. It had been fun catching up, and even if it was Noah's party, Olivia had enjoyed the time as much as Noah had.

"Hey, Liv, I'm taking off. Thanks for inviting me, even if it created some awkward situations," Tucker told her.

"You're always invited, Ed. Noah loves you. I'm glad you could make it, and I'm especially grateful you could help out with Noah this morning," she said.

"Anytime, Olivia," he said. "So, can I ask a question?" Olivia nodded.

"You didn't tell Alex, did you?"

Olivia opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"No, I get it. I mean, I understand Stabler, but you and Alex are together now. You didn't think she might have a problem with it?"

"I know, you're right. Don't worry, though; I'll take care of it tonight," Olivia told him.

Tucker nodded and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Goodbye, Liv. And give Noah my love when you wrangle him away from Melinda."

Olivia smiled as Tucker left.

Alex was watching all of this unfold from the kitchen. She couldn't hear what they were saying exactly, but she could tell by the body language that they were close, and the kiss? Even if it was on the cheek, she could barely contain herself at that point.

"Hey, Alex, great party. Olivia told me you did all of this," Barba snuck up on Alex. He could see her anger and was trying to diffuse it.

"What? Oh, yeah, I didn't do much. Anything for Noah though," she turned around and went back to cleaning off the counter.

"Olivia loves you; you know that, right?" Barba said. He was never one to mince words.

"Yes, of course, I do. What's your point, Barba?" Alex knew he had an agenda with those words and wasn't in the mood.

"I just want you to remember that. She's had an incredibly difficult past few years, and I'm happy that she's finally found someone that makes her happy," Barba said. "That's all I'm saying."

Alex just nodded and smiled. She wasn't sure what else to say.

After everyone was gone and Noah was down for the count, Olivia and Alex finished cleaning up before plopping down on the couch. They were both exhausted.

"This was a great party, Alex. Noah loved it. Thank you for planning it," Olivia told her and grabbed Alex's hand. Alex didn't pull her hand back, but she didn't move it either.

"I was happy to do it, Olivia," Alex replied. She still had a lot of questions, but she was still confused and angry and wasn't sure how that would come across at the moment.

"Is something wrong?" Olivia asked. She knew there was, and she knew what it was.

"I'm just tired, Liv," Alex said. It was a true statement, even if she avoided the question.

Olivia sighed. Alex wasn't going to make this easy for her, apparently.

"Is this about Ed?" Olivia finally asked.

Alex took her time to respond. "What do you think, Olivia?" Olivia just sat quietly and nodded, sighing again. "I mean, how about for starters we talk about why you're calling him Ed and not Tucker?"

Alex's tone was much harsher than she intended.

"Alex, he's been a friend to me. We're way beyond what happened in the past."

"A friend? Is that all?"

It was truth time for Olivia.

"Well, no. I mean, he was a friend and still is, but we were involved for a few months," Olivia finally confessed.

"Tucker?! You slept with Tucker?!" Alex had suspected it, but hearing Olivia say it out loud just made it real.

"It wasn't sex, Alex. I mean, yes, we slept together, but it wasn't like, um, some of my past relationships," Olivia said.

"You mean like us," Alex snapped.

Olivia ignored that comment, even if it was true. "It wasn't a relationship based on sex. We cared for each other. We still do, but it dating didn't work out for us. I wasn't in love with him. He knew that, and we moved on."

"It doesn't seem like you moved on if he's here taking Noah to the park," Alex said sarcastically.

"I didn't know who else to call, Alex. I had exhausted other options, and Noah is comfortable with Ed. He's good to Noah, and he was willing to help out a friend," Olivia said. She was beginning to get annoyed with the questioning.

"Listen, Alex. Ed, or Tucker, is a good friend. But we've both moved on. He's dating. I'm with you. It's in the past. But, I'm not going to cut him out of my life, or Noah's, because he was one of the few people besides my squad that was there for me during the most difficult time in my life," Olivia said, voice rising.

Alex put her head down. She hadn't been there for Olivia. She had been too busy being a judge that she couldn't even pick up a phone to check on Olivia during the midst of the William Lewis saga. Part of her wondered if it was because of her position that she was afraid of getting involved. The more she avoided, the more guilty she felt about it. However, she didn't expect Olivia to bring it up so passive aggressively, and that pissed her off.

"Oh, I see. I get it, Liv. I wasn't there for you. Thanks for reminding me," Alex said bitterly.

"Reminding you? Part of the reason I didn't tell you about Tucker is because that's when our friendship formed; during the Lewis stuff. You think I like thinking about those memories? Oh, that's right, you wouldn't know about them because you never bothered to call," Olivia said and immediately regretted it.

"You know what? I'm going to bed. You can sleep on the couch," Alex said and stomped off.

"But this is my apartment!" Olivia had yelled at her before a blanket and pillow came flying out of the bedroom and the door slammed.

Olivia laid down on the couch and chuckled to herself. _Oh well, at least, she's in the room with the baby monitor._ She smiled and went fast to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: How about a nice day out for Liv and Alex? Also, don't worry about Tucker. He won't be causing any more problems, I just wanted to touch on current events in Season 17.

* * *

CHAPTER 14

Alex lay in bed unable to sleep. She was upset Olivia hadn't told her about Tucker, and then, there was the fact that it was _Tucker_.

Mostly, though, she was feeling guilty and scared.

Guilty because she hadn't been there for Olivia and should have been. She saw the news. She heard the courthouse buzz, and yet she had been too afraid to pick up a phone until after Noah came along. They had always been better at dealing with the happy times.

She was also scared. She was growing to love Noah and wanted to be part of his life, but she still wasn't sure she would be good at the parenting thing. Seeing Tucker with Noah - how much Noah loved him and the care Tucker showed toward him - made her even more doubtful and even jealous. _What if Olivia thought Tucker would be a better parent than Alex?_

As Alex laid in bed, she heard Noah cry through the baby monitor. _Shoot, Liv isn't in here,_ she thought. Alex debated waking up Olivia before deciding she could handle it and left for Noah's room.

Olivia heard the cries, too, and started to get up when she saw Alex go into Noah's room. She walked just outside Noah's room in case Alex needed her.

"Shhh, Noah," Alex said. "It's okay. Momma is sleeping. I'm here, though." Alex rocked him and patted his back to sooth him back to sleep.

"It's okay, baby," she said. "I'm here. Your mom is here, and we love you." Soon Noah was falling fast asleep.

Olivia could hear Alex's whisperers and her eyes filled with tears. She continued standing in the door with a smile on her face.

Once Noah had been asleep for a few minutes, Alex put him back in bed. She turned around and saw Olivia at the door.

"I was trying not to wake you," Alex said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Olivia replied. "You're amazing, Alex."

Alex took Olivia's hand and walked her back to the bedroom.

#

Sunday morning, Alex woke up to the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen.

"Something smells wonderful," Alex said as she sleepily walked up behind Olivia. Olivia leaned in and kissed Alex.

"You did so much work yesterday on the party, and got up with Noah last night, I thought you deserved a good meal," Olivia told her.

"You didn't have to do this, Liv," Alex said. However, she didn't waste time digging in. "Especially after I made you sleep on the couch in your own apartment."

"It was only part of the night," Olivia teased. "And I know I didn't have to; I wanted to."

"So, what's our plan for today?" Alex asked.

"Well, Lucy and her parents are going to the zoo today and offered to take Noah, since she missed his party yesterday," Olivia said.

Alex grinned. "Oh, so we have the day to ourselves?"

"Well, part of it, yes. And while I appreciate what's behind that grin of yours, I was thinking we could spend the day at Central Park, have a picnic, and maybe talk about some things," Olivia said.

Alex smiled. "Yes, we should probably do that. It sounds like a perfect day, Liv."

They finished breakfast and got Noah ready for his zoo trip. Shortly after he left with Lucy, they packed up the picnic basket and headed to the park for the afternoon. It was a nice day outside, and they found a spot with some shade near a tree where they could spread out.

After a short walk, they ate the sandwiches they had packed and laid down on the blanket.

"So," Olivia said.

"So," Alex replied. She wasn't sure she wanted to be the one to start the conversation.

"I guess we could start with Tucker and me," Olivia said. She saw Alex take a breath and clench her jaw slightly.

"I just don't understand, Liv," Alex said. "I mean, why him? After what he put Elliot and Nick through, not to mention the fact that he arrested you!"

"I know, Alex," Olivia said. "And we've moved past that. He was just doing his job like the rest of us."

"Clearly not well if he's going after innocent cops!" Alex still didn't quite understand.

"Alex, you know it's more complicated than that," Olivia said calmly. "Besides, we both know that people change and grow. Tucker has done that, as have I."

Alex let out a deep sigh. "I can accept that, but you still should have told me about your relationship rather than dropping that bomb on me while he's out playing Dad to Noah."

"You're right," Olivia admitted. "I should have told you about Tucker and me, and for that, I'm sorry." Olivia paused for a moment and started again.

"However, I'm not sorry for our relationship, and I won't apologize or justify it to anyone anymore. It was good, and it was healthy for me," Olivia finished.

Alex nodded. She didn't understand fully but was willing to accept it. "No more secrets."

"No more secrets," Olivia agreed.

They sat quietly for a few moments before Alex spoke up again.

"I guess it was just shocking to me not knowing and then to see how he was with Noah. I mean, Liv, I'm nowhere near as parental as that," Alex admitted.

"You did a pretty good job last night," Olivia smiled and took Alex's hand.

Alex sighed.

"It comes," Olivia said. "I promise. And you will be wonderful. No, wait, you already are wonderful."

Alex smiled and was quiet as tears began to form in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Alex said softly.

"For what?" Olivia asked.

"For not being there," Alex said. "I knew, and I did nothing."

Olivia looked away. "Alex, we don't have to talk about this right now. I shouldn't have brought it up because we can't' change the past."

Maybe not, but we should talk about it," Alex said. "I mean, if you want to, of course. I want to know and to understand. I want to be here for you now...and forever."

"I missed you," Olivia admitted. "I wanted you to call so badly. I mean, I know I could have called you, but I wasn't very good at asking for help during that time."

"It's understandable," Alex told her. "I'm sorry I never called. I have no excuses except I was afraid I was the last person you would want to hear from. I was scared, but I should have known that you probably were, too."

"I still have nightmares," Olivia said after a short pause.

"I know," Alex replied. "And I promise from now on, you won't have to go through them, or anything else alone."

Olivia smiled and laid her head on Alex's shoulder.

"I'm not trying to rush us, Liv, but I want you to know that I am 110% in this for the long haul," Alex told her.

"Me, too." Olivia replied.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Happy Easter! Short time jump. Alex and Olivia are well established in their relationship at this point. Thanks for all the continued reviews. I have an interesting plot line coming up also after this chapter.

* * *

CHAPTER 15

 _Six Months Later._

The SVU squad were all out in the field tracking down a child trafficking ring when things went from bad to worse. As they were working to get the children out of the house, Olivia noticed some movement from the back.

"Fin, cover me. I saw something move back there. We may have another victim," Olivia told him.

"Gotcha, LT," Fin replied and watched as she slowly made her way into the back yard to a what appeared to be a small shed. Fin followed behind.

Once she turned the corner, she heard the click of a gun cocking. Before Fin could draw his gun, he was hit over the head from a second perp behind him.

"Now, I want both your weapons or she dies," Harold Hilltower, their suspect, said. He was pointing the gun between Olivia and an 11-year-old girl who was crying.

"Okay, we'll do what you say," Olivia said as her and Fin put their weapons down. "Just tell us what you want so no one has to get hurt."

"In the shed. All of you!" Hilltower screamed.

Outside on the street, Rollins walked over to Dodds. "Where's Lt and Fin? They were following us out and I don't see them?"

Dodds looked around at Rollins and Carisi. No one knew where the rest of their team was.

#

Alex was in court when she saw her phone began to ring. It was unlikely for anyone to call her during the day, especially when they knew she was in a trial. In the past she had rarely even taken her phone into the courtroom, but since Olivia and Noah came back into her life, she always wanted to be able to be reached in case something happened to Olivia.

 _Noah's daycare? That's odd. They've never called me_ , Alex thought.

"We need to take a 15-minute recess. I'm sorry," Alex announced to the court before grabbing her phone and entering chambers.

"This is Alex Cabot," she said into the phone.

" _Ms. Cabot, we have you down as Noah's emergency contact in case we can't his mother," the voice on the phone explained. "Can you meet us at the hospital? Noah had an accident but he's going to be okay. We can't reach Ms. Benson."_

"I'll be right there," Alex said as she slung her robe off and informed the court officer that court was adjourned for the day.

Alex called Olivia multiple times on her way to the hospital. _No answer. Where is she?_ Alex wondered. She also called the squad room and Barba, with no answer.

"Noah Benson?" She asked when she got to the info desk at the hospital. "I'm Alex Cabot."

"Yes, Ms. Cabot. This way. We have been unable to reach Ms. Benson," a nurse told her.

"How is Noah?" Alex asked. She was obviously worried and really wished Olivia was there with her.

"Noah will be fine, but we need permission to do surgery. He has a ruptured spleen and while sometimes these can heal on their own, there is more internal bleeding than we would like," the doctor explained. "The procedure would involve either removing or repairing the spleen."

"I, um, I mean, you'll need to talk to Noah's mother, Olivia," Alex said. "I'm not sure what she would want, but I don't think I can give permission."

"We don't have time to wait, and according to the daycare paperwork, you are authorized to make medical decisions on Noah's behalf in her absence," the doctor said. "What's your decision?"

"What is your recommendation?" Alex asked.

"Noah needs to surgery to be safe," the doctor told her.

Alex sighed. She had never been responsible for making health decisions for anyone other than herself, and Olivia hadn't even told her she added her to Noah's emergency list. "Do it," she finally said.

Alex's phone finally rang. It was Barba returning her call. He was calling to tell her about Olivia being held hostage but before he could, Alex started yelling.

"Where the hell is Liv? I've been trying to reach her and Noah is at the hospital, and I just had to give permission for them to do surgery, and I have no idea what I'm doing!" She finally took a breath while Barba tried to take everything he heard in.

"Relax, Alex. It's good you're there with Noah," Barba said. He knew he couldn't tell her about Olivia right now. "Listen, Liv is not available right now, but I'll keep her informed. And I'll come to the hospital with you."

"Fine," Alex said. "But tell Liv to get her ass here."

Barba called Sgt. Dodds. "Noah is in the hospital. Do whatever you all need to do to get Benson and Finn out of there, safe, and quickly."

Barba then went and met Alex at the hospital and found her sitting in the waiting room.

"How's Noah?" He asked.

"Still in surgery," Alex said. "He should be out soon. Where is Olivia?"

"I'm sure she'll be here as soon as she can," he said, hoping that it was true.

"I had no idea Olivia even had me listed as Noah's emergency contact," she said.

"She just did it last week," Barba said. "I suggested it once she told me you all were talking about moving in together. I'm sure she just hadn't told you yet."

"Yeah, no, I'm glad she did, and that I can be here. I'd hate to think about him being here alone. Or god, if Lucy had to make that decision for him," Alex said. "I mean, I know she would make the best decision, I just wouldn't want that stress on such a young girl."

"I know," Barba said. "But Olivia did it because aside from her, you are the most important person in Noah's life. There is no one else Olivia would want having to make this decision."

Alex sighed and laid her head back on the chair. Barba looked down and saw a text from Dodds on his phone.

 _She's on her way. Everyone is safe._

"Olivia is on her way," Barba told her.

Before Alex could even look up, Olivia came running into the waiting room.

"Alex!" Olivia said as she ran over to hug her girlfriend. "What's going on?"

"Noah fell on the playground and ruptured his spleen," Alex told her. "They had to do surgery. They said there was a chance it could repair itself, but recommended the surgery in case there was more internal bleeding. I couldn't reach you and they told me I had to decide. I'm sorry, I didn't know what you would want."

"Alex, you did great," Olivia said. "You did exactly what I would do, and even if not, you did what you thought was best. That's all a parent can do."

"Family of Noah Benson?" The doctor called out.

"Here," Olivia and Alex both said.

"Noah is out of surgery and did great. We were able to repair the spleen and he'll be as good as new soon enough. The surgery was the right call because there was a lot of bleeding," he explained.

Alex and Olivia sighed. "When can we see him?"

"Soon. He's sleeping right now, and will be awake in about 30 minutes probably. I'll send a nurse out when he's ready," he said before leaving.

The two women moved to sit down next to Barba.

"Where were you, Liv?" Alex asked. "I couldn't reach you."

Olivia glanced over at Barba. His look told her enough to know he hadn't told Alex about the events of the day.

"How about I grab us some coffee?" Barba said, quickly excusing himself. They nodded.

"What are you not telling me, Liv?" Alex asked.

"We had an, uh, incident today, that's all," Olivia said.

"What _kind_ of incident?" Alex asked.

"A couple of suspects got the drop on Fin and I and held us hostage with an 11-year-old girl for a short time," Olivia said.

"What?!" Alex yelled. "Liv, why didn't I know?"

"We were all a little busy. I was told Barba was supposed to have called you back," Olivia said.

"He did...but then I started going on about Noah," Alex said. "That ass! Why didn't he tell me?"

"I'm sure he just didn't want you to worry about me while you were focused on Noah," Olivia said.

"But I do worry about you, Liv," Alex said. "And this is the life I've chosen. I want to worry about both you and Noah. And as much as your job scares me sometimes, I want to know these things."

Olivia leaned over and kissed Alex on the head. "Okay. I promise from now on, you'll know when a psychopath is holding me hostage," she teased.

Alex hit her gently and rolled her eyes. "Not funny, Benson."

#


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: A cute chapter before we hit some more serious stuff. In this world, Alex's mother didn't die while she was in WitSec, cause Noah is going to need a grandma, right?

* * *

CHAPTER 16

Olivia and Alex were able to bring Noah home from the hospital within a couple of days. He had handled the surgery like a trooper and was recovering well. They were all happy to be home and not a hospital anymore. Neither Olivia nor Alex had left the hospital for more than a couple hours at a time while Noah was there.

"I've never been so happy to see our bed," Olivia said as she plopped face first down on it after putting Noah to bed.

"I know what you mean." Alex laid down next to her on her side. Olivia rolled over so she could face Alex. "I was thinking, though, it would be nice to finally make it 'our' bed," Alex continued. "I mean, I know we've been talking about moving in together, so unless you've changed your mind..."

Olivia leaned forward and kiss Alex before she could finish her sentence. "Not in a million years would I change my mind," she said after pulling away from the kiss.

"So, I guess it makes more sense for me to move in here," Alex continued. "I mean, this is Noah's home and my place isn't exactly baby proofed."

"Are we going to have enough room for all of your shoes here?" Olivia snorted.

Alex swatted her on the arm. "Cute, Liv," she said. "But everything I need is already here." She leaned in and kissed Olivia. It was longer than the first one.

Olivia reached around Alex to pull her on top of her, forgetting about her bruising from a few days prior.

"Ow," Olivia mumbled, never removing her lips from Alex.

"Liv! You're still hurt; maybe we should take it easy tonight," Alex suggested.

Olivia sighed and allowed Alex to move back off of her. Alex leaned in and placed a kiss on Olivia's head.

"So, I'm sorry that I wasn't available when you tried to reach me the other day, and that you had to go through that alone," Olivia said staring at the ceiling.

"Nonsense, Liv," Alex snuggled up to Olivia. "I told you, we're in this together. Although, it would have been nice to know you listed me as Noah's emergency contact."

Alex was grinning so Olivia knew she wasn't angry.

"Yeah, about that," Olivia started. "I literally had just made the change, and I meant to talk to you first, but they were updating paperwork, and needed it, and so I did it and just got busy and forgot. I hope it was okay. If not, I can get it changed back to Lucy."

"Don't you dare!" Alex said. "I love Noah as if he was my own. And honestly, the fact that you trust me enough to make those decisions means everything...especially because I'm not exactly motherly."

"Alex, don't sell yourself short," Olivia put her arm around the blonde. "I didn't make that change just because you're my girlfriend. I did it because I do trust you. I know that you always have Noah's best interest at heart, and he loves you. Also, I think you are plenty motherly. I see you read to him at night before I go in there. Listen, I love you and Noah loves you. We are a family."

Alex sighed and moved closer to Olivia, careful not to push too hard against Liv's injuries.

"Speaking of family," Alex said. "I was talking to my parents yesterday, and they would love for us to come for a visit in a few weekends. I mean, once Noah has recovered more."

"That sounds great, Alex," Olivia replied. "I've just never left Noah all weekend, but I think I can see if Casey is available. She's offered numerous times."

"Oh, Liv, what I failed to mention was that my mother said she would kill us both if we didn't bring Noah with us," Alex smirked.

"Oh, so like a family vacation, huh?" Olivia smiled. "Ugh, they're going to spoil him so bad, aren't they?"

Alex nodded and smiled.

"Great, now I'm going to have two spoiled brats on my hands...a spoiled prince and a spoiled princess!" Olivia teased. Alex, not caring so much about her injuries, reached over and pinched Olivia on the stomach before hitting her in the face with a pillow.

#

In a couple of weeks, Noah had recovered enough to make the trip to upstate New York to see the Cabots. Caroline and John were waiting outside the front door once they heard the car pull up.

As soon as the car stopped, they went over to help Alex unload luggage as Olivia got Noah out of his car seat.

"Olivia!" Caroline Cabot gave her a big hug. "It's so nice to see you again. And this must be Noah." She took Noah from Olivia's arms and gave him a hug.

John Cabot made his way over to Olivia. "I'm glad you could visit this weekend, Olivia. We really are happy to see you and Noah."

Alex just stood to the side, half pouting, half smirking. She wasn't mad; she was just amused at how quickly her presence was forgotten.

"Earth to my parents," she teased. "Your chopped-liver daughter is here, too."

"Of course, we're happy to see you, too, Alex," John said and gave her a hug.

Caroline had already ushered Noah and Olivia toward the front door, but yelled over her shoulder. "Get use to it now, Alex!"

Olivia just laughed. She appreciated how welcome the Cabots always had made her feel when she and Alex had been dating in their early years. She was even more grateful at how they had embraced Noah and opened their arms to her after all these years spent apart from Alex.

Alex and John grabbed the bags and she took his arm as they walked into the house. "Don't worry, you'll always be my princess," he whispered.

Caroline showed them to Alex's old room where they would be sleeping. Olivia mentioned going to get the pack-n-play from the car for Noah to sleep in, but Caroline laughed at her.

"No, sweetie, Noah has his own room," she said. Olivia and Alex looked at her confused. "We put a toddler bed in the guest room that's right next door."

"You what?" Alex said.

"Caroline, you didn't have to do that," Olivia said shyly.

"Of course, we did," Caroline said. "Noah is family now. That is unless the two of you plan on playing your stupid games you have for the past, however, many years. But I was under the impression this was for real this time." She looked at them closely, and her tone made it sound like she was talking to a couple of teenagers.

"No, it's real," Olivia said. "We're really doing this."

"Then it's settled," Caroline said. "Noah is family, and family gets their own bed."

Caroline left them alone and went back downstairs where John had been entertaining Noah with a set of builders blocks.

"You know, I may love your parents almost as much as I love you," Olivia joked.

"Well, as long as it's almost, and you don't kiss them like you kiss me, I think I can live with that," Alex teased back before pulling Olivia into a kiss. "Besides, they love you, too. However, I'm pretty sure we both just got dethroned by Noah in terms of who they love the most."

Olivia laughed. "And they just met him!"

"Doesn't matter. Do you know how long they've wanted grandkids? I thought Adam would take the pressure off me, but he can't seem to commit," Alex said.

Olivia sat on the bed quietly. Alex could tell she was thinking about something; her demeanor had changed from happy to pensive rather quickly.

"What's on your mind, Liv?" Alex asked.

"Nothing. I mean, it's not important."

"If it's got you this quiet, it's important. And if you care about it, then I do, too," Alex told her.

"It's just, talking about kids and all, I just always thought..." Olivia started but Alex cut her off.

"You want more kids someday," Alex finished.

"No, it's just that I had imagined a sibling for Noah at some point, but I love our family, and it's perfect," Olivia kissed Alex. She knew Alex has been hesitant about kids in the past and while they had talked about it while they were dating, that had been a very long time ago. She didn't want Alex to feel pressured if she didn't want kids. It was enough that she loved Noah and was becoming a mother to him.

"Well, Liv, I think if this continues going where we think it is, that it's something we should talk about," Alex said. "I'm not opposed to the idea. It's just at some point, I had just figured that it wasn't for me, but things are different now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Alex reassured her. "I mean, when I was with Robert, he wanted kids so badly. He couldn't wait to get married and so I could get pregnant and stay home with our 10 kids."

"10?" Olivia looked at her.

"Okay, maybe an exaggeration, but he wanted a lot of kids," Alex said. "And I guess that's when I put in my mind I didn't want kids. It's one of the reasons we broke up."

"Oh," Olivia said. Her and Alex had never really talked about Robert. In fact, Olivia just would rather have forgotten his existence altogether.

"But, I think it wasn't that I didn't want kid, but that I didn't want kids with him," Alex told her. "There's a big difference, and there was just always something off with Robert. He was just...well, not the kind of person you want to raise kids with."

Everything began to make more sense to Olivia now. She could understand that feeling, and pulled Alex into a hug before playing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Well, we don't have to decide now. I mean, we should probably get engaged first at the very least," Olivia smirked at Alex and Alex's eyes widened.

"Oh, don't think I haven't thought about it," Olivia told her. "But, that's my little secret I get to keep for now."

"You're the world's biggest tease," Alex said.

"Yes, and you're right behind me," Olivia told her. "Besides, you know you love it!"

"Well, I love you," Alex said. "And, as much as I'd like to stay in this bed all day, I'm afraid we better go check on Noah before my parents buy him his first car already."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: As always, I'm thankful for those of you who take time to read and review.

* * *

CHAPTER 17

The movers had just dropped off the last of Alex's stuff and Olivia and Alex stood in the living room looking at all the boxes trying to figure out where everything was going to fit. It was more stuff than either of them had anticipated.

"Don't worry, Liv," Alex reassured her. "I'll go through everything as we unpack and get rid of anything I don't need."

"I thought you already went through everything," Olivia growled.

"I did, but I guess maybe a second round is in order," Alex gave a sheepish grin before Olivia's phone rang.

"Benson," Olivia said. It was Rollins calling, even though Olivia has specifically told them to call her only in case of emergency.

" _Hey Lieutenant," Rollins said. "I'm sorry to bother you, but we have a case, and I really think you're going to want to come in."_

"Is it really necessary?" Olivia asked although she knew Rollins wouldn't have called her. She could also see the look Alex was giving her.

" _Yeah, it's important,"_ Rollins said before Olivia hung up the phone.

"Seriously, Liv? They can't function without you for one day?" Alex said. She was not hiding her annoyance even though she knew it had to be an emergency. "What is it?"

"Amanda didn't say," Olivia replied as she walked around to grab her badge and gun. "Just that it was important."

"They're all important," Alex pouted. Olivia went over to give her a kiss goodbye.

"I know, but I also trust that they have a damn good reason for calling me today," Olivia smirked and headed out the door.

#

"This better be good," Olivia said as she walked into the squad room. Fin and Rollins were in front of the evidence screen waiting for her to arrive. Dodds and Carisi were out on a call.

"You know we wouldn't call you if it weren't important, Liv," Fin said.

"Yeah, yeah. So, what do we got?" Olivia asked.

"Female victim reported being raped and beaten by her fiance, some powerful wall street guy, she says," Rollins explained. "We did some digging, and the M.O. is similar to a couple other unsolved rapes, as well as a murder a few years back."

"Okay, so bring him in for questioning," Liv said. "What's the catch? There must be some reason you called me instead of waiting on Dodds."

"Because of who the suspect is," Rollins said.

"More specifically, who he used to be engaged to," Fin finished for her. Rollins clicked the remote to bring up an engagement announcement from the paper - Robert Bailey and Alexandra Cabot.

Olivia stared at the screen with her mouth open for what seemed like an eternity.

"Lieutenant?" Olivia didn't hear Rollins speaking to her.

"Liv?" Fin's voice snapped Olivia out of it. "What do you want us to do?"

"Uh, keep digging, discreetly. He's got a lot of political power from what I understand, so when we do arrest him, I want to make sure we nail this son of a bitch," Olivia said and then walked away to her office.

Rollins eyebrows raised and she looked toward Fin who nodded that it was okay. Fin let Olivia have a few minutes to herself before going in to check on her.

"You okay?" Fin asked as she slightly opened the office door. Olivia nodded for him to come in.

"Not really. I mean, I just keep thinking about..." Olivia trailed off.

"Liv, it's okay. We'll get this guy and when we're through with him, Bubba will make him feel everything he did to those women," Fin said.

Olivia smiled slightly. "I know. For now, though, let's keep this under wraps. I'll go talk to Barba and when Dodds and Carisi get back, we'll all debrief in here. Nothing leaves this room," Olivia said.

"And Alex?" Fin had to ask as much as he hated to. "I mean, at some point, she could be helpful if there is a pattern. I know it's not what you want to hear."

"No, you're right. I'll figure out how and when to tell her, but for now if we don't need to involve her, I'd rather not," Olivia said.

"Understood," Fin said and then left.

Olivia left and headed to Barba's office.

"Benson, I thought you were off," Barba said when he saw Olivia poke her head in his office. "Aren't you moving Alex today?"

"Something came up," she said. "We need to talk."

"Okay?" Barba said waiting on Olivia to tell him why she was there.

"Not here," she said. "Can we go somewhere else?"

"Yeah, I'm done with court today," Barba said as they walked toward the door. "You're scaring me, Liv. Is everything okay with Noah?"

"Noah is fine," she replied. "But I'll fill you in when we're away from here."

The two of them left Barba's office and found a bench in a small nearby park. Olivia began to fill him in on the case.

"So you're telling me that your alleged rapist is not only Robert Bailey, Wall Street rockstar, but also Alex's ex-fiance and may be tied to other rapes and a murder?" Barba asked in a stunned tone.

Olivia nodded.

"Oh, this is bad, Liv," Barba said.

"I know," she replied.

"No, I mean, he has a lot of pull within the city," Barba said. "Who else knows?"

"Just the squad. Me, Fin, Rollins, Dodds, and Carisi."

"Good, keep it that way for now," Barba said.

"And what do we do with our current victim?" She asked.

"Tell her you're investigating, but don't mention the rest. Send someone to talk to Bailey about her allegations only. Play to his ego and don't tip him off about the rest," Barba said.

Olivia nodded.

"I know this is personal for you and I also know that as much as I warn you to stay far away from this, you won't," Barba said. "So, we need to play it safe for now."

Olivia smirked and nodded.

"And Alex?" Barba asked.

Olivia sighed and Barba knew exactly what it meant.

"Listen, just make sure there is a pattern first. If it's just the one rape, then there is no reason we need to drag Alex into this," Barba said.

"Yeah, but you and I know that isn't likely," Olivia said and took a deep breath.

"I know," Barba said. "I just wouldn't want to be you right now." He gave her a comforting look and patted her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks for the support," she smirked before looking down and reading a new text message. "Dodds and Carisi are back. Let's go brief the squad."

#

"So, everyone is clear on how we're going to handle this?" Barba asked the squad after everyone was up to speed. They were all gathered in Olivia's office.

"We got it, Counselor," Fin said.

"As we all know, Benson should probably not be anywhere near this case. However, I know SVU plays by their own rules. Just make sure we do this the right way, and Liv, you're not to be anywhere near any interrogations or arrests, unless absolutely necessary."

Olivia nodded.

"We'll make sure to have the Lieutenant's back," Dodds said.

"I know you will, but this guy will have a legal dream team. Better than O.J. They will eat guys like Buchanan for breakfast," Barba said, garnering a slight chuckle from the squad. "We can't afford any mistakes."

"So, no one outside of this room is to know anything. Other officers, attorneys, judges, no one. And that even includes Alex," Olivia said.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?" Rollins asked. "Couldn't she be helpful to the investigation?"

"Not just yet," Barba interjected. "If we need to, we'll involve her, but until we know if there is a pattern, Alex stays out of this."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Fair enough," Rollins said.

#

"Hey, long day?" Alex asked when Olivia came home that night. Olivia nodded.

"I ordered takeout and hey, look at the boxes I got rid of today," Alex pointed to the living room.

Olivia smiled, "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help."

"It's fine," Alex said, getting their food out on plates. "It's your job. What was it, anyway, that couldn't wait?"

"A man raped his fiance," Olivia said. She watched Alex's body tense up slightly.

"And they called you in for that?" Alex asked. "Seems like a fairly run of the mill SVU case."

"Dodds was out on a call and they needed some help with the interviews," Olivia said, which was half true. She decided to change the subject. "This food is really good. I'm starving."

After dinner, Olivia put their dishes away. "I'll go get Noah into the bath, I guess," she said.

"Already done," Alex smiled. "Although, Lucy wore him out at the park today, so he's tired right now if you want to put him to bed."

"Okay, I'll go read his story and put him to bed," Olivia said.

Olivia returned about 30 minutes later and poured a glass of wine.

"Want some?" She asked Alex.

"No, I had enough with dinner," Alex said.

Olivia moved to the couch and relaxed for the first time all day.

"You looked worried and stressed," Alex asked, taking Olivia's hand. "Is everything okay?"

Olivia nodded. "I'm tired. It's been a long couple of days."

"Yeah, I know," Alex said. "But the hard part of moving is over, right?"

Olivia took another gulp of wine and nodded. _The hard part, yeah right?_ "Can we go to bed now?"

"Sure, just let me clean my shoes off the bed?" Alex said.

Olivia's eyes widened.

"Relax, I'm kidding," Alex said. "Let's go to bed."

Despite going to bed early and being tired, Olivia couldn't sleep. She wanted to tell Alex about Robert, but she was afraid of what may have happened to Alex. She knew details could retraumatize victims, and even though she told her victims all the time to tell their stories, she couldn't bear for Alex to have to deal with something like that. She hoped to God that Robert wasn't responsible for any of this, and Alex would never have to know.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: So, we have an extra long chapter here. There is some trouble on the homefront and Alex finds out!

* * *

CHAPTER 18

Olivia got up and left for work before Alex had woke up. She was grateful Alex had taken the remainder of the week off to finish unpacking. The further Alex was away from the courthouse and the precinct, the better; at least until this case was over.

When Olivia arrived at work, she took time reading through the case file and the victim statement before looking at the previously suspected rapes and murder. She was hoping that there would be something to tell her it was someone else and that Robert wasn't capable of this kind of thing.

"Dodds, take Carisi to Robert's office this morning," she said when everyone had gathered in her office. "Play to his ego like you don't believe Katie's story but that you're just there to follow-up. We need him to trust someone and hopefully, let his guard down enough to slip up before he gets his lawyers involved."

"Fin, you and Rollins dig into his life," Olivia said, turning to the other two. "See if there have been any other accusations or any skeletons in the closet that he may have paid off to go away."

"Hey, Lieutenant...you've got company," Carisi said before motioning outside of the window to Alex and Noah.

"Did you talk to her?" Dodds asked. "I thought you were going to wait."

"Not yet," Olivia replied. "I'm not sure why they're here, but I'll handle it. Everyone go, and not a word."

The squad nodded before leaving Olivia's office, all of them greeting Alex and Noah on their way out.

"Alex, to what do I owe the surprise of my two favorite people?" Olivia asked, trying not to seem nervous.

"Well, you left so early this morning, and seemed stressed last night, that I figured you didn't have time for breakfast," Alex said, handing Olivia a cup of coffee and a bag with a bagel in it.

"You didn't have to come all this way for that, but thank you," Olivia smiled as she sat the breakfast down and picked up Noah for a hug and a kiss.

"I decided before we got too far into unpacking today, that I wanted to get Noah out of the house, so we decided to go to the park," Alex said.

"He's gotten so big," Rollins said as she came up to see Noah. He reached for her.

"Aw, must be the new mom thing, Amanda," Olivia laughed and handed him over.

"Hey, little man, want me to show you around where your mamma works?" Rollins asked him, looking to Olivia to see if it was okay. Olivia nodded, and Rollins took Noah.

"Thanks again for breakfast, Alex," Olivia said they walked back into her office. "I was actually getting pretty hungry."

"Anything for my love," Alex said and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "So, what was everyone gathered in here for this morning? Must be pretty serious."

"Uh, just a well connected, uh, suspect," Olivia said. "It may not even pan out, so we want to make sure, first."

Alex nodded. "Ugh, those are the worst kind of suspects," she rolled her eyes.

Just then there was a knock on the office door. It was Barba.

"Lieutenant. Alex," Barba nodded his acknowledgments. He looked carefully at Olivia wondering why Alex was there and if she had told her yet. He then looked at Alex to see if her face looked upset. It didn't.

Alex picked up on the nervous look between Barba and Olivia but didn't say anything. She could tell Olivia had been acting strange but assumed it was just this case getting to her. She missed the days when she was their ADA and Olivia and her could talk more freely about the cases. But, since she was a judge now, they rarely talked about the details of cases in the off chance something were to ever be in front of Alex in court.

"You two obviously need to get to work," Alex finally said. "I'll grab Noah from Amanda, and I'll see you at home tonight."

"I'm not sure what time it will be, but I'll call," Olivia said.

Alex smiled and nodded before leaving Olivia's office.

"So, I take it that was just a social call?" Barba asked once he was sure Alex was far away from the office.

Olivia nodded. "Yes, and an unexpected one, at that."

"I'm sorry, Liv," he said. "If you think you need to tell her now, then..."

"No," she said. "I want to make damn sure what we're dealing with first before I put her through that."

"Okay, so where are we?" Barba asked.

#

"Detectives, what can I do for you today?" Robert Bailey asked when Dodds and Carisi entered his office. He was charming and gave them a big smile. He either had nothing to hide or was really good at playing his role. They weren't sure which it was yet.

"We're sorry to bother you like this, Mr. Bailey," Dodds started.

"Please, call me Robert," Robert cut him off.

"Okay, Robert," Dodds started again. "Like I said, we're sorry to bother you like this at work, but we were hoping you could help clear something up for us. We just need to ask a few questions, then we'll be out of your hair."

"Shoot," Robert said.

"Do you know a Ms. Katie Clark?" Carisi said, pretending to look at his notebook for the details.

"Yes, she is my fiancee," Robert said. "Did something happen to her?"

"Well, that's what we're hoping you can answer for us," Dodds said. "See, she came down to the station yesterday making some crazy allegations that you raped her. I mean, we see this kind of thing all the time, a woman gets mad at her partner and claims abuse or rape. But, you know, we just have to follow-up and get your side of the story."

Robert didn't even flinch at what Dodds was saying.

"Well, I can assure you, we've only ever had consensual sex, I mean, she is my fiancee," he said.

"Right, which is why some red flags came up with her story," Dodds said. They were playing to Robert's ego as instructed.

"I mean, we did have an argument the other night, but we made up, if you know what I mean," Robert said. "I'm not trying to be crude or anything, but she sometimes likes to be a little rough. I just want to make sure you know that anything we did, or have done, was all consensual."

"Of course," Dodds said. "That's what we suspected. Just a couple more questions and we'll let you get back to work."

Robert nodded.

"Did you see Katie yesterday?" Dodds asked.

"No, not after I left for work yesterday morning. I had a function last night, and we still have separate places, so I just assumed she stayed at her place last night," he said. "I didn't get home until late and just went to bed."

"What was your argument about?" Dodds asked.

"Typical stuff," Robert said. "I work too much, which is true. She's a bit clingy. I mean, I love her, but we've had this same fight over and over about how much time I spend at the office. I promised her that we would go away next weekend."

Robert had a somber look on his face like he was sad thinking about their fight. Dodds and Carisi couldn't get a good read on him other than he was almost too good to be true.

"Well, thank you for your time, Robert," Dodds said. "We'll be in touch if we need anything else. Hopefully, this all just blows over. In the meantime, though, I'd hold off on contacting Katie."

"Of course," Robert said. "And thank you for stopping by."

#

Back at the station, the squad gathered in Olivia's office again with Barba after lunch.

"So, where are we?" Olivia asked.

"Well, Bailey had an answer for everything," Dodds said. "Very charming guy."

"Yeah, too charming," Carisi said. "He didn't even flinch when we told him about the allegations. If it were me being accused of rape, and I was innocent, I think I'd be more than a little upset."

"Otherwise, though, he cooperated with us, but also didn't give away too much," Dodds said. "He's smart and won't be easy to crack."

"What about the rape kit, Rollins? Did it give us anything?" Olivia asked.

"Just that she did have sex, which it sounds like Robert confirmed," Rollins said. "Also, that her injuries were consistent with trauma, but there is no way to know if it was rape or rough sex."

"Again, which Robert also had an excuse for," Dodds sighed.

"We did some digging into his background, and he's as clean as a whistle, aside from a couple of civil litigation suits over work that were eventually dropped," Fin said. "But, we did maybe find something. A sealed juvey record."

"All juvenile records are sealed," Barba said.

"Right, but whatever it was, he had a buddy who was over age 18," Fin said. "When we tried to look up the charges, though, we found nothing. It's like whatever it was got wiped clean."

"Daddy's money, I'm guessing," Barba said. "Where did you find this?"

"An online message board from many years ago we found through archiving," Rollins explained. "His name popped up, and there was mention of an 'incident,' but we couldn't find what exactly. That's when we looked into the other guy and came up empty handed."

"Well, it's not much, but keep working that angle," Barba said. "Also, talk to Katie again and see if she can give us anything else. As of right now, we have a 'he said, she said' case, and with this guy's pull, I'm afraid it'll never see the light of day."

#

"Still here?" Barba asked Olivia as he popped his head into her office. "It's getting kind of late, you know?"

"I'm just finishing some paperwork," Olivia said.

"Finishing paperwork, or avoiding Alex?" he asked.

"Uh, well...," Olivia couldn't really think of anything else to say. "What are you even doing here?"

"I had a feeling you would still be here," he said. "Want to go for a drink?"

"That's the best thing I've heard all day," she said. "Just let me text Alex and make sure she's okay with Noah."

 _Hey, just leaving the office and going for a drink with Barba if that is okay. We're going over his trial coming up for an old case. How is Noah? - Liv_

 _Okay, I'll put leftovers in the fridge for you. Noah is wonderful, as usual. I'm enjoying my one-on-one time with him this week. What time will you be home? - Alex_

 _Thanks. I'm not sure what time it will be yet. A couple of hours probably. - Liv_

#

"So, is Alex all moved in?" Barba asked when they got to the bar.

"Yeah, and then some," Olivia laughed. "That woman has so much stuff. You wouldn't believe it."

"Oh, I would," Barba said. "So, what do you think about Bailey? Do you think he's our guy?"

"I want to think he's not, but everything in me says that he is, and I've never even met the guy," Olivia said. "I vaguely mentioned the case to Alex the other night."

"You what?" Barba said.

"She just wanted to know why I got called in on my day off," Olivia explained. "I told her it was a case of a woman who claimed she was raped by her fiancee. Alex's body tensed up a bit. Not much, but enough that I noticed."

"Do you think it means anything?" Barba asked.

"That's what I'm afraid of," she replied. "I dug through the old rape files this morning, hoping to find something that wouldn't fit him, but everything matches perfectly. The injuries. The statements. The type of person who would do this."

"You know, we're going to have to tell Alex soon, right?" Barba said.

"I know," Olivia said before finishing her scotch and ordering them another round.

#

When Olivia got home, it was much later than she anticipated. The apartment was dark aside from a lamp by the door Alex had left on for her. Not wanting to disturb Alex, she pulled a blanket and pillow out of the hall closet and made a bed on the couch for the night.

The next morning she woke to the sounds of Noah running through the apartment and saw Alex in the kitchen making coffee.

"Good morning," she mumbled.

Alex turned around and saw Olivia was awake. She grabbed another mug and poured Olivia some coffee as well before joining her on the couch with a bottle of aspirin.

"A couple of hours, my ass," Alex said flatly. Olivia could tell she was annoyed. "What time did you even get home?"

"I'm not sure," Olivia admitted. "Maybe around 1 am? I'm sorry."

"You should have at least texted," Alex said. "Here, for the hangover I assume you have." She handed the pills and coffee to Olivia.

"You're right, I should have," Olivia said. "I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

She did have a hangover, and her head was pounding. The last thing she wanted to do before work was argue with Alex.

"What is going on with you, Liv?" Alex asked. "You've been acting weird since, well since I moved in. Is that it? Are you freaking out about us moving in together?"

"What? No, Alex, of course not!" Olivia said. She was annoyed Alex would even think such a thing. "I've told you; work is just stressful right now."

"Yes, and work has been stressful before, for both of us," Alex said. "And usually, that means we come home and relax together, and talk about it."

"This is different," Olivia said.

"How is it different?" Alex asked exasperated.

"It just is, and I can't talk about right now," Olivia said. "I need to get Noah ready for Lucy."

"I told Lucy to come late this morning since I was here," Alex said. "I'll get him ready after you leave."

"Listen, Alex, I promise, it's just work, and I'll talk to you about it when I can," Olivia said, trying to de-escalate the situation. "Just know that I'm being careful, and there is no danger to anyone right now."

Alex sighed. More than anything, she was worried about Olivia's safety. She wanted her to open up, but she knew Olivia must have a good reason for not. But she did trust Olivia when she said she wasn't in danger.

"Fine, but I expect you home tonight, and no matter what time, you better drag your ass to bed, and not the couch again," Alex said placing a kiss on Olivia's lips. "I don't like waking up without you."

"I promise," Olivia smiled.

#

Over the next couple of days, the SVU squad was able to track down the women from the other rapes and began to collect new statements. They were fairly certain at this point that Robert was their rapist, but everything they had so far was circumstantial. The other women didn't know their attacker and their description fit half of the men in New York. White. Average height. Average build. Dark hair.

One of their victims gave them just enough to go on, however. A scar on the man's inner upper thigh. She said it was shaped like a 'J', and she remembered it because he had forced her to perform oral sex on him before he forced himself inside her.

"This is good," Olivia said when Rollins left the interview room. "Let's get Katie in here to confirm the scar."

"We may have a problem with that," Fin said, coming up behind where Olivia and Rollins were outside the interview room. "Katie is in the wind. No one has seen her since yesterday. She withdrew a lot of money from an ATM at 2 pm yesterday, and we haven't been able to track her since then."

"Her mother wouldn't even talk to us," Carisi said. "Just told us it was a misunderstanding and that she didn't know where Katie was."

"That bastard," Olivia said. "He paid her off to go away."

"So, how do we find out if he has a scar or not?" Carisi asked.

"Well, there's one way," Dodds said, giving Olivia an apologetic look.

"I'll talk to Alex tonight," Olivia said. "In the meantime, get Robert down here for an official interview."

"Who knows, maybe he'll give us permission to look for ourselves," Rollins chuckled.

"I doubt it," Olivia said. "Although, you are his type, so maybe you should do the interview this time. Rattle him a little. However, I wouldn't expect to see him here without his attorney. Make sure he knows he's entitled to counsel."

"We're on it," Dodds said.

Surprisingly, Robert came down the precinct rather quickly, and without his attorney.

"I've got nothing to hide," he told them.

"We'll see about that," Fin said as he and Rollins escorted him into the interview room.

"Listen, Robert," Rollins started. She was talking slowly. "May I call you Robert?"

"You can call me anything you want, sweetheart," Robert replied.

"The problem we have is that what Katie claims, also fits with some other unsolved rapes we have," she continued. Fin just sat there staring Robert down.

"You can't possibly believe I had anything to do with those," Robert said.

"I didn't say I believed it, but you know, my bosses, they just like us to be thorough," she said. She was laying on the flirting and the sexy accent and frequently licking her lips.

"So, what do you need from me?" Robert said, crossing his arms. He wasn't entirely taking the bait yet.

"There is an easy way to clear this up," she said. "The guy we're looking for has a scar on his inner thigh, shaped like a 'J.' If you'd let us take a look, we could clear this up fast."

"Sweetheart, as much as I'd love to give you a peek down there, make sure you tell your boss that won't happen without a warrant," he stonewalled. "Also, make sure to ask Lt. Benson how my slut of an ex-fiancee is?"

Robert was looking directly at the two-way mirror now. He knew Olivia had to be watching and had obviously done his homework. Olivia clenched her jaw before walking into the interview room.

"Mr. Bailey, this has nothing to do with Alex, so I suggest you leave her out of it," she said firmly.

"How's living together going?" He taunted. "You know, hopefully she's more faithful to you than she was me. Did she tell you she fucked one of her staff members, Jim Steele, the night before we got engaged?"

Olivia's eyes widened, and she took a deep breath. Though it wasn't of her concern back then, she didn't know about it.

"Like I said, this has nothing to do with Alex," Olivia said turned to leave.

"Well, I'd say this interview is over. If you'd like to speak to me again, make sure you do it through my attorney," he said and placed a business card on the table before leaving.

Robert walked out of the squad room and pushed the button for the elevators. When the doors opened, he saw Alex standing there, waiting to get off.

Alex's mouth dropped open as she saw her ex standing in front of her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Good to see you, Alex," he smiled.

"I'd say the same, but I'd be lying," she replied and walked by him. "Excuse me."

She stomped into the where the rest of the squad was standing.

"Olivia!" She yelled, emphasizing the 'O' in the word. The rest of the team gave Olivia a look that said they were scared for her before dispersing.

"Guess that conversation won't be waiting until tonight," Fin said. "Good luck."

Olivia motioned for Alex to come into one of the interrogation rooms. At least in there, she knew they would have more privacy and wouldn't be heard throughout the entire squad room. She pulled the shade before they entered.

"What the hell was Robert doing in your squad room?!" Alex said as soon as Olivia shut the door.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Yeah, I can't even sugarcoat this. This bad. And it doesn't even end here. Sorry :)

Thanks for the reviews and for reading. I still appreciate it. You are all wonderful!

* * *

CHAPTER 19

" _What the hell was Robert doing in your squad room?!" Alex said as soon as Olivia shut the door._

"Alex, relax for a minute," Olivia said. "Why don't we sit down?"

"Don't tell me to relax or sit down!" Alex yelled. "I asked you a question and from the look on your face, and the look on your squad's face when I walked in, there's something you're not telling me. So, I'll ask you again - what was Robert doing in your squad room?"

Alex had broken out the lawyer voice, and Olivia knew there was no getting around it. She didn't even know why Alex was there in the first place.

"Alex, what are you even doing here?" Olivia asked, still trying to avoid.

" _Goddammit, Olivia_!" Alex yelled again. Interrogation room or not, everyone in the squad room heard that. "Tell me!"

"He's a suspect in an assault we're investigating," Olivia finally said. "His fiancee, actually."

Alex took a deep breath. She didn't know if she was going to pass out from anger or shock. She grabbed the chair and finally sat down.

"So, this is what you've been keeping from me," Alex said flatly.

"Alex, we didn't even know for sure," Olivia explained. "We wanted to make sure, and I didn't want to drag you into it."

"What do you mean you didn't know for sure?" Alex said. "Did you have a reason to doubt his fiancee? If she said it happened, I'm _sure_ it happened."

"It's, uh, no, not really," Olivia said.

"There's something else you're not telling me," Alex said.

"What did you mean _you're sure it happened_?" Olivia asked.

Alex tensed up. "I just meant, we don't usually doubt our victims, do we?" She was deflecting, and Olivia knew it but decided this was a conversation for home rather than an interrogation room.

"No, you're right," Olivia said. "We don't."

"So what is it you're holding back?" Alex asked.

"Alex, we don't need to do this here," Olivia said.

"Well, we certainly haven't been talking about it at home, so this is as good a place as any," Alex gave Olivia a cold stare.

"There are others," Olivia said. "Other rapes and a murder that may be connected."

Alex drew a deep breath. She felt like the room was spinning, but put her hands on the table to ground herself.

"So, let me get this straight," Alex bitterly said to Olivia. "You're telling me my ex-fiancee may not only be a serial rapist, but a murderer, and my girlfriend, who is investigating it and who I just moved in with, is just now telling me about it?"

Olivia leaned her head against her hand on the table and looked down. She knew she fucked up.

"Alex, I was just trying to protect you," Olivia said. "I was afraid..."

"Afraid of what?" Alex snapped.

"You know what," Olivia said.

"No, whatever you're thinking, it didn't happen," Alex said. "And I'm leaving now."

"Wait, Alex, I do need to ask you one more question," Olivia said before Alex reached the door.

Alex just stared at her and crossed her arms.

"Robert. Does he have a scar on his inner thigh?" Olivia asked. She saw Alex's eyes widen, and it told her everything she needed to know about Robert.

"Yes," Alex said coldly. "It's shaped like the letter 'J.' Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home. I came here to see if we could go to dinner tonight, but I think I've lost my appetite."

"Alex, please," Olivia said. "I was going to tell you tonight. We just needed to be sure."

"Don't, Olivia," Alex said and slammed the door behind her before stomping off through the squad room.

As she reached the elevator, she saw Barba exiting.

"Alex, good to see you," he said.

"Shut up, Barba!" She snapped and walked by him to the elevator.

"What the hell?" Barba muttered before he saw the look on the rest of the SVU squad. "Oh, I guess Alex knows."

They nodded and pointed him toward Olivia, who was still in the interrogation room with her head on the table.

"It went that well, huh?" he asked.

"She saw him on his way out of the precinct," Olivia explained. "She confirmed the 'J' on this thigh, though."

"That's good enough for a warrant," he said. "Why don't you go home? There's nothing else you can do here tonight. I'm sure Dodds will call if they need anything."

The old Olivia would have fought going home tooth and nail, but with age, she had learned how to prioritize, or so she thought. All she knew right now is that she needed to make things right with Alex, and they needed to put Robert behind bars for a very long time.

"That's probably a good idea," she said. She then pulled out her phone to call Mrs. Peterson to ask if she would watch Noah overnight, who was happy to oblige.

#

Alex didn't go home immediately. She needed to cool off and took a walk through the park. She was furious with Olivia for not telling her. She knew Olivia was doing it to protect her, but this was not part of their deal of _no more secrets._ But she knew the second Olivia told her about Robert that he was guilty of raping his fiancee, and likely of the other rapes. She had a hard time wrapping her head around murder, but she knew very well what kind of man Robert could be in the bedroom. She also knew she was going to have to tell Olivia about it, as much as she never wanted to think about it again.

When she arrived home, Lucy was packing up Noah's overnight bag.

"What's going on?" Alex asked.

"Oh, didn't Olivia tell you?" Lucy said. "Mrs. Peterson is keeping Noah tonight. I was just getting him ready to take across the hall."

Alex nodded. She knew tonight was not going to be fun for either of them, but Noah being gone would, at least, give them the time they needed to sort it out...or, as she suspected, argue it out.

Olivia arrived home about an hour later to a quiet apartment.

"Alex?" She called out when she came through the door.

No answer.

"Alex? Are you here?" She said again walking toward the bedroom.

"In the bedroom," Alex called out. "I'll be right out."

Olivia took her coat off and hung it up before going to the kitchen to pour a glass of wine. She was hungry and was hoping there were some leftovers still in the fridge.

She made a plate of leftover Chinese food and sat on the couch waiting for Alex. She was nervous and knew that Alex was going to be still angry with her. She reasoned that it was a case and under normal circumstances, she wouldn't share the details with Alex. If Alex weren't her girlfriend, they wouldn't just track down all of Robert's ex's yet to find out about his behaviors. She was simply following protocol. That's what she kept telling herself, anyway.

Alex finally came out. She was in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a zip up hoodie. Olivia could tell Alex had been crying, and it nearly broke her heart when she saw it.

"Have you had dinner?" Olivia asked. "I was going to eat leftovers, but I can order us something if you want."

"No, thank you," Alex said. "I'm not hungry."

"Can we talk about this, Alex?" Olivia asked. She wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Oh, _now_ you want to talk?" Alex snapped. "Perhaps we should have talked days ago when you found out about this."

"Alex, I told you, we were just waiting to get more information," Olivia tried to reason. "We just wanted to follow protocol. I was going to tell you eventually."

"Eventually?!" Alex yelled. "And don't give me that protocol crap. When has SVU ever followed protocol? If you were following protocol, you wouldn't even be involved in the investigation of a family member."

"Well, technically..." Olivia said and regretted it as soon as the words came out.

"Oh, that's right," Alex said. "I'm not family. I'm just your girlfriend who lives with you and helps you raise your son. But no, I'm certainly not family."

"Alex, I didn't mean..."

"I don't care what you meant, Olivia!" Alex continued yelling. "I only care what you did! And what you did was break your promise to stop keeping secrets. On what planet would you think not telling me was the best option?"

"It wasn't just my decision," Olivia argued.

"Oh, stop it," Alex said. "Don't try to blame this on your squad or Barba. This was all you!"

"Fine!" Olivia said. "You're right. I should have told you, but do you know why I didn't?" She paused long enough to look Alex in the eyes.

"I didn't tell you because when I mentioned the case to you, about a man raping his fiancee, I saw your body tense, and _I knew. I knew_ he had done the same thing to you, and I couldn't bear the thought of you having to come to terms with that again and having to go through it!"

"I told you, nothing happened," Alex shot back.

"Now who is keeping secrets, Alex?" Olivia said. "Remember, I've been doing this for a long time. I can read behavior, and I know you. I know what he did to those women, and I know what makes you uncomfortable in the bedroom, and it's a lot like ..."

 _SLAP!_

 _"DON'T YOU DARE BRING OUR SEX LIFE INTO THIS_!" Alex screamed before storming off to the bedroom. Olivia sat on the couch with her hand on her stinging face.

"Fuck," Olivia mumbled.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: **TRIGGER WARNING**. If you are uncomfortable hearing some details of a sexual assault, proceed with caution.

* * *

CHAPTER 20

Olivia had finished her second glass of wine before she heard it. Sobbing coming from the bedroom. She knew Alex didn't want to talk to her right now, but she couldn't bear the thought of her hurting, knowing what she believed Robert had done to her.

She got up from the couch and walked to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door.

"Alex, sweetie," she said gently. "May I come in?"

She only heard a muffled "uh-huh" through the cries in the pillow. Alex was lying on the bed on her stomach with her face into a pillow.

Olivia laid on the bed beside Alex, on her side, and slowly put her hand on Alex's back to rub it. Alex rolled on her side to face Olivia, face red from tears. It was at that point that Olivia couldn't hold back her tears.

"Alex, baby, I'm so sorry," she said. "I know, I screwed up. I should have told you, and I have no excuse. I just was afraid of this. I couldn't bare to think about what he did to you."

"Liv..." Alex said.

"No, it's okay," Olivia said. "You don't have to tell me. I just hope you talked to someone, that you had some support."

"I did," Alex said. "I went to counseling for a short bit after I left him."

"Why didn't you press charges, Alex?" Olivia asked. "You know you could have called. Elliot and I would have done anything in our power to stop him."

"Because, I was tired of being a victim, Liv!" She said. "After Zapata and Witness Protection, I never wanted to feel that helpless again. So, I left him."

"So, it just happened once?" Olivia asked, somewhat relieved.

"Well, yes," Alex said. "He could be rough in bed, but he'd usually stop after I begged. I felt so broken then that I just went along with it."

"Alex, I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone," Olivia said, putting her hand on Alex's face to wipe away the tears.

"One night, he just wouldn't stop," Alex began crying. "It started as usual with light choking and holding me down. When I asked him to stop, he only began to push harder, telling me I was a whore and deserved it. I begged him to stop, and he kept going. The choking. The biting. All of it. He forced me to perform oral sex on him, and after I had gone to sleep thinking it was over, I woke up with him holding me down again and raping me from behind." Alex was sobbing by this point, and Olivia pulled her into a hug.

"Liv, I've heard all of these stories from SVU and the Congo," Alex continued. "I know what to do, but at that moment, and afterwards, I was frozen. Everything I knew went out the door. I left him the next day, though."

"Alex, that's common," Olivia said. "No one deserves that, nor is there a right or wrong way to handle it. You were brave for leaving."

"When were the other women raped?" Alex asked.

"Before you and he were together," Olivia said. "Even if you went to the police, it wouldn't have changed anything."

"But it would have for Katie," Alex said.

"No, Alex, don't do that," Olivia told her. "If the system would have caught him years ago, and not let his family pay is way out of everything since he was a teenager, it would have stopped him. This is not your fault."

"I can come to the precinct tomorrow," Alex finally said after calming down.

"Alex, you don't have to do that," Olivia said.

"No, you need a statement," Alex said. "The more witnesses and evidence you have, the better."

"Alex, I can take your statement," Olivia told her. "You don't need to go down there."

"Yes, Liv, I do," Alex said. "If I was the judge and the girlfriend of the witness took the statement, I would throw it out. I'll go down tomorrow and give a statement, preferably to Amanda or Fin."

Olivia nodded. She knew Alex was right.

Just then, her phone rang.

"It's Fin," Olivia said. "He can leave a message."

"No, get it," Alex said. "He wouldn't call unless it was important."

" _Benson," Olivia said answering the phone. "Oh my god, where?" She looked at the Alex. "I'll be right there."_

"What is it?" Alex asked.

"Katie's body was just found dead in an alley," Olivia said.

"No, no, no, no..." Alex said repeatedly.

"Alex it's okay," Olivia said. "I'll call Casey. She can come stay with you."

"The hell! I'm going with you," Alex said.

"Alex, you can't do that," Olivia said. "You'll stay here with Casey or you can come to the precinct."

"Fine, let's go to the precinct," Alex said.

#

Olivia dropped Alex off at the precinct before heading to the crime scene. She knew, at least, Alex would be safe there, and she knew Barba and Rollins would be there with her.

"Can I get you anything, Alex? Coffee? Tea?" Rollins asked.

"Tea would be nice," Alex said sitting down in Olivia's office with Barba.

"Are you okay, Alex?" Barba asked.

"A lot better off than Katie," she said flatly. "I told Liv I would give me statement to Amanda tonight."

"Okay, we can do that later," Barba said. "Would it be okay if I asked you a few questions about Robert?"

Alex nodded.

"Do you think he's capable of murder?" Barba asked. "I mean, the rapes, we're going to get him on, but proving murder will be harder and doesn't seem to fit his personality. Of course, you know him better than any of us."

"I don't know," Alex said. "I mean, no, I don't think so, but I also never pegged him for a serial rapist, either."

"Fair enough," Barba said. "Does he own any guns?"

"No, not that I ever saw," Alex said. "Why? Is that how Katie and the other victim were killed?"

Barba nodded. "Yes. The prior victim had been raped a few days, we think, before the murder. The MO was similar to the other rapes. Same thing with Katie. Our working theory, before tonight, was that maybe the first victim could identify him, and he killed her to keep her quiet. The other two rape victims didn't know their attacker, so there wouldn't be any reason to kill them. Katie, of course, could, and did identify him."

Alex sat quietly. Something didn't sit right with her. She had assumed the murder had been the result of the assault getting out of hand. She had never even heard Robert mention guns, nor seen any in their home when she lived there. Of course, there was a lot she didn't know about Robert.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Sorry, I took last night off so I could watch the new SVU and Criminal Minds. Hope everyone is still enjoying. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

* * *

CHAPTER 21

It was very early in the morning when Olivia and Alex returned home from the precinct. They didn't have much to go on with Katie's murder. She had been shot elsewhere and dumped in an alley, and so far, no DNA or evidence left that they could identify or tie to Robert or anyone else. Olivia had ordered the squad to all go home and get some sleep before returning. She had a few hours still before she needed to pick up Noah, and wanted to try and sleep as much as possible.

Olivia was worried about Alex. She didn't say anything on the ride home from the precinct. Olivia knew Alex was still angry with her and had every right to be angry. However, she was more concerned about Alex's emotional state after not only revealing to her what Robert had done but then having to repeat it to Amanda and be asked questions about Robert from Barba.

When Alex got into bed, she wrapped herself up in the covers and rolled herself to the far side of the bed with her back to Olivia. Olivia was torn. On one hand, she wanted to wrap her girlfriend in her arms and tell her she was there and that it would be okay. On the other hand, having experience dealing with survivors of rape, she knew Alex may not want to be touched right now, having just relived her experience. Of course, there was the possibility that Alex wouldn't want Olivia near her right now anyway since she was angry. Olivia spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling rather than sleeping.

Olivia was right. All Alex wanted to do was curl up in a ball and try to sleep and forget the nightmare of Robert...again. She was grateful for the space Olivia was giving her, but now that her disclosure about Robert was over, she was reminded why she was so angry with Olivia in the first place. She finally drifted to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

#

Alex woke the next morning to an empty and quiet apartment and a note on the nightstand.

 _Alex -_

 _I asked Lucy to take Noah out all day. She picked him up early. I thought maybe you could use the day to yourself._

 _I'm at the precinct, and there is coffee in the machine and bagels on the counter. Call me when you wake up._

 _I love you more than anything, always._

 _Love, Liv_

Alex put the note back down and rolled her eyes. Olivia was doing exactly what she didn't want her to do - treating her differently. It's why she didn't tell Olivia about Robert in the first place. More than anything, Alex Cabot wanted to be treated as a strong person, and not a victim.

#

Back at the precinct, the squad and Barba and gathered around to go over evidence from the prior night and see if there was anyway to connect it to Robert.

"Please tell me we have something to nail this son of a bitch," Olivia pleaded.

"Well, not exactly," Carisi said. "Not yet, anyway, but we do have something."

Carisi moved to the evidence board and began showing bullet fragments on the screen. He continued.

"Okay, so one of the slugs retrieved from Katie, and it's markings, is a match to one from an old unsolved murder. There was a suspect in that case, but no arrest was ever made," Carisi explained.

"Okay, so who was the suspect?" Barba asked.

"That's the thing," Carisi said. "All the names were redacted."

"What? Why?" Olivia said.

"We don't know, but we can tell you this, it happened in the same neighborhood of the Hamptons where Robert grew up, and at the same time as his mystery incident," Carisi finished.

"The one thing that doesn't make sense, though, is that Alex said she never saw Robert with guns, and he never talked about them," Barba said. "Not even shooting for sport."

"Maybe he's not the shooter," Fin said. "Maybe someone else does his bidding for him."

"Look into this friend of his, James Hill," Olivia said. "See if he likes to play with guns, and find someone who can give us more information on this old mystery murder. Someone out there has to be willing to talk. Dodds, take Carisi for a drive out to the Hamptons. Fin and Rollins, do some digging here on Hill."

Everyone left the squad room except for Barba and Olivia.

"How is Alex this morning?" Barba asked sympathetically.

"I don't know," Olivia said. "She hasn't said a word since we left here last night."

"Maybe you want to see if she knows this James Hill guy," Barba suggested. "It may help take her mind off what happened to her, and help her feel herself again."

Olivia nodded with a bit uncertainty.

"Listen, Liv, you obviously know Alex better than I do, but from what I know of Alex, I know that she is going to hate what you're doing right now," Barba said.

"What's that?" Olivia snapped.

"You're treating her like a victim," Barba said. "Don't get me wrong, Liv, you're great at your job, and you're great with our witnesses. They need that. But Alex is your girlfriend, and well, Alex is Alex. Don't treat her like you would any other witness."

Olivia sighed. "Your right. I guess I have been doing that, from the beginning."

"Listen, in the beginning, you had your reasons, and we all agreed to it, right or wrong," Barba told her. "But now, she can help us. And if that helps her, let her."

Olivia nodded. "I'll call her and ask her to come down."

Barba left, and Olivia plopped down in her chair. She hadn't considered that she was treating Alex with kid gloves and like she treated other witnesses; probably even more gentle because she was her girlfriend and she couldn't stand to see her hurting. Of course Alex hated that.

She picked up the phone and called Alex.

"Hey, Alex," Olivia said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Olivia," Alex said coldly.

"You're still upset; I get it," Olivia said. Alex didn't reply. She was still upset.

"I just thought if you wanted to come down to the precinct, maybe you could help us out with some background on Robert," Olivia continued. "I mean if you want to."

"Oh," Alex said. This wasn't what she was expecting Olivia to be calling about. "Yeah, sure. I'll be there soon."


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Uh oh...That's all :) Also, thanks so much for _stillllll_ reading this story. I love your comments. You are all great.

* * *

CHAPTER 22

"Do you know James Hill?" Olivia asked Alex when she arrived at the squad room. Olivia pulled out a photo of the man in question.

"Yeah, he's a friend of Robert's," Alex replied. "Why? Do you think he's involved?"

Barba immediately gave Olivia a look. They both recognized the tone in Alex's voice that said whatever had been going on in her head was gone, at least, for the moment. Lawyer Alex had returned.

"We're not sure yet," Barba said. "From what we know, they have known each other since teenagers. What kind of person is he?"

"Yeah, I remember that," Alex said. "They grew up near each other. I think something bad happened to James' parents, though. I just know he and Robert lived together for a while when they were teenagers."

"Is he a violent person?" Olivia asked.

"I was only around him a handful of times, but I would say he could handle himself in a fight better than Robert could," Alex smirked.

"There was an incident when they were teenagers," Olivia said. "We don't know what because daddy's money made it go away, but what we do know is that Hill was 18, and Robert was 17. Obviously, Robert's record is sealed, but the interesting thing is that even Hill's record is heavily redacted. Most of the information we got was from an archived blog online, and not from the case file. Anyone you know that could get the original file?"

"Liv, she can't do that," Barba warned. "Anyone she is tied to is suspect."

"He's right, but what if the favor didn't come from me?" Alex asked.

"Alex, you're a judge, what do you think?" Barba said.

"I'd say it smells rotten, but if Robert is out there raping people and having them killed, I'd say I'd trust you to keep any evidence we get kept in," Alex said.

"Only if we need to," Barba said. "Let's see what everyone else comes up with first."

Barba trusted Alex could get any information she wanted, and keep it discreet, but he also didn't want Olivia and Alex to become a target. Playing it safe was best for them right now.

#

The work day was near ending, and the SVU wasn't any closer to tying the rapes or murders to Robert or James. Olivia knew they could get the warrant to find out if Robert had the scar, but if that was all the evidence they had, it would only weaken their case if they wanted to get him on the murders. Barba suggested they hold off since there was nothing in the pattern to suggest Robert would rape again anytime soon.

Alex had left hours ago. Olivia almost suggested Rollins drive her home, but she stopped herself and remembered what Barba told her about treating Alex like a witness. She just asked her to call as soon as she got there, and promised to be home soon with dinner. Alex did, and it allowed Olivia to relax a bit as she was starting finishing up some reports to end the day.

"Lieutenant, a Mr. Franklin is here to see you," Rollins said as she poked her head in Olivia's office. "He's Robert Bailey's attorney."

Olivia stood up from her desk and put out her hand to shake Mr. Franklin's outreached hand.

"Please, have a seat," she motioned. "What can I do for you? We haven't requested any more information from your client."

"Actually, I'm here to give you some information," he said handing her a manilla envelope that was sealed. "You'll probably want to look at that while you're alone. I'm just here to politely let you know that neither of my clients, Mr. Bailey, nor Mr. Hill, have anything to do with any rapes or the unfortunate murder of Katie."

Olivia looked at him curiously.

"Yes, I'm representing Mr. Hill as well," he said. "Now, I'm sure once you see what is in there, and what it could mean for certain involved parties, you may want to reconsider sending your detectives out to dig for things that aren't there."

"Is that a threat?" Olivia asked him, staring him down.

"Of course not, Lieutenant," he said. "Like I said, I'm just here to provide you with information that you may find interesting."

Franklin rose from the chair. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get going, but it was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Benson."

On his way out, he passed Barba, who was on his way to Olivia's office.

"Who was that?" Barba asked.

"Apparently both Bailey and Hill's attorney," she answered.

"What did he want?" He asked.

"To give me this," she held up the envelope.

Olivia laid the envelope on her desk after Barba shut the door and slowly opened it, pulling out a series of photos.

Photos of Olivia and Alex, at some point after she returned to SVU the first time. Photos of Olivia and Alex after she returned from the Congo. Photos of Olivia and Casey. Photos of Olivia and Tucker, and others. And one very explicit photo of Alex and Jim Steele on Alex's desk. Photos of Alex in more non-traditional bedroom situations. It was a given those were taken with Robert, since it looked like a bedroom that would be his, but it certainly didn't look like Alex knew she was being photographed. Which also meant there could be videos.

"Oh, God," Olivia said. There were dozens of photos. All of them had time and date stamps and showed both Olivia and Alex in compromising positions. Hugging. Kissing. Someone had followed Alex after her and Robert broke up...for a long time. And someone had obviously followed her as well, probably after Robert figured out she and Alex had been involved. But the photo of Alex and Jim, Olivia had no idea how they got that one since all the others had mostly been outdoors. Robert had more pull and reach than they even thought to start.

"Robert clearly keeps tabs on anyone he thinks could ever expose him for the scum he is," Barba said. "Liv, don't worry about this. Everyone knows you and Alex are together."

"Yeah, but she was our ADA when these photos were taken," Olivia said. "Casey wasn't, but it could be implied. And the photos of Alex and ... " Olivia didn't even want to think of the photo of Alex and Jim. She wasn't jealous, but she certainly didn't want to look at it.

"What if he has videos of Alex, uh, in bed? I don't care about my career. I'm happy and could put in my papers, but Alex's career? This could destroy it and get her disbarred to boot," Olivia said.

"It could, but come on, this can be explained," Barba tried to lie. "Your relationship with Alex never affected the outcome of any cases from the best I can tell."

"Yeah, but you know as well as I do that it doesn't matter," Olivia said. "What the hell are we going to do?"

"We're going to go after Robert with everything we have until we get more dirt on him than he thinks he has on you and Alex," Barba said forcefully. "SVU is family. Isn't that what you all always say? He goes after one of us; he goes after all of us. And Alex is as much family as any of us."

Olivia just nodded. She was pretty sure she could begin vomiting at any point.

"So, how are you going to tell Alex?" He finally asked.

"I have no idea," she said.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: Happy April Fools' Day...except no fooling in this one. Cabot and Benson are prepping to be on the warpath. Glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter so much...I think you'll like how Olivia handles this.

Also, I made a continuity error with Casey and Liv in the last chapter. Originally I wrote Casey was ADA (when Liv first told Barba); and in the last chapter, I said she wasn't...SO I fixed that mistake here. Sorry about that :)

* * *

CHAPTER 23

" _Keeping secrets hasn't worked out for me in the past."_

Olivia reminded herself of the words she told Barba before revealing to the court that Johnny D. was Noah's biological father. It was true then, and it had to be true now. Keeping secrets hadn't work for her, especially with Alex. She knew she had to share this new information with Alex as much as it was going to hurt.

When she arrived home, she kept the envelope safely tucked in her bag. Her agenda for the night was simple...at least the beginning of it. She wanted to have dinner with her family, give Noah a bath, read him a bedtime story, and then she would tell Alex about the photos.

"Hey, sweetheart, you're home already," Alex said when she looked up and saw Olivia. "Anything new?"

"We can talk about that later," Olivia said. "Right now, I just want to have dinner with you and Noah. And, I brought your favorite."

She held up the bags from Alex's favorite Italian restaurant and saw the giant smile on Alex's face. She hadn't seen that in a couple of days.

"Well, why don't you get Noah from his room," Alex said. "He's busy building, uh, something with his blocks. I'll get plates out for our dinner."

Olivia sat the bags on the kitchen counter and walked down the hall to see Noah sitting on the floor of his bedroom. Like Alex said, he was busy building _something_ , but what that was, she had no idea. But Noah was happy, and Olivia had to keep reminding herself that his smile could solve any problem she was having. Keeping Noah happy was as simple as giving him love. Keeping Alex happy, on the other hand, especially after she saw those photos, was going to be more challenging.

Olivia picked up Noah and took him to the dining room. The three of them sat down and ate dinner while both Olivia and Alex at least tried to temporarily forget about Robert and this case. It was a surprisingly relaxing night through dinner, and Noah's bath and bedtime. Alex stayed by her side and part of Olivia knew that as long as she had this, her family, that life would be okay. It was what she had to keep reminding herself of as the time to tell Alex grew closer.

After Noah was asleep, both women retreated to the living room. It was time.

"Wine?" Olivia asked walking to the kitchen.

"No, Liv, I'm good," Alex said. "Those two glasses with dinner did me in."

Alex watched Olivia pour herself an extra large glass of wine.

"Liv, you had quite a bit at dinner two," Alex said carefully. "More than me, even. Are you sure you want more tonight?"

Olivia shot Alex a look. "Alex, not tonight, please. Besides, I'm going to need it to get through this."

Alex nodded, unsure of what it was Olivia needed to get through. However, she could tell by the look on Olivia's face that now was not the time to tell her to take it easy on the wine.

Olivia returned to the couch where Alex was, bringing her glass of wine and bag from work with her.

"So, Robert's attorney stopped by this evening before I left," Olivia said slowly.

"What did he want?" Alex said.

"To give me a warning," Olivia said reaching in the bag.

"A warning? He can't -" Alex was cut off by Olivia raising her hand to wave her off.

Olivia began to slowly pull the photos out of the envelope. She had placed them strategically in there, so the worst ones weren't the first thing Alex saw. Part of her hoped that after a couple of photos, Alex wouldn't want to see anymore, but she knew the likelihood of that was slim to none.

The first photos were of them after Alex had returned to SVU after being out of Witness Protection for three years. They were arguing on the street in front of Olivia's apartment. They both remembered that night. Olivia was so angry with Alex for not telling her she was back or returning her calls. Then Alex kissed her. Right there on the street and Olivia, even though she was still angry, kissed her back and pulled her inside the building.

"What. The. Hell?" Alex said. "Robert had me followed?"

Olivia nodded and took another drink of her wine as Alex flipped through the next few photos. More photos of her and Olivia. Pre-Congo. Post-Congo. Some of them were when she was the ADA; some weren't. Either way, she knew what it meant.

"Look, Liv, it's fine," Alex said. "We've disclosed now, and we never were together officially then. I'm sure we can deal with this."

Olivia then laid out the next set of photos. Olivia with Casey right after Alex told her she was leaving for the Congo.

"Wait, I thought you and Casey only slept together once, after the Connors trial?" Alex was confused.

"We did," Olivia said. "We didn't sleep together here. I was upset about, well, you, and she took me out for drinks. We kissed that night, which is what you see here. That's all, though."

"So, why are there photos of you and not me?" Alex asked.

"Barba and I think Robert had you, and probably anyone else who had any dirt on him, followed, and once he figured out we had a relationship, and who I was, he followed me as well," Olivia explained. "All to hurt you if he ever needed to."

"That bastard!" Alex said and ran her hands through her hair. "Again, Liv, this is okay. Casey wasn't even the ADA then. And these others, they don't matter. I mean, you and Tucker disclosed, right?"

Olivia nodded. "Alex, there's more."

Olivia then pulled out the photo of Alex and Jim. She couldn't even look at it.

"Fuck," Alex said.

"Yeah, that's what it looks like," Olivia made an attempt at a joke, but it wasn't taken well from Alex who shot her an evil look.

"I don't understand, though, this was before Robert and I were even engaged," Alex said. "The night before actually."

"What?!" That profession shocked Olivia a bit.

"Please, Liv, don't judge me," Alex said coldly.

"I'm not, Alex," Olivia said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything. I was just surprised."

"Okay, yes, this is bad," Alex said. "Please tell me there isn't more."

Olivia sighed and pulled out the final pictures. The ones of Alex in bed with Robert, even though Robert wasn't in any of the photos. The photos that were of perfectly normal things for two consenting adults to be doing in their bedroom, but that you didn't want to share with the world.

"Son of a bitch!" Alex yelled. "He took photos?! That sick pervert."

Olivia just sat quietly hoping Alex didn't think about the possibility of there being videos as well.

"So what? He's going to make these public if you don't drop the case?" Alex growled.

"His lawyer didn't say that in so many words," Olivia replied. "But, yeah, it was implied."

"You can't do that, Liv," Alex said.

"Alex, you know as well as I do that this doesn't look good...for either of us," Olivia said. "Now, I've got enough time in, I can put papers in, retire and live comfortably with Noah."

"Yeah, does that include supporting your unemployed and disbarred girlfriend?" Alex said sarcastically.

"What? The Cabot Family fortune isn't enough for you?" Olivia teased, trying to lighten the moment.

"Very funny, Liv," Alex rolled her eyes.

"Listen, Alex," Olivia started. "I know you want justice. I do, too, and we're going to get it, but I can't let this man destroy your livelihood. Like I said, I can walk away now. I have you and Noah, and my retirement, and that's enough. But you, Alex, we both know this isn't about a job for you, either. This is about the fact that you love what you do, being able to seek justice, and be a shining light in our legal system."

Olivia paused to gauge Alex's reaction before continuing.

"So, no, we're not going to drop this, as much as I want to protect all of that for you. We're going to trust the system that we've both given our lives to and trust that in the end, the good guys will and the bad guys go away for a long time."

"Liv..." Alex said. "You're right. I love what I do, but if I have to, I'll walk away because you and Noah are all I need, too."

"No doubts, Alex," Olivia said. "We're going to fight this as a team with SVU. We're going to go after Robert hard, and you know that my detectives are some of the best at what they do. I can't promise what Robert will or won't do, but I can promise you that we will get justice and that no matter what, you have Noah and me. Always."

"And the Cabot Family fortune," Alex joked finally.

"Yeah, that, too," Olivia laughed, and leaned in to give Alex a gentle kiss. "I love you, Alex Cabot, and we'll get through this."


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Glad everyone liked how Olivia handled telling Alex. Hoping you enjoy this chapter, too. Also, I have some family time planned for Olivia, Alex, and Noah planned after this Robert mess is cleared up. They're going to need it.

Let me know if there is anything else you'd like to see.

* * *

CHAPTER 24

Olivia Benson woke up with a brilliant idea. Risky, but brilliant enough that it just might work. She looked over at Alex still sleeping beside her and slowly got out of bed, trying not to wake the blonde. Once she was sure she was out of earshot, she pulled out her cellphone and dialed a familiar number.

" _I need a favor," she said into the phone. "It's for Alex."_

Half an hour later, her idea was in play. Of course, she would have to tell Alex and Barba about it first, but everything was ready to go.

#

"You got up early," Alex said when she finally got out of bed and walked into where Olivia was playing with Noah. "Please tell me you slept better than I did?"

"Probably not since I was awake to hear you tossing and turning all night," Olivia got up and gave Alex a kiss. "When are you going back to work?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Alex said. "I requested another week of personal leave. I'm glad I did now because, after last night, there would be no way I would be able to focus on a trial."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that," Olivia said. "Lucy should be here anytime to pick up Noah for daycare, and I left word that I would be at home this morning if the squad needs anything."

Alex looked at Olivia curiously. She wanted to know what Olivia was up to but knew that until Noah was gone, she wouldn't get anything out of her. She made her way into the kitchen for coffee and found fresh bagels waiting on her.

"Wow, you really were busy this morning, weren't you?" She asked when she came back to where Olivia and Noah were.

"Not busy, just focused on my priorities," Olivia smiled, trying to hide the nervousness. She did have a plan, and was certain that it _could_ work, but whether it _would_ work or not was another question.

Lucy came to pick up Noah and no sooner had the door closed than Alex wanted to know what Olivia had planned.

"So, what is it?" Alex asked.

"Someone is impatient, aren't they?" Olivia teased. She knew patience was not one of Alex's finer qualities. Alex rolled her eyes.

"Just tell me," Alex said.

"I told the squad this morning to stop pursuing Robert's case," Olivia said.

"What?!" Alex snapped. "Olivia, we agreed you can't do that!"

"No, we agreed we would continue going after Robert," Olivia said. "I didn't say it had to be SVU."

"So, what, you turned it over to a different department? Olivia, I don't like the sound of that," Alex said.

"Relax," Olivia smirked. "I just called in some reinforcements."

Alex gave Olivia a confused look and allowed her to continue.

"I called Stabler and Munch," Olivia finally explained.

"But, why?" Nothing was making sense to Alex right now.

"Well, we know that Robert has been following you and me, or, at least, was," Olivia said. "Which means that now that SVU is on his radar, that means he's probably tracking every single squad member we have. He's going to know the minute we talk to a witness or go digging. But Stabler and Munch, he'd have no reason to suspect anything."

"So, you want them to get the evidence we need against Robert, but let Robert think we're dropping it so he won't release those, ugh, photos," Alex said and looked over at the envelope on the table.

Olivia nodded.

"It's risky," Alex said. "It's a good idea, but it's risky."

"I know, Alex," Olivia said. "But the only chance we have at keeping those photos private is to let Robert think he's off the hook until we have more on him than he has on us."

Alex took a deep breath. Olivia was right. And the worst that could happen is Robert finding out and releasing the photos, which was already worst case scenario.

"So who all is going to be involved? Alex asked.

"Just Stabler, Munch, and Cragen," Olivia said.

Alex smiled. If there were a group of people she trusted with her life, besides Olivia, it would include those guys.

#

Olivia and Alex arrived at the precinct after lunch and met with the SVU squad and Barba to relay the new plan. They had already discussed it with Barba beforehand.

"So, we just do nothing?" Carisi asked.

"No, you continue doing your job, working on other cases," Olivia said. "Don't go anywhere near Robert, James Hill, or anyone else associated with this case, and if anyone asks about the murder, tell them we believe it was random and that we don't have any leads to go on."

The group all nodded in agreement. They didn't like not being able to do anything, but they knew it was the best course of action. Olivia assured them that any evidence or information collected by the others would be shared with them, but since they didn't know how far Robert's reach went within NYC, Munch had called in some favors in Baltimore to get anything processed that needed to be done.

"I'll call Robert's attorney and let him know we have appreciated the cooperation of his client and apologize for any _misunderstandings_ ," Barba said raising his eyebrows. Everyone nodded and went back to their work of not working on this case.

#

That night, Olivia put Noah down for bed and found Alex sitting nervously on the side of their bed.

"Alex," she moved over and sat next to Alex. "Don't worry. They know what they're doing."

"I know, Liv," Alex said. "I just hate that I drug you into this with Robert."

"No, Alex," Olivia said. "Robert did this. He killed Katie. He hurt those other girls. And he hurt you. Robert did this to himself."

"Yeah, but if I never had gotten involved with him..." Alex said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Alex, you had your reasons," Olivia said. "You had just gotten back from Witness Protection for God's sake. You went through a traumatic experience and did what you thought was best. Listen, honey; Robert fooled a lot of people for a long time, so don't blame yourself for this."

Alex stared at Olivia's eyes. She had never felt so much love in her life from anyone, despite what was happening. She gave Olivia a soft smile. She was so in love, and Olivia's eyes told her that no matter what, as long as they had each other, they really would get through this.

Alex put her arms around Olivia and pulled her in for a soft, long, kiss. It was a longer and more passionate kiss than they had shared in a few days. Alex knew Olivia was being careful around her since her disclosure of what Robert had done, but she also wanted Olivia to know that she felt safe with her.

"I've missed this," Alex said when she pulled away and nodded toward the rest of the bed.

"Are you sure, Alex?" Olivia said carefully. "I mean, I know you're still..."

"Liv," Alex warned. "I'm asking you to take me to bed...now." She gave Olivia a smirk that assured Olivia that it was what she really did want. Olivia did, too, and she leaned back in to kiss Alex, before laying her down on the bed.

"Olivia, I want you to know that I trust you, and I always will," Alex said. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Alex, and now I'm going to show you how much," Olivia smiled.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Sorry the update took a little longer. We're rolling forward to the confrontation with Robert!

* * *

CHAPTER 25

Alex walked into the 16th Precinct the following day around lunch time, bringing Olivia a salad and sandwich from a nearby deli. The squad room was usually quiet, and Alex noticed nearly everyone was gone or working on paperwork. When she knocked on Olivia's door, she noticed the brunette was doing the same.

"Alex, I wasn't expecting to see you," Olivia smiled when she looked up to see her girlfriend.

"Who else is going to make sure you eat lunch?" Alex replied. She gave Olivia a cute smirk and tilted her head while holding up their food.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Olivia said before getting out of her seat and placing a kiss on Alex's cheek.

"Not since this morning," Alex blushed. In addition to last night's activities, they had both woke before Noah this morning, which was rare, and made good use of their time before Olivia had to go to work.

Olivia and Alex began to dig into their meals. Olivia didn't bother to eat breakfast this morning, instead opting for coffee only, so Alex bringing food was a godsend for her.

"So, anything new?" Alex finally asked.

"No," Olivia said. "I texted El earlier, and he told me he'd check in with me this evening. They have a plan in place, and we decided that the less we knew about it, the better."

"Are you serious?" Alex asked.

"Yes, Alex," Olivia said. "I've learned that sometimes you just have to trust."

"Really? Olivia Benson is stepping aside and trusting someone else to take care of something for her?" Alex asked.

"When it's my family at stake, and it's the best plan, yes," Olivia said. "Besides, change can be good sometimes."

"If you say so," Alex said.

The two women sat in silence as they finished their food. The conversation was hard for both of them right now as Robert had taken over both their thoughts and they hadn't spent that much time being able to enjoy anything else.

"I was thinking," Olivia said.

"Don't hurt yourself, Lieutenant," Alex said and gave Olivia a smile.

"Okay, smarty, maybe I won't tell you what I was thinking," Olivia said. Alex shot her a look that told her she better spill. "I thought that after this is all over, we should go away for a few days. At least for a weekend."

"You mean run away in case I can't ever show my face in New York City again?" Alex said and rolled her eyes.

"Alex, that isn't going to happen," Olivia said. "I told you, we have to trust that all of this will work out."

Alex nodded. "I know. And yes, I think getting away for a weekend when this is all over is a fantastic idea. We'll all need it."

Just then, Rollins knocked on Olivia's office door and popped her head in.

"L.T., I have that update on the Hansen case you asked for," Rollins said. "Should I come back?"

Alex got up. She knew that was her cue to leave seeing as how she already had more of Olivia's time than she expected.

"I was just leaving, Amanda," Alex said. "Olivia, I'll see you when you get home."

Olivia nodded and watched Alex leave her office, trying not to stare too hard since Amanda was standing right there. She knew not being able to do anything was weighing on Alex; it was on hers, too, but she was trying to stay as strong as possible for Alex. Part of that meant giving up control and letting Elliot take care of it.

"Liv?" Olivia suddenly realized Amanda was talking. She hadn't heard a word she said about the Hansen case.

"I said the DNA confirms he's our rapist. Do you want us to pick him up?" Amanda asked again.

"Oh, yes, sorry," Olivia said. "Why don't you and Fin do that now."

"Okay, we will," Rollins said and started to leave before stopping at the door. "Liv, this is going to be okay, you know?"

"Yeah, I know, I just wish Alex knew that," Olivia said.

Rollins nodded and gave Olivia a soft smile before leaving her office.

#

Olivia arrived home that evening and still hadn't heard from Elliot. She figured he would call or text soon. She had partially succeeded in not obsessing over the case all day, and was looking forward to a relaxing night with Alex and Noah.

"Heard anything from Elliot yet?" Alex asked after they finished dinner.

"Nothing yet," Olivia said. "But he'll call as soon as he has something."

Olivia watched as Alex tried not to roll her eyes. She was quiet all through dinner and was still quiet as she loaded the dishwasher while Olivia got Noah ready for a bath. Olivia figured her best bet would just be to let it go. Alex was understandably worried and had every right to feel that way.

Alex retreated to the living room while Olivia was giving Noah his bath. Olivia's phone buzzed with a text message and Alex, allowing her instinct to take over about Robert, picked up the phone to see what it was.

 _Liv - We have something. I'll call in about half an hour. But you can't tell anyone yet - the squad, Barba, and especially Alex. - Stabler_

Alex tossed the phone back down. Olivia hadn't kept any more secrets from her that she knew of, but the possibility of her doing it upset her. She knew it was crazy since Olivia hadn't even talked to Elliot to keep anything from her yet, but she was still upset.

Olivia finished getting Noah ready for bed and made her way back to the living room to find Alex staring off at nothing.

"Alex, you're worrying again," Olivia said.

"Yeah, well, what the hell am I supposed to do, Olivia?" Alex said. "I mean, I can't do anything. I can't investigate. I can't talk to Robert. I can't even trust that you're telling me everything."

"Alex, what are you talking about?" Olivia said. "You know I have."

"Yeah, well apparently Stabler doesn't think that," Alex said. She got up and handed her the phone before walking back to the bedroom.

Olivia looked down and saw the last text message from Elliot. _Crap_ , she thought. Even if she hadn't kept anything from Alex, or even intended to, Elliot certainly didn't help. She took off to the bedroom when her phone started ringing. It as Elliot.

"Benson."

" _Liv, I have some information for you, but you need to sit on it until we can confirm it," Elliot said._

"Actually, El, can you hang on for a second," Olivia said and walked into the bedroom where Alex was. She turned the phone on speaker. "Okay, Elliot, I'm here with Alex..."

Alex's eyes widened in surprise.

" _Olivia, I don't think...," Elliot said._

"Elliot, I'm not keeping anything from Alex," Olivia said, her eyes staring at Alex. "She's strong enough to handle it."

" _Uh, okay, then," he said. "We were able to track down some other ex-girlfriends of Robert. He has a knack for uh, homemade videos."_

"Oh, God," Alex said in the background.

" _Not just that, but an extra-friendly old woman who Munch charmed while he was attempting to sell her life insurance, told us Bailey and Hill also had a thing for the 'young girls' when the two were in college," he said._

"You mean underage?" Olivia clarified.

" _Exactly," he said. "And one of those underage girls was our murder victim that we think teenage Robert and James were involved in. Also, if they're videoing now..."_

"They may have been doing it then, which means they could have child porn," Olivia finished. "This is all good, Elliot, but how are we going to prove it?"

" _We're still working on that, but we're getting somewhere. Just hang on until I can update you tomorrow before you tell anyone else," Elliot said. "You two can sleep a little better tonight, though, hopefully."_

"Thank you, Elliot," Olivia said.

" _You don't need to thank me, Liv," he said. "You know we'd do anything for you and Alex."_

Olivia smiled before hanging up the phone up, and Elliot was right, she was going to sleep a little easier tonight.

"So, I guess I owe you an apology, huh?" Alex said.

Olivia smiled. "Of course not, Alex. You're stressed, and I understand why. But if you'd like to make it up to me?" Olivia smirked at Alex

"Wow, two nights in a row, Benson?" Alex said.

"Two nights in a row is a record for us now?" Olivia laughed. "Either we're getting old or have been working entirely too much."

"I think just working too much, because the way you look, you're definitely not getting older," Alex said.

Olivia laid down next to Alex and kissed her. Re-connecting physically with Alex the past two nights had helped take her mind off the case, and while her plan may have been to distract and tire Alex so she would sleep, she knew that it certainly wasn't hurting them. They needed each other more than ever right now.


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Here we are...the showdown with Robert. Let me know what you think. Now that we've hit a climax, I'll be winding this story down over the next few chapters, but don't worry, more will come. Also always, thanks for reading. This chapter is long, and it's kind of late, so I apologize for any grammar errors.

* * *

CHAPTER 26

 _Four Days Later._

" _Liv, we got him. Meet us at Tony's and make sure you aren't followed. We're already there."_

Those were the only words Elliot said to Olivia when he called her in the middle of the day at the precinct. She immediately grabbed her keys and bag and headed out of the precinct without a word to anyone. She was ready to take Robert and James down, and she hoped that Elliot was right and this plan worked.

She made her way across town to Tony's, a small Italian restaurant that they knew would keep out any strangers and would give them any privacy they needed in the back. It's the kind of place you would expect the mob to be hanging out, but Olivia and Elliot knew the family well enough to know better. However, Tony didn't mind the reputation, as it kept out most of the customers he didn't want to begin with.

She found a large booth in the back where Elliot, Munch, and Cragen were sitting. She hadn't seen them since this started, only talked to them on the phone. It was good to see them; she just wished it wasn't under these circumstances.

After their greetings, Elliot didn't waste any time before showing them what they had against Robert and James. He began laying out photos of both Robert and James with girls, some of them really young. Some of the photos were even more recent than Olivia had imagined, in the last couple of years. All of these girls had been identified, and some were under age 18, some under age 16 at the time of these photos.

Cragen then laid out the redacted police file on James and Robert from when they were teenagers, except this version wasn't redacted. They had murdered that girl. According to the records, the detective in charge believed she was raped by both of them and when she threatened to go to the police, James shot her. Unfortunately, all the evidence they had at the time, and the only witnesses disappeared. Robert's father was able to make it go away quietly. The guys suspected Robert used the murder over James and the fact that his father cleaned it up, to make him continue to do his bidding all these years.

Finally, Munch pushed across a envelope of small video tapes. Each labeled with names. Some included Robert. Some included James. All of them included women who were didn't know they were being filmed, and some of them showed what appeared to be non-consensual sexual contact, even with minors.

"Do I want to even know how you got all of this?" Olivia asked, shocked at everything they had laid out in front of her.

"Let's just say that at some point, James found a market for these photos and videos," Stabler said. "We don't think Robert knew James was making money on the side from it, but he was definitely involved in making it."

"So, you found people just to give this up?" Olivia said.

"Well, with a little threat of jail time and the sex offender registry for having possession of these, they were more than happy to turn on Robert and James. None of them seemed to like either of them," Munch said. "Best of all, they are all willing to testify, if need be."

"What do you mean, if need be?" Olivia said. "Of course, we'll want to get them on child pornography and rape of a minor."

"Well, you're going to need a bargaining chip against Robert," Cragen said. "We have plenty in the rest of this to get Robert on at least four rapes and two murders, as well as James on at least three murders and one rape. Probably more if we do more digging. They'll both be going away and never will see the light of day."

"Okay...," Olivia said.

"The difference you have is whether they will go to prison as child sex offenders, or not," Cragen said. "I'm willing to bet neither of them are going to want that label when they're sent up to Rikers. Obviously, that's a decision you, Alex, and your squad can make, but you have everything you need here."

Olivia nodded.

"There is one other thing you need to consider, Olivia," Stabler said. "Robert probably has his own collection of videos that we haven't even seen yet. Probably even ones of him with ...,"

"I get it, Elliot," Olivia stopped him. "You don't need to say it."

"Well, I'm just saying, when you go down this road on him, you're going to want to make sure your team is the one there collecting evidence from his apartment," Stabler said.

"I understand," Olivia said. "Thank you, guys. All of you. I'll make this up to you someday."

"Olivia, you already have," Cragen said.

#

By that evening, Barba and Olivia were sitting in the ADA's office with Robert, James, and Mr. Franklin, their attorney.

"So, here is the one-time offer," Barba said after laying out all of the evidence they had. "Your clients will admit to Katie's murder, as well as prior one, and Robert admits to the three rapes. Nothing about their teenage indiscretions, sex with minors, or distributing child pornography will come into play. Which means, if your clients ever get out, they won't have to register as child sex offenders. Of course, that will mean a lot more in Riker's than out in the real world where you can try to hide it."

"This is blackmail," Franklin said.

"No, it's a plea bargain," Barba said. "Turn-about is fair play. Which also means your clients will turn over any and all photos and videos of Alex and Olivia, including anything that may have happened when Robert and Alex were together."

Robert and James sat quietly. They knew they had been caught and that their only chance was to make the deal.

"Can my clients have the night to think it over?" Franklin asked.

"No," Barba said. "It's now, or we file charges on everything we have here first thing in the morning."

"Fine," Robert said. "I'll do it."

"James?" Barba said.

"Yeah, me too," James said, giving a curious look to Robert.

"Good," Olivia said. "You can escort us to your apartment now, Robert, for the files, while I have my officers take James in for processing."

#

Olivia and Barba had Robert escorted to his apartment and asked SVU and CSU to meet them there for evidence collection. He was cooperating and Olivia couldn't believe this was finally going to be over. She had called Alex earlier to give her a quick rundown of what the guys had found and the plan, and promised that she would be home as soon as everything was over. Alex wanted to come down, but Olivia convinced her it would only make things worse with Robert.

Robert pointed out the large safe where he kept folders of photographs and dozens of videotapes, each labelled with a name.

"Is this everything?" Olivia asked him. "Because if you hold back just one shred of evidence, the deal is off."

"It's everything," he said. "Even the ones of my bitch ex-fiancee."

"Excuse me?" Olivia moved toward him before Fin stepped in between them.

"I suggest you keep to pointing and keep your mouth shut," Fin said to Robert.

Robert finally went and sat down on the couch, watching in silence as everything he had worked for his entire life disappeared in front of him. Sure, he was going to jail, but at least it wasn't going to be going to jail as a pedofile. That's not how he saw himself anyway. In his mind, everything he had done was justified. All of those women, and girl, wanted it. And why wouldn't they? He was Robert Bailey.

"Do we have everything?" Fin asked when CSU indicated they were done. "Did you check what's in the camera now?"

The CSU tech turned the camera on and pushed play on it and the television. Another video of Robert with someone else...except this one was recent according to the datestamp. Last night, actually. And the girl in the video couldn't have been more than 16 years old.

"You're one sick fuck," Fin muttered as Robert was getting up and demanding they shut it off.

"Sit down." Fin said.

"I can't do this. I can't go to prison," Robert began shouting.

"Are you saying we don't have a deal?" Barba asked. "Because if you want to back out now...,"

Before Barba could finish, Robert grabbed one of the rookie officers who assigned to escort him. Before the officer knew what happened, Robert had grabbed his gun and held it to the officer's head.

"You don't want to do this, Robert," Olivia said calmly as the others drew their weapons.

"I won't go to prison!" Robert shouted. "Do you know what they do to guys like me there?"

"Robert, we can get you into protective custody," Olivia said. "There won't be any child pornography or child sexual abuse charges filed."

"That's not what I'm talking about," he said. "I grew up in the Hamptons. I'm the biggest name on Wall Street. We both know I'll be dead within a matter of minutes of arriving there."

"Look, Robert, we can request a different prison," Barba said. "Another place outside of New York City. Just put the gun down and let the officer go."

Robert pushed the offer down and put the gun to his own head.

"Robert, you being dead won't fix any of this," Olivia said, slowly moving closer.

"Why do you care?" He shouted.

"You're right, Robert," Olivia said. "I shouldn't care. After what you did to those women. After what you did to Alex. But it's my job to care Robert, and right now, I need you to put that gun down because nothing is worth taking your own life."

Robert's hand began to shake and it started to move down. Olivia saw and approached, reaching out slightly for the gun. "Just give me the gun and we'll figure this out," she said.

He began to move the gun further down before glancing over at the paused video on the television. "No," he said. "I can't do it."

 _BANG!_

"No!" Olivia shouted as she dove toward his arm. She was too late, and both of them were on the floor covered in Robert's blood.

Fin reached down to help Olivia up.

"Liv, it's okay," he said. "It's over. It was his decision."

Fin walked Olivia toward the kitchen to grab a towel and wipe Robert's blood from her face.

"I should have known," she said. "He was too calm until he saw the video. A man like Robert would have never given up so easily."

"Liv, we didn't know," Fin said. "There's nothing we could have done."

Barba walked into the kitchen to where they were standing.

"That was booking," he said. "James Hill just hung himself in his holding cell."

Olivia and Fin just stared at him. This had been their plan all along. Probably for years.

"I just got off the phone with Franklin to let him know what happened here," Barba said. "I reminded him that the terms of our agreement still stood. If he wanted to protect his clients' reputation, nothing on anyone Robert had a relationship had could come out."

"Thanks," was all Olivia could manage to say.

"Come on, Liv," Fin said. "I'm going to drive you home."

Before she got out of the car, Fin stopped her.

"Here, I figured CSU had enough videos to go through," he said before handing her a few small tapes that simply said 'Alex C.'

#

It was late when Olivia made it home and it had been a long day. It was not the outcome anyone had hoped for. Sure, she wanted Alex protected, but she didn't want two more people to die for it, even if she hated Robert for what he did to Alex. It had been hours since she had talked to Alex. Their last conversation she had told Alex everything was going to be okay and that Robert was going to jail. Now, she was going home covered in his blood.

"Olivia," Alex said when she saw Olivia come through the door. "It's so late. What took so long?"

It was dark in the apartment, aside from a reading lamp near the couch, and Alex had yet to see Olivia's face or bloody clothes.

"Oh my God," Alex said when Olivia came into the light near her. "Liv, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Robert's dead."

"What?" Alex asked, unsure of what happened. "How?"

"So is James Hill," Olivia said. "Robert shot himself while we were collecting evidence at his apartment. James hung himself in the holding cell."

"Olivia, I'm so sorry," Alex pulled her in for a hug, but Olivia pushed her away. The last thing she wanted to do was get Robert's blood on Alex.

"Let me just take a shower and change," Olivia said. "I'll be to bed soon."

Olivia grabbed a trash bag from the bathroom and put the bloody clothes in it before getting into the shower. Everything about this case from the beginning made her want to scrub herself clean every night. Every single detail they learned about Robert just confirmed how sick in the head he was, and every time she thought about it, she thought about Alex. How Alex almost married him. How he hurt Alex. How he could have killed Alex. Olivia stood in the hot shower for what seemed like forever and scrubbed every inch of her body. She knew that no matter what, Robert had gotten the ultimate revenge. He knew Olivia would see the videos of Alex, and then he made sure she'd remember his face forever as he pulled the trigger. Robert would never be gone from her memory, or from Alex's and Robert had made sure of it.

After the shower, Olivia got dressed and went to the living room for her bag before joining Alex in bed.

Alex could see Olivia's mind turning. She knew everything Olivia was thinking about Robert and she hurt because she knew she couldn't stop it. She still blamed herself for everything, as much as she logically knew it was Robert's fault. He started this, not her.

"Come here," Alex said to Olivia as she crawled into bed. "It's over, Liv. It's all over."

Alex reached out and pulled Olivia into her arms.

"I know," Olivia said. "I know."

Olivia rolled back over and grabbed her bag. She knew she had to tell Alex about the video, and as much as she didn't want to do it tonight, she wanted everything truly over. She reached in and grabbed the envelope of videos before handing them to Alex.

"What is this?" Alex asked. Olivia just nodded for her to open it.

Alex reached in and saw the videos with her name on it.

"Son of a bitch!" Alex yelled. "Wait, Liv, why do you have this? Isn't this evidence?"

"Alex, we have more than enough evidence. Besides, there is no need for evidence anymore," Olivia said. "Fin gave them to me on our way home."

"Oh God," Alex said. "Did anyone?"

"No, Alex," Olivia said. "No one has seen them, and no one ever needs to see them...including you."

Alex put them back in the envelope and sat them aside on the dresser. She pulled Olivia in for a kiss and then a hug before breaking down in her lover's arm. Olivia began to cry, too.

"It's okay, Alex," Olivia said. "Like you said, it's over, and now we get to move on with our lives."

"Yeah, somehow," Alex said.

"Hey, Alex," Olivia said. "No, we'll get through this, together. I love you, and that's all I need to know."

"I love you, too, Liv."


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Quick note on Robert's suicide. I know it was a bit of a surprise, but the more I was writing it, the more I realized that a man like Robert couldn't/wouldn't go to prison. It would probably be a worse fate for him. That's why I settled on the suicide.

* * *

CHAPTER 27

 _Two weeks later._

"Alex, aren't you done packing yet, it's a three-day weekend, not three weeks!" Olivia said as Alex was finishing packing for their weekend away.

"Well, since you won't tell me where we're going, I have to be prepared," Alex smirked trying to fit everything in her suitcase.

"Alex, you could wear nothing, and I'd be perfectly happy," Olivia smiled.

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I'd be in jail if I went everywhere nude," Alex said.

"Okay fine, just hurry," Oliva said. "I'm going to check in on Noah."

Half an hour later Alex was finally packed and ready to go. When she came into the living room with her bags, there was a knock at the door.

"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?" Alex was surprised to see her parents. "We're just about to go out of town for the weekend."

Alex's parents laughed as they entered the apartment.

"We know that," Caroline said. "Why do you think we're here?"

"Liv, what's going on?" Alex said.

"I may have asked your parents to watch Noah this weekend so we could have some time alone," Olivia said and pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek.

"Seriously?" Alex could barely contain her excitement.

"Yes, Alex, seriously," Olivia said. "Now, can we finally go? Caroline, John, thank you so much again. I left instructions and emergency numbers for everything, but I have a feeling Noah will be right at home with you."

"You girls get out of here," John said. "We don't want to see you until Monday afternoon.

Once they reached the car, Alex pulled Olivia in for a kiss.

"Thank you so much for this, Liv," Alex said. "Now, will you finally tell me where we're going?"

"Cape Cod," Olivia said. "I thought a bed and breakfast would be the perfect get-a-way after the month we've had. I just wish it could be longer."

"I'm really glad you called my parents," Alex said once they were on the road. "They really do love, Noah."

"I know, Alex," Olivia said. "That's exactly why I asked them and not anyone else. He needs to get to know his grandparents better seeing as how their the only ones he has."

A four-hour drive later, Alex and Olivia arrived at their destination. It was late Friday night, and they were tired but were looking forward to the next couple of days to themselves before having to return to reality.

As they crawled into bed, Alex noticed Olivia had been fairly quiet on the drive over, in addition to the past couple of weeks, since Robert.

"Liv, can I ask you a question?" Alex said.

"Anything, Al," Olivia said.

"What are your nightmares about?" Alex said. Olivia had been waking up the past couple of weeks and often ended up on the couch.

"Alex, you know I have nightmares sometimes, it's nothing," Olivia answered.

"Liv, please don't do that. This isn't like your others, the ones about Lewis. You haven't had those in a while. These are new. Is it Robert?"

Olivia sighed. She knew she couldn't keep it from Alex, but she didn't want Alex to worry.

"It's just, watching someone do that, kill themselves in front of you, it never really goes away," Olivia said. "I think that's what he wanted; for me to remember that."

They hadn't talked much about Robert since the shooting. IAB cleared SVU of any wrong-doing and everything had started to get back to normal...except Olivia's nightmares. Some nights it was about Robert shooting himself. Some nights it was about Robert shooting Alex. Other night, it was about what he did to Alex. Anyway you looked at it, he had managed to get inside Olivia's head, but she was fighting like hell to keep him out.

"Hey," Olivia looked over at Alex deep in thought. "I'm tired of talking about Robert. This is our weekend away, and I know we've had a long drive, but I was hoping we could get a head start tonight on our 'alone' time."

"Is that right?" Alex said, giving Olivia a smirk. "What did you have in mind, _Detective_?"

"Detective? I haven't heard you call me that in a long time, _Counselor_?" Olivia said.

"Well, I thought it was fitting since we were kid-free this weekend, and hopefully have lots of Detective and Counselor things in store for us...and not Lieutenant and Judge things," Alex teased.

"Oh, you have no idea what I have in store for you," Olivia said before moving on top of Alex and pressing their lips together.

An hour later, both Olivia and Alex were fast asleep, neither of them having the energy they used to have, but both of them happy all the same.

#

The following morning, Alex woke in Olivia's arms to see the brunette staring at her.

"You know, it's not polite to stare," Alex said.

"I can't help it," Olivia said. "You're beautiful."

"I think I remember you saying something like that last night right before you started snoring," Alex teased.

"Hey! We had a long drive," Olivia protested. "Besides, I remember you snoring pretty quickly afterward. You woke me up."

"I do not snore!" Alex said.

"Alex, I have literally shared a bed with you hundreds of times," Olivia said. "Trust me when I say you snore. You also talk in your sleep."

A pillow suddenly hit Olivia in the face.

"That's not fair!" Olivia said.

"All is fair in love and war," Alex said. "And I do love you."

"And I love you," Olivia kissed Alex.

"So, what do you have planned for us today?" Alex asked.

"Well, I thought we could go to Martha's Vineyard this morning and do some sight-seeing," Olivia said. "I love the Gingerbread Cottages there."

"That sounds wonderful, Liv," Alex said. "The only bad part of your plan is that it requires us getting out of bed today."

"Don't worry, tomorrow, I have a lazier day planned for us," Olivia said before rolling out of bed and heading for the shower. "You going to join me?"

"Oh, now that I'll get out of bed for," Alex smiled.


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: So, we're ending this up...though I will likely throw up a short epilogue this weekend. Thanks so much for following along with a story that was only going to be a few chapters. If you haven't already, check out my new one "Complicated" which is currently in progress.

* * *

CHAPTER 28

Olivia and Alex spent the day strolling around on Martha's Vineyard. They walked through the Gingerbread Cottages, each commenting on which were their favorites and which looked like houses from a horror movie. They found a nice restaurant on the bay to have lunch and did some historical sightseeing, as well. The weather was perfect and neither of them could remember a more perfect day.

"This was a really good plan, Olivia," Alex said. "I'm really glad we were able to get away, and as much as I love Noah, I am grateful for time alone with you."

"Well, that was the idea," Olivia said. "You deserve it. Now, let's go grab the rental car, because we have one more place to go before the last ferry."

"You are just full of surprises today, aren't you?" Alex smiled.

The two women drove out to the Edgartown Lighthouse, stopping at a local shop so Olivia could pick up a few items for her planned sunset picnic. They made their to the lighthouse, and found a nice spot where they could see the lighthouse as well as the bay.

"Liv, you really have outdone yourself," Alex said. "Did you ever thing all those years ago when we met that we would be here?"

"Honestly, no. I mean, it's what I wanted, but I guess it just took us a little longer to get here," Olivia put her arm around Alex as the sun began to set.

"I've been thinking about something, Liv," Alex said.

Olivia tensed up a bit and became nervous, unsure of what Alex was going to say.

"Mmhm?" Olivia said.

"I think I'd like to adopt Noah, and be a real mom to him," Alex said timidly. "I mean, if that's something you would want."

Olivia immediate relaxed and a smiled widened on her face.

"Alex, I would love that," Olivia said. "And Noah would, too. I mean, you're already his mom."

Olivia leaned in and kissed Alex, pulling her closer in both arms.

"I do love you and Noah," Alex said. "You're my entire world."

"I'm glad you feel that way because it makes what I'm about to ask you a whole lot easier," Olivia said, pulling away from Alex and dropping to a knee.

Alex's mouth dropped open, realizing what was getting ready to happen.

"Alex, I don't know exactly what day it was that I fell in love with you, but I know I started falling in love with you within a few months of you working for SVU. _I fell in love with your courage, your sincerity and your flaming self respect_. And even when we were at each other's throats, even when our world was turned completely upside down, I finally knew that love could exist for me because I found it with you. And I know, we've wasted so much time apart - years, but I don't want to waste another second not telling you that I want to spend the rest of my life, and Noah's life, with you as my wife."

"Alex Cabot, will you marry me?"

"Yes! Yes!" Alex managed to say through her tears. "I want nothing more than to spend my life with you and Noah. _My heart is, and always will be, yours_."

"Did you just quote Jane Austen?" Olivia smiled.

"Did you just quote Fitzgerald?" Alex said.

"Well, my mom was an English professor," Olivia said. "What's your excuse?"

"No excuse," Alex said. "It's just the truth."

"Come on, we have to catch the ferry," Olivia said. "And we need to call your parents, otherwise they'll be tracking us down in the morning."

"You told them?" Alex said.

"What? Like I wouldn't ask your father's permission," Olivia teased.

"You're funny," Alex said. "But, I can't wait to tell Noah."

"Me either," Olivia said. "And Alex, you're going to be a wonderful mother."

Alex smiled.

"I think that means you officially have MILF status now," Olivia teased.

"Olivia!"

"What? It's true," Olivia smiled and kissed Alex lightly, taking her hand as they headed back toward the ferry.

"Well, I'd say the same thing about you, but like they say, 'been there, done that,'" Alex laughed. "And definitely plan on doing a lot more tonight."


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Here it is, the final chapter/epilogue to One Angry Judge. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. Yeah, this is all mush.

* * *

CHAPTER 29 - EPILOGUE

 **ONE YEAR LATER**

The cab ride back to their apartment was way too long for either Olivia or Alex. They had spent two weeks in Hawaii on their honeymoon and were finally returning to reality. They'd like to delay that, but after the entire day spent traveling, all they wanted to do was get home to a cozy bed.

"I can't believe we've been married for two weeks," Alex said as Olivia unlocked their apartment door and they walked in well after midnight.

"I know, it seems like forever," Olivia said, not quite paying attention to her new bride.

"Forever?" Alex said. "Liv, the correct answer is 'it seems like only yesterday.' I guess the honeymoon really is over."

Olivia smiled and pulled Alex into a kiss. "Not even close, sweetie. Although I know I'm supposed to carry you over the threshold or something to the bedroom, but can we try that tomorrow, I'm pretty zonked?"

"Well, this is our first night as a married couple in our apartment, so I hope you're not too sleepy to christen our bed," Alex teased.

"Alex, I'm pretty sure we've christened every inch of this apartment with the exception of Noah's room," Olivia said. "What time are your parents dropping Noah off in the morning?"

"10 A.M.," Alex replied. "I know it's late, Liv, but we've been traveling all day. I'm going to shower before bed. Do you want to join me?"

Olivia had rolled her suitcase near the laundry basket and was sitting on the bed. "Yeah, go on and I'll join you in a just a minute."

Alex walked into the bathroom and Olivia laid back on the bed. She was so tired and glad to be home. The last two weeks had been wonderful, but she wasn't sure where Alex got all of her energy. Olivia always had plenty of energy for sex, but Alex drug her around the island all day. Snorkeling, boat tours, volcano tours, sightseeing. Olivia's idea of a honeymoon was laying on the beach with Alex for two weeks straight and drinking pina coladas. Yeah, they did plenty of that, but knowing that motherhood and work was looming, exhausted her even more. But it was a happy exhausted. She wouldn't change anything.

That was the last thought she remembered having before she heard Alex calling her name.

"Olivia!" Alex said standing over her.

"Hey, Al, I'll be right there," Olivia said in a half asleep, half awake tone.

"In case you didn't notice, I'm all done, and you feel asleep...on our wedding night," Alex said.

"It's not our wedding night, Alex," Olivia said. "That was two very short weeks ago." She remembered enough of their earlier conversation not the make that mistake again.

"Well, our first night in our apartment, married," Alex said as she crawled into bed with Olivia. Alex turned to take her glasses off and turn the lamp next to her side of the bed off. When she rolled back over to face Olivia, she found her wife sound asleep.

"Oh, Liv, you will pay for this," Alex said with a grin and drifted fast asleep.

Olivia woke a little before 10 AM the next morning. She couldn't believe her body let her sleep that long, even with the long flights and jet lag. Alex was still soundly sleeping, so Olivia got out of bed to make coffee. She remembered falling asleep on Alex the previous night and knew Alex wasn't going to be happy about it; the least she could do is let her new wife sleep as long as she wanted today.

At 10 AM sharp, the Cabots knocked on the door with Noah and came in with bagels for breakfast.

"We figured you girls wouldn't have food in the apartment and would be hungry," Caroline Cabot said.

"Momma!" Noah yelled as his Grandpa John put him down. He ran to Olivia to give her a big hug.

"Hey, Noah," she said leaning down to him. "I missed you so much! Caroline, John, thank you so much for keeping him...and for the bagels. Alex is still sleeping."

"Anytime, Liv," Caroline said. "You're family."

"Wake up Alex?" Noah asked.

"That's a good idea, Noah," Olivia said. "But do you remember what we talked about before the wedding? About how if you want to, you can call Alex 'Mommy.'"

"OK," he said and took off running toward the bedroom.

John and Caroline smiled at Olivia and Noah. "Has he ever called her mommy?" Caroline asked.

"No," Olivia said. "I mean, we've never pushed, it and he's never really asked much, but we did talk to him before the wedding. I figure he's young enough right now, he'll do whatever he comes up with. When he's older, he can make that decision, but I know what I would like."

"Well, we're thrilled that we have a grandchild and that you and Noah are part of our family, officially, now," Caroline said.

"And of course, we're glad Alex is all your responsibility now," John said, and they all laughed. "For real, Olivia, thank you for making our daughter so happy. I'm glad this finally worked out for the two of you."

"Me, too."

Noah finally made it to the bedroom after getting distracted by his own room and everything else along the way. He ran over to the bed and climbed on it before jumping on Alex.

"Mommy!" he said.

Alex rolled over and groaned. Her eyes opened wide once she realized it was Noah and he had just called her mommy.

"Noah," Alex said. "Come give me a hug. I missed you so much."

"Grandma here. And food," he said.

Alex rolled out of bed and grabbed her robe before walking into the living room where Olivia and her parents were.

"Looks like someone had a late night," John said when he saw Alex.

"Not as late as I would have liked," Alex smirked and glanced toward Olivia, who blushed.

"Why don't the two of you go get dressed and I'll get the bagels ready," Caroline said. "I see the coffee is already started."

"Always. We have priorities," Olivia said. She and Alex went to the bedroom to get ready while Noah joined John in the living room for a game and Caroline began getting breakfast ready.

"Did you tell Noah to call me Mommy?" Alex asked when they were alone.

"I just reminded him that he could if he wanted to," Olivia said. "I take it he did?"

"Yeah," Alex smiled. "It was nice."

"Well, get used to it because you are officially as much his mother as I am," Olivia said. "Also, I'm sorry I fell asleep last night."

"Oh, that's okay, Liv," Alex said. "I'll make sure you make it up to me later because if you don't, I will hold you in contempt of court."

"Oh, we're back in the city less than a day, and Judge Cabot has already shown back up," Olivia said.

"Yes, she has," Alex said. "And you, Olivia Benson, have just been sentenced to life with no chance of parole."

"Just the way I like it," Olivia said and pulled Alex in for a kiss. "I love you, Alex,"

"I love you, too, Liv."


End file.
